Let's Keep Talking with Braxton Gilbert

I have learned there are five different ways to engage with s*xual energy. I am sharing them with you here. 

1. Escapism
2. Trying to have an orgasm
3. Pleasure and enjoyment throughout the entire experience 
4. Giving and receiving love
5. Ecstatic Union

Join my next men's group: https://sites.google.com/view/8weekmensgroupcom/home

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In this video I talk about the many ways a lesson from Alexey Welsh has impacted me in the recent weeks. In short, I am learning the skill of sensitivity in sexual practice and it has been so remarkable I wanted to record a video just quickly outlining the few key points I have experienced. I hope this is useful for you.

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Is it time to reimagine sexuality as something sacred and awe-inspiring rather than just a biological function? Join me as I share my personal journey of overcoming compulsive sexual behaviors and addiction by embracing sex as a profound mystery. Influenced by Western civilization and purity culture, our perceptions of sex have often been marred by shame and guilt. Together, we’ll explore how honoring sexual attraction can lead to personal growth and a richer understanding of ourselves. Discover how redefining sex beyond societal constraints has been transformative in my life, and how it can be for you too.

I respect Alexey Welsh so much. This is the second episode we have recorded together about sex. He has a truly eye-opening perspective on sex, and a great course online that I have personally used.

https://www.lovefloweducation.com/ (Alexey's course)
https://www.youtube.com/@AlexeyWelsh (Alexey's YouTube)

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After a week or two of being engrossed in my work projects my partner asked me how I had been feeling about our relationship. This lead to a discussion about our different "appetites" for relationship and we both sought to understand one another more instead of argue over who was right / wrong / who needed to change, etc. 

We distilled the 3 things that we think worked well in our conversation, and recorded this episode to share them with you! 

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I have struggled to know how to best guide myself to sexual well-being. Indulgence, or self restraint in the name of being "good". That false dichotomy split when I realized there was no top-down rule that I could apply to know how I should behave, instead, drawing much inspiration from mindfulness practices, I have learened to simply check-in with my body to see if my desire is even legitamite or just the consumption tapeworm that lives inside my brain and can't stand to suffer a minute of boring, bland, challenging reality! (this is the case 99%) of the time. 

In many episodes I have shared information on the mechanisms of addiction  - so you're better equipped to face it. We have spent time looking closely at things like dopamine, habituation, and self-discipline.  (Dr. Anna Lembke & Dr. Daniel Lieberman)  

I have for a long time pointed to these topics when sharing about my journey with sex/pornography addiction. But here recently I've started to realize the credit might need to be shared with a simple breathing exercise I started doing about a year and a half ago. 

(Looking back now I think it's actually made all...

5 reasons I don't watch porn (even when I want to)

1. It makes sex about dopamine chasing 
2. Real sex is better and it kills that 
3. Habituation is dog shit 
4. It reinforces a style of sex that I am trying to unlearn
5. It's mostly disembodied consumption for me, and I'm asking what purpose I want sex to serve in my life? 


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Here is what AI says this episode is about: 
Ever wondered why giving up porn could transform your life in ways you never imagined? Join us as we un...

This is one of the most important distinctions I have found on my way out of darkness of sex addiction. Even when I felt NOTHING during sex.. I constantly chased it down and organized my life around it. Why? 


Here's an AI summary of my episode: 

Ever wondered why some addictions feel impossible to break? Join me, Braxton Gilbert, as I uncover the surprising truth behind sex addiction: it’s not about the act itself, but the anticipation leading up to it. Sharing my personal journey, I reveal how the dopamine rush from anticipating sexu...

I am practicing approaching sex from a totally different intention. In the past, sex has been all about entertainment, and chasing down an orgasm. However, a few episodes ago Alexey Walsh shared with me a different model for engaging with sex, one that aims at saturation instead of "completion". I am learning to saturate in the of emotional substances that make up the flow of sexual energy (mainly love and connection) instead of just quickly reaching for sex as a cure for boredom. In this episode I tell the story of the two most recent sexual experiences I have...

In this video, I share 4 themes of pornography and sex addiction that upon noticing them have really helped me in my personal growth. I hope that by sharing these discovers they may help you too! 

Four distinct themes of porn and sex addiction: 

1. I can't catch anticipation (they feeling I was after) 
2. After years of misuse, I became reliant on my behaviors for baseline dopamine (addiction) 
3. I learned to objectify people and this really screwed up relationships
4. I learned to see sex as a solo act of consumption instead of fundamentally an act...

Have you ever stood at the crossroads of temptation and discipline, feeling the magnetic pull of instant gratification? This episode is about conquering that battle, as I share my intimate journey away from the grasp of pornography and towards a more profound understanding of sexual connection. The allure of fantasy had me chasing an unattainable high, but I've discovered that the heart of addiction lies not in the content consumed, but in the pursuit itself. 

TLDR: 

For me, porn was addiction to fantasy. Addiction to the feeling of more and better. It was all about an...

In my life, I am learning so much about how honest dialogue involves conflict. I am learning to not run from conflict, but rather use its presence in my life as an indicator that I am doing something right. 

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Discover the hidden threads connecting pleasure, pain, and our coping strategies as we dissect the pleasure-pain balance in an awesome conversation with Anna Lembke! Anna is Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University and a New York Times best selling author! (And a super kind and lovely person)

She teaches me why the very things we lean on for comfort, from the instant gratification of adult content to the numbing embrace of drugs, might be steering us deeper into the clutches of depression and anxiety. We take a hard look at the...

This episode, alongside  seasoned professional in conscious sexuality Alexey Welsh, brings to light the deeper dimensions of love and connection through the lens of sexual awakening. We navigate the waters of societal norms and personal barriers, uncovering how shifting our approach to sex from excitement and pleasure to nourishment and presence can revolutionize our intimate relationships.

Throughout our discussion, we weave together the threads of sacred sexuality, conscious intimacy, and the pursuit of a shared journey in love, rather than a destination. The practice of withholding ejaculation, the balance between pleasure and purpose, and the cultural imbalances t...

Dive deep into the heart of self-awareness and relationship dynamics with us, as we unravel the enigma that is narcissism and its influence on personal boundaries. Our conversation journeys through the tricky terrain of human behavior, as we dissect the spectrum of narcissistic traits—from those that can be healthy and self-preserving to the toxic patterns indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. With the guidance of our insightful guest, we shine a light on the different faces of narcissism, the covert manipulators and the overt attention-seekers, while equipping you with the tools to recognize and protect yourself from the subtle ta...

This episode is a raw and intimate journey into the heart of addiction and the power of recovery. Courtney  bravely shares her harrowing battle with opiate and meth addiction, we peel back the layers of this often misunderstood and stigmatized condition. We discuss the paradox of seeking comfort in the very thing that hurts us and the incredible transformation that unfolds through the recovery process.

Weaving personal narratives with insights from Khalil Rafati's "I Forgot to Die" and the scientific perspectives of Dr. Anna Lemke and Dr. Daniel Lieberman, this episode is steeped in both hope and p...

Imagine a world where gender roles are not just inverted but transcended, where the value of women is celebrated beyond sexualization, and where the dance of masculine and feminine energies is a harmony, not a hierarchy. Angel de Santas joins us to navigate through this nuanced terrain, dismantling the cultural constructs that have long oppressed women and limited men. 

We dissect the problematic narratives around sexuality and performance in relationships, advocating for connection over conquest, and emphasizing the vitality of self-awareness in cultivating deep, fulfilling intimacy. This conversation is a call to action, urging both men and w...

From a crack & heroin fueled madness to spiritual well-being and entrepreneurial success.. Khalil's story is insane and I was so excited to get to hand with him for this episode!

AI summary: 
Imagine hitting rock bottom, lost in the grip of addiction, only to rise again with a story so compelling it could fill volumes. Our guest, Khalil Rafati, has lived this extraordinary arc. From the despair of Skid Row to the heights of entrepreneurial success and personal revival, Khalil's candid retelling of his journey in "I Forgot to Die" and "Remembering to Live" offers a r...

Struggling with the facade of emotional performance, I found myself yearning to break free from the shackles of others' expectations. It's a journey I share openly in this episode, as Heidi Priebe's guidance on emotional intelligence illuminates a path to living unrehearsed and embracing the full spectrum of our emotions. We delve into the exhaustion that comes from constantly adapting and the transformative power of authenticity in shaping a more genuine and fulfilling existence. Join me as we confront the battle against shame and explore the courage it takes to show up as ourselves, unfiltered and real, through the...

When Angel DeSantis recounts her escape from the Children of God cult, her story isn't just a chronicle of survival; it's a beacon of transformation for anyone seeking to reclaim their life from the shadows of oppression. Our latest podcast episode is a riveting narrative of Angel's ascent from a world where free thought was shackled by doctrine to a space where divinity is a personal and empowering experience.

Through candid recollections, Angel shares the complexities of her past life in the cult and the nuances of adapting to a world unfettered by dogmatic control. Her tales...

Get ready for a captivating conversation with our fascinating guest, Dr. Chris Donoghue He is the director of Clinical Education at the Sexual Health Alliance, an internationally lecturer on human sexuality, author, and sex therapist. 
Ever wondered how societal norms shape our views on sex? We're peeling back the layers on sex positivity, body positivity, and breaking free from the societal tapestry of sex. Chris’s enlightening insights will guide you through the process of being more intentional with sex and dating.

Remember - rating the show on your podcast platform helps me bring more enlightening con...

Dive into the fascinating world of personality types as we sit down with Caitlin Hawekotte, a certified Myers-Briggs type indicator practitioner. We'll unravel the intricacies of the Myers-Briggs assessment, exploring the four-letter type code and its dynamic components that influence how we interact and perceive the world. You'll uncover the power of self-awareness and acceptance, as we emphasize the significance of embracing our unique traits and preferences, rather than bending to societal norms.

We'll also turn the spotlight on the vital connection between personality types, cultural values, and traditional gender roles. Caitlin and I share our personal...

If this episode doesn't make you a Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, and an Atheist in one punch.. you may be too deep in the matrix. 

Thomas Moore is a former Monk. He spent nearly 30 years a jungian clinical psychologist. He's written over 20 books including two of my personal favorites: Care of the Soul, and A Religion of One's Own ... and he's this week's guest! 

We talked at length about cultivating a personal, sacred, relationship with the divine. Building your own religion and learning to draw close to the painful parts of life to give them the lo...

So many of us are caught in endless cycles of validation seeking that destroy our ability to show up to life in a way that truly connects and uplifts others, ourself included. 

Jordan and I discuss the inner mechanisms of work addiction, the role we play in our partner's personal evolution, and how we can HONOR committed romantic partnerships. 

This was a great episode. I hope you enjoy it. Please don't forget to rate the show! 

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In today's episode I talk with  @PornBrainRewireDrTrishLeigh about the ins and outs of porn addiction and sex addiction. I share my personal journey through the confusing maze of reconnecting with sexuality, and she shares clinical insights from her work with patients in her office, and around the country. Together we give you the cheat codes to take the next step in recovery. 

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Years ago I read a book called "The Molecule of More" by Dr. Daniel Z Lieberman. By reading his simple explanations of dopamine I gained clarity into human behavior that felt like a damn baptism into Buddhahood. I reached out many times to get him on the show, and just FOR YOU he agreed to do it. 

Please enjoy my awesome conversation with Dr. Daniel Z Lieberman!

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What does it mean to be a leader in today's world? Does it mean embodying the hard power persona, or does it revolve around the values of soft power - accountability and responsibility? We explore these thought-provoking questions in an insightful discussion with Larry Hagner from The Dad Edge. Larry shares his compelling views on leadership, bringing a fresh perspective on what it means to be a leader in both the workplace and within the family.

Leadership isn't confined to the four walls of an office, it can extend to the family dinner table too. From setting...

Indoctrination sucks. In this episode you will get a chance to look at ways that you can untangle and heal from being taught to belief without criticism! Thanks to Trevor Poetman for the YouTube channel and podcast "Belief It or Not" for joining me.

Because God said so!

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Today I talked with Mason Sawyer, a young man who tragically lost nearly his entire family in a single day. We discussed the meaning of pain, and the role of purpose in our life. What an incredibly meaningful discussion this was.

Mason Sawyer IG: https://instagram.com/masonsawyer91?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
1090 Project IG: https://instagram.com/10ninetyrule?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

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Addictions are challenging, they're like a parasite that robs you of your natural desires and ability to satisfy those desires and instead replace them with an insatiable craving for more and more and more. Humans are fit for that kind of endless pursuit. Addicts live a life of endless chasing with little to no satiation. Torture.

Here are the three main lessons I am leaning about sex as I heal from a decade long addiction.

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Ever found yourself stuck in the same patterns, wondering how and why you keep winding up in the same place? That's where my friend Chris Jacchio and I find ourselves in a profound conversation about conscious and unconscious behaviors. 

We ponder the power of our formative years, the societal programming we unconsciously follow, and how ancestral wisdom might be the key to breaking these recurring cycles. 

Brace yourself for a deep dive into the shadowy world of self-discovery. Chris and I unpack the complexities of personal growth, the pain of seeing others hurt, and how be...

Clear up confusion about addiction by asking "What do I need right now?"

This increased understanding of your REAL needs and can slowly allow you to start getting what you need. Which is the goal anyways.

(here's what ChatGPT says this episode is about...)

What if the most potent, pleasurable sexual experiences you could possibly have, lie on the other side of a struggle you might be ignoring? What if the real key to unlocking your sexual energy was not more porn, but less? We're diving headfirst into the deep end of porn...

Are you love avoidant? Do you self-regulate your emotional state with solo practice like binge eating/watching, constant social media addiction, food/porn indulgence, etc? 

Do you want to see your relationship as a safe space to feel and just BE? Well, join today's conversation with my love Lauren as we unpack my l love avoidant / workaholic behavior and how I am learning to truly connect for the first time in my life. 

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Ever wonder why you're not feeling a deep emotional connection with your partner? Or why you instantly reach for the remote, phone, or a bag of chips when you're feeling down? 

Today's episode is all about confronting these issues head-on, exploring the barriers we unconsciously construct that prevent us from truly experiencing emotional intimacy. We unpack what it means to be emotionally present with others, and highlight common pitfalls that might be stopping you from achieving this profound level of connection. 

Our conversation takes us through a landscape of avoidance and escapism, as we shine a...

Having boundaries into your relationships with others is THE foundation of healthy relationships. But what happens when someone crosses your boundaries? What are some practical ways we can respond with kindness and strength?

Today, we talk about how to enforce standards in relationships with those people we can most about!

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Listing the boundaries and expectations you have for your relationships couldn't be more important. But if the prep work stops there, you may find yourself with some weak "wishes" as opposed to strong limits. 

Today, we learn an exercise that will ensure our boundaries are strong barriers to mistreatment. This is key for everyone!

0:00-6:32 Intro
6:33-12:04 My 6 boundaries
12:05-15:51 Money
15:52-20:23 Guilt / Punishment
20:24-26:52 Privacy
26:53-30:41 Separateness 
30:42-34:54 Disrespect
34:55-40:14 Communication
40:15-41:58 Outro

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Guys, here are the 6 fundamental boundaries that exist between two people in a healthy relationship:

1. Emotional Boundaries - Your problems are not my problems. 
2. Money - My money is not yours.
3. Time - Time is money. (See #2)
4. Intellectual - We can have different viewpoints.
5. Physical - Personal space is a thing. 
6. Sexual - Enthusiastic consent from everyone.

This episode is a great starting line for you if you are interested in integrating healthy boundaries into your relationships with others.

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Ever find yourself saying 'yes' when you really mean 'no'? 

What if that small two-letter word 'no', could be the key to unlocking healthier, more authentic relationships? That's what we're diving into today. The power of 'no' is often underestimated and misinterpreted. It’s not about asserting dominance but staying true to yourself and encouraging others to do the same. We will be debunking the fear surrounding the usage of 'no' in relationships and how it can lead to a healthier dynamic.

Moving on, we're exploring the importance of setting boundaries in relationships. Whether it's you...

Can you remember the boundless optimism, love, and sense of purpose you felt as a child? As we grow up, sometimes those qualities get overshadowed by the harsh realities of life, and we may find ourselves questioning if we've grown up the "right" way. Join me in this heartfelt episode as I share my personal journey from a youthful dreamer to a hardened adult, and how rediscovering childlike qualities has transformed my outlook on life.

Growing up is a complex process that doesn't necessarily mean completely abandoning the qualities that made us who we were as children...