The Rising Beyond Podcast

Feeling completely burned out from healing? You’re not alone.

In this episode, Sybil dives into a phase of healing that almost no one talks about — the exhaustion that hits after leaving an abusive relationship. If you're feeling numb, unmotivated, or like healing is suddenly impossible… this is for you.
We’ll explore:

In this episode, I speak with attorney, advocate, and author Meg Groff, whose 40+ years of experience supporting victims of domestic violence have impacted countless families. We dive into the critical missteps attorneys often make in family court, how those missteps put survivors and children at risk, and what needs to change. Meg also shares insights from her powerful new book, Not If I Can Help It, and offers a vision for how legal systems, legislation, and cultural understanding must evolve to better protect survivors.

About Meg:
Meg Groff is an attorney, advocate, and author with more...

You finally left. You survived.

So why do you still feel like you're the one who did something wrong?

We’re unpacking the survivor’s guilt and moral injury that often surface after leaving an abusive relationship—especially when your children are still in contact with the abusive parent, or when you feel like others "had it worse."

We explore:

Abusers who use coercive control don’t just manipulate one person—they manipulate everyone around them, including their own children. As a protective parent, whether you’ve left the relationship or are still navigating it, how can you empower your child to recognize manipulation and maintain their sense of self?

In this episode, we dive deep into:

✔️ How coercive control tactics—like triangulation, gaslighting, and emotional withholding—are used against children
 ✔️ The subtle and overt ways abusers condition kids to doubt themselves and comply with their demands
 ✔️ Why strengthening your bond with your child is the first and m...

As you start healing from coercive control and domestic violence within your relationship, it is likely that you will start to have revelations about other relationships in your life.

Patterns and experiences in your family of origin, specifically with your parents may come to the forefront, especially if there was physical or emotional abandonment.  

We welcome Kaytee Gillis, LCSW back to The Rising Beyond Podcast as we do a deep dive on the impacts of parental abandonment; what that means, how you have been impacted, how cultural messages have impacted your ability to understand unhealthy d...

Language shapes how we see ourselves, our experiences, and our healing journey. In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, we’re diving into why words matter for survivors of domestic violence—how they can be used to manipulate and harm, and how they can also be reclaimed to empower and heal.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
 ✔️ The power of survivor language vs. the gaslighting words abusers use.
 ✔️ How trauma-informed language can support healing while victim-blaming language hinders it.
 ✔️ The role of the media and family court in shaping narratives around abuse.
 ✔️ How ab...

Being able to share your experiences of coercive control and domestic violence in a way that is credible is imperative if you are dealing with any larger systems or trying to get support from friends and family.

And this is something survivors of abuse struggle with.

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast we look at not only the importance of sharing a credible story, but the common challenges that survivors face and then some practical steps that can be taken to improve the level of credibility that you can gain when telling your...

How often have you felt voice-less and silenced as a survivor of coercive control and domestic violence?

Survivors are voice-less when living in the relationship with their abuser.  They also often do not get a chance to speak their truth in family court or within any other larger systems either.

And so when you are in a place where you want to be heard and decide to make things more public, it is possible that your abuser will do anything and everything to silence you again. This is what happened to my guest, Lorraine Marshall. S...

Supervised visitation and therapeutic visitation are meant to provide safety and structure for children and families navigating complex custody dynamics. But what happens when there are no regulations, inconsistent oversight, and a severe lack of training among those facilitating these visits? In this episode, I share real-life stories, my experiences getting trained, and the major concerns with how these services are currently being implemented. I’ll break down:

Even though you’ve left the relationship, do you still feel embarrassed when you remember the way your ex treated others? Do you find yourself cringing at memories of their public outbursts, apologizing for their past behavior, or worrying that others judge you because of them?

This lingering sense of responsibility is called vicarious shame—when you feel embarrassed on behalf of someone else’s actions, even though you weren’t the one who did anything wrong.

In this episode, we explore:
✔️ Why vicarious shame lingers long after leaving an abuser
✔️ How abusers used it to manipu...

What if the key to your post-separation freedom wasn’t fighting for control, but letting go of what’s beyond it?

Imagine reclaiming your energy by focusing only on what you can control, even in the face of narcissistic abuse or coercive control. How might that shift your healing journey?

Our guest Karen McMahon is a divorce coach specializing in supporting survivors of narcissistic abuse. Karen shares how to move from helplessness to empowerment. Together, we explore:

You are likely listening to The Rising Beyond Podcast because of coercive control and abuse within a romantic relationship.  Unfortunately coercive control often shows up in other relationships as well and can have long term impacts on your mental health and wellness and can interfere with your healing journey.

Many of my clients have experienced what they often call a “test” of their healing.  This is when they encounter a narcissistic and abusive person in another area of their lives.

In this episode we dive into how coercive control and abuse can show up in the...

If you are a survivor in the battle ground of family court, would you say that your attorney is representing you well?

Do you feel heard?  

Or maybe you do not have the financial means to even hire an attorney.

And so you find yourself going pro se.  Representing yourself in family court.  This can be extremely scary and it is possible that you will be able to do an even better job going pro se than with an attorney.  On this episode of I have a conversation with Casey Schreiber-Brinkman on how she...

Have you ever felt like your entire life is consumed by the chaos of post-separation abuse? What if I told you that there’s a part of you—a healing self—that can exist outside of the constant stress and conflict? And what if you could nurture that part of you, even in the middle of everything you're facing?

There is the delicate balance between the part of you that is stuck in survival mode—managing the daily chaos of post-separation abuse, family court battles, and co-parenting with a toxic ex—and the part of you that is yearnin...

When you finally realize that you are being abused in your relationship and that your partner is a narcissist, it can hit you like a ton of bricks.

In this episode, I have a conversation with Mita Begum on her experience of realizing that she had been in two different abusive relationships after watching a video on Tik Tok and what she did to start getting her power back before even leaving her relationship.  She shares the steps she continues to take as she heals and helps other women heal and find their power.

We a...

Explore the transformative power of creativity as a tool for processing emotions and reclaiming your identity after abuse. Learn how engaging in creative expression can help rewire your brain, improve your mood, and reconnect you to your true self.

We’ll dive into:

This episode in...

We’re diving deep into the world of triggers. A common and often overwhelming experience for survivors of trauma and abuse. We’ll explore what triggers are, why they happen, and how they can actually become opportunities for healing and growth.

Whether you’re just beginning your recovery journey or you’re further along, this episode offers practical tools and validation to help you navigate triggers with confidence and compassion.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why is it that we can understand the abuse we suffered, understand why we are hypervigilant, and yet not see the progress we are hoping for on the healing front?

The trauma of an abusive, narcissistic and coercively controlling relationship affects survivors in such a way that we cannot just think our way out of it.  Your brains and nervous systems have been re-wired to protect you and your survival at all costs.  And your nervous system will not give up those strategies of survival just because you now understand the abuse.

This abuse is he...

If you’re a survivor navigating family court, co-parenting with an abusive ex, and just trying to make it through another day, goal-setting might feel like an impossible task. Even though it is a new year, you are expecting the same old BS from your co-parent and the family court system.

In this episode, we explore how to set meaningful goals for the year ahead—even when life feels like it’s stuck on repeat and the container you’re in does not seem to be changing.

Drawing inspiration from the book 10X Is Easier Than 2X...

One of the most devastating consequences of coercive control and domestic abuse is the stripping away of the victim’s identity and sense of self.

The emotional and psychological abuse leads victims to feel incapable of doing even small tasks that may once have felt easy, let alone the belief that one can follow their dreams.

What if finding a way to take that first step towards your dreams could catapult your healing?

On this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, I talk with Lola REid Allin on how following her dreams to be...

What can we learn from all that happened in 2024?

In this episode, I share some of the top themes that I have seen throughout the year based on the most listened to podcast episodes, my communications with the other advocates fighting for survivors of coercive control and domestic violence, and most importantly the clients and community members I have the honor to walk alongside every day.

I have seen parallels between the podcast episodes that had the highest engagement and that of the typical healing process from abuse.  I also discuss the changes legislatively that h...

Post separation abuse resources are still scarce even though it is no longer a secret that abuse continues after a victim leaves the relationship.

Feeling like you are on your own as you read and respond to your co-parent’s messages in your co-parenting app or as you search through hundreds of messages to find that one thread that your attorney has asked you to find by the end of the day is common for survivors dealing with post separation abuse.

The Rising Beyond Podcast first introduced Anne Wintemute, the co-founder of Aimee says, the AI...

Navigating the family court system with an abusive ex can feel like an endless, uphill battle. 

And with our current system broken and the current state of our world, the idea of “finding hope” and positivity may not feel possible.

In this episode, we explore how to find steadiness and strength when hope feels out of reach. Instead of relying on external outcomes, we discuss how cultivating resilience and persistence can empower you, and how creating personal anchors can offer daily stability. These tools are practical, actionable, and within your control—helping you stay grounded, no matt...

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in your head?

It may mean that you need to get out of your thoughts and into your body and emotions.

On this week’s episode we do a deep dive with Bre Wolta, a relationship coach and certified EFT practitioner, on her experiences leaving an abusive relationship and the invaluable lessons about boundaries, self-worth, and the illusion of "potential land” she learned on her healing journey. She explains how clinging to hope can keep you anchored in dysfunction, and emphasizes the importance of emotional recognition and proc...

What does the family court system and other systems need to know about the realistic time it will take someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or those who are high on the continuum of narcissism to actually change?

That is if they are willing to change.

And if you are struggling to leave, hoping that your partner will make the changes they have promised, what do you need to know?

In this episode I critique and summarize an article that hooked me in several years ago called 
“10 Stages in the Treatment of Nar...

Transparency is a requirement for any meaningful change in our family court system for survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  This is extremely apparent when you hear the horror stories of survivors day after day of their time and retraumatization in family court.

And just recently, the curtain has been pulled back to allow the world to see what is really going on when a survivor of domestic violence tries to protect her children in family court.  Today I am talking with two survivors with their own horror stories who have both received media attention on th...

Coercive control and dv thrive in secrecy and so for many reasons victims lose their voices in the process of these relationships.  

Once a victim has left they have to make the decision of what parts of their story to share and with whom.  This is especially important when a victim finds themselves in the family court system trying to protect their family.

When facing a divorce with your abusive ex partner it would seem that a trial is inevitable and based on research and the experiences of so many I've worked with, it's a cr...

Are awareness and education the best option for decreasing the rates of domestic violence and coercive control?

While it is important, we have been bringing awareness to the public since 1987 and it doesn’t feel like a lot has changed.

What I believe will have the most impact is accountability for those that perpetrate family violence and coercive control on others? And I am not the only one.  But why isn’t it happening?

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, I share my thoughts on why there is consistently no accountability for a...

Isolation as a tactic of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence is fairly well understood, however are there larger consequences to continued isolation post separation?

Similar to the scores from the Adverse Childhood Experiences Scale (ACES), isolation has been shown to have long term negative impacts on your physical, mental, and brain health.

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast you will come along with me as I learn more about how the tactic of isolation can impair your brain’s ability to heal through neuroplasticity and impair its ability to form new connections.  

What is Officer Involved Domestic Violence? 

This is an area of advocacy where we have known to be a problem for years and it is unspoken; a “dirty little secret.”  Bruce Bieber agreed to share his story as a way to move this issue into the forefront so that change might actually happen.

Take care of yourself as you listen to this story.

Abigail Rose Bieber, “Abby” to her friends and family, was the first of their three children to move to the Tampa Bay area.  In short order, Abby became a Hillsborough County Sher...

What happens when you finally find that one or two people who actually get the narcissistic abuse that you have gone through and continue to go through post separation?

Oftentimes you might find yourself sharing like water coming out of a fire hose.  The validation and head nods when you are sharing your experiences just increase the amount you are sharing.  And this is solidified when they are able to finish your sentences before you do.

And while these experiences can be extremely helpful as you heal, the constant conversations around the abuse can create a...

What is a typical pattern or blueprint for the relationship with a narcissist?

Love Bombing happens first.  Followed by devaluation.  And then concludes with the Discard.

And this cycle happens over and over again within the relationship leaving the victim confused, hurt and willing to do anything just to experience the good times again.

But does this pattern happen after a victim separates from their partner?

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, Nova Gibson and I discuss this pattern and how it changes and what it looks like during po...

What is it going to take for there to be real systemic change? 

The state of our family court system for survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse is horrific for so many families.  And recently some of the unethical and biased decisions made by judges has had the curtain pulled back and has made it into the media here in CO.  

This episode is a rant and some of my thoughts about everything that has been going on in our family court system as I supported those working with Rachel Pickrel Hawkins, the mom who...

How does a narcissistic and abusive partner get you stuck in a relationship?

Most of the time it is through love bombing, moving extremely quickly, and coercing you into a larger commitment, like living together, getting engaged or married or having a baby.

But what does it look like when the victim says “no?”

Oftentimes the perpetrator will find another way, like with reproductive coercion.

In this episode, my guest, Lynn Stroud and I dive into a lesser discussed topic where a perpetrator of abuse does all they can to get thei...

Is it easy for you to choose what battles to fight and what battles to let go of when you are co-parenting with your abusive and narcissistic ex-partner?

Many of the survivors I have worked with struggle to make this decision based on the judgments of others, the self-doubt, and the weight that their decisions may carry for their children.

In this episode, I want to guide you through some questions that you can use to assess whether the battle in front of you is worth fighting or not in a way that will keep...

Why did I end up in an abusive relationship?

There is no one reason or answer to this question with the exception of…your partner chose to abuse you.

And I know that this answer does not satisfy anyone.  So we are going to look at one of the factors that make women more susceptible to being targeted by an abusive person and why they are more likely to stay in an abusive relationship. 

We are doing a deep dive into generational trauma.

Generational trauma is when trauma is passed down thro...

How can we add a layer of protection for young people so that they can see coercive control in relationships a mile away?

What if we brought education about coercive control and teen dating violence into our schools?

In this episode, I have a conversation with Lis Hoyte on her goal to bring this education on coercive control and healthy relationships into the school systems in the UK and then across the globe.  We talk about the realities of when coercive control starts to show up in the relationships of our teens and tweens and s...

What is the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting?
If you have separated from your narcissistic ex-partner and you share children together, it is likely that you will still have to parent your children together in some capacity.  So, which one is right for you?

Co-parenting, in theory, is what is in the best interest of your children. During co-parenting, you are making decisions together, discussing concerns, attending events together, and trying to keep the rules and structure in the home consistent. This only works if both parents can truly put the child’s needs first and...

Our family court system continues to harm families on a daily basis.  If you are a survivor of domestic violence, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse and share children with your ex-partner, you are likely experiencing this firsthand.

But what can we do about it?

We are creating an army of advocates who are passionate about creating massive changes within our larger systems.  And today I have the honor of talking with two of the women on the front lines of this fight, Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko.

In this episode, you are go...

If your children have not had contact or very little contact with your abusive ex-partner then it is likely that a judge will court order reunification therapy.

What exactly is reunification therapy?  And is it in the best interests of your children?

I share the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects of reunification therapy based on my personal experiences of being trained (sort of) and providing reunification therapy with families involved with child protection.  There were times where the process was beautiful and other times when the process was completely unethical.  

Don't mis...