podcasts – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

In which Banshee is chronically hapless; the team gets new costumes (again); Chamber is a self-fulfilling prophecy; toddlers will sell you out in a hot minute; Moira MacTaggert is definitively not in; we are frustrated by excessive ambiguity; and it’s not Rashômon, but it’ll do.

X-PLAINED:

In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

In which t’ieves and assassins dress to impress; Bishop returns; Rogue and Carol Danvers have a moment; and the revolution will be stored on compact disc.

X-PLAINED:

In which an event begins; Earth is problematic; the Phoenix Force is an unreliable narrator; Max Power just wants to make safer party drugs; and we miss Opal Tanaka.

X-PLAINED:

In which we sure did that.

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: Maximum Security!

Special thanks to:

In which we meet some delightful monsters; Cannonball is a man who knows how to wear overalls; Domino is the Leslie Knope of X-Force; red liquid babies deserve love, too; and not all British authors know each other.

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: Apparently we’ve made 500 of these?

In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!

Check out the visual companion to this...

In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!

Check out the visual companion to...

In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one...

In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.

X-PLAINED:

In which we record live from the Library of Congress; time travel complicates everything; X-Men is a fundamentally queer narrative; we attempt to summarize a lot of history very fast; and when identities are politicized, claiming them becomes a political act.

X-PLAINED:

In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.

X-PLAINED:

Join us for an X-beginner-friendly, mutant-metaphor-focused, live episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men: presented by LC-GLOBE, the LGBTQ+ organization of employees of the Library of Congress!

When: 6:00 PM on Friday 06/06/25

In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.

X-PLAINED:

In which we embark on a Great Work; it remains hard to be Alex Summers; and it’s also always Inferno on Earth-1298.

X-PLAINED:

In which we go back to the future of Generation X; Jay once again gets pedantic about lettering; Generation X takes on the carceral state; we take a deep dive into the late ‘90s; Jubilee does her best Nick Fury; and superpowers should be noisier.

X-PLAINED:

In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.

X-PLAINED:

In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.

X-PLAINED:

In which we check in on Nate Grey; yet another Madelyne Pryor is not what she seems; dead men tell tales; there are a lot of Canadians out there; and Nate gets a makeover.

X-PLAINED:

In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.

X-PLAINED:

In which we remain adamant pro-POG advocates; Artie and Leech have adventures; Firestar and Emma Frost get some resolution; Santa Claus may or may not be the avatar of Cyttorak; Black Tom Cassidy exceeds expectations; and Monet has vampire problems.

X-PLAINED:

Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)

In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour.

X-PLAINED:

Classic (x2). (Warlock #2)

In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really read the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

Because reality is full of things, the Winter Special is… not quite ready. But it will be in a week, and we think you’re going to love it! Apologies for the delay and we’ll see you then!

In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve co...

In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!

The vi...

In which St. Croix History reminds us of a Martian with a big butt; Penance’s escape is ambiguous; Avengers Academy Infinity Comic successfully reinvents Emplate; you should not learn to flirt from Vanilla Ice; Jubilee fires two fireworks blasts into the air whilst going aaahhh; and we go in through the ears.

X-PLAINED:

In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED: