Stowe talks

More and more unmarried couples and friends are buying houses together, but the move comes with potentially serious financial risks. 

In this episode, Matt & Liza explain the importance of how a property is legally owned, the risks unmarried couples face and the legal options available to protect yourself financially if the love bubble bursts.  

From Joint Tenants to a Declaration of Trust, this podcast is a must-listen for anyone looking to buy a house with a partner, friend, or family member. 

00:38 Statistics on unmarried couples in the UK

01:15  The total myth of t...

Going to the family court can be overwhelming, and cause high levels of stress, fear and confusion. Learning how to prepare and understand what will happen can help reduce anxiety and build resilience to navigate the day and deal with unexpected issues along the way.

Leading divorce consultant Rhiannon Ford joined hosts Matt & Liza for this episode to share her tips and advice on how to prepare emotionally and practically for a family court hearing.

00:38 Introductions to Rhiannon 

01:24 What do people fear about the family court? 

02:58 The different types of family co...

Debts can add a layer of extra stress and complication to couples trying to navigate a divorce. What happens if one person builds up debt during the marriage? Who is responsible for the debt? What about loans from the bank of Mum & Dad? 

In this episode, Matt & Liza explore the role of debt in divorce, the different types of debt and how they are viewed, who has responsibility for debits, the approach of the family courts and the link between debts and economic abuse. 

00:00 Debt is often a part of divorce

01:09 Can you ge...

Inheritance can be one of the most emotive and complex elements of a financial settlement in divorce. 

So how is it usually dealt with? The bottom line is that inheritance isn't always safe in divorce, and there's no simple yes or no answer. 

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza explore the tricky issue of inheritance and divorce, how the family court considers it and different ways to protect inheritance when you are married. 

00:30 The tricky issue of inheritance
00:50 How does the family court view inheritance?
01:00 Matrinomal v non-matrimonial assets
01:41 What is...

Parental responsibility is a legal term that covers the rights of a parent to be involved in making decisions in the best interests of their children. 

But it’s not just about Mum and Dad - it's possible for someone to have parental responsibility for a child without being their legal parent, and for a legal parent to not have parental responsibility.

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza break down the myths surrounding parental responsibility, who can we have it, and who can’t, if you can lose parental responsibility, and what legal options are avail...

Domestic abuse is complex, multi-layered, and all consuming for survivors. For those in minority communities, it can present further unique challenges that need specialist support. 

Domestic Abuse Consultant, specialising in post-separation abuse and creator of You Don’t Own Me, Lucy Wade joined us to share her knowledge of the challenges faced by survivors of abuse in minority communities, and what support is available.  

If you are a victim/survivor of domestic abuse, or supporting someone else in this situation, this podcast will help. 

00:00 Welcome
00:37 Introduction to Lucy and her work 
01:44 The di...

Abusive relationships rarely start abusive. Instead, they build up over, slowly, over time, gradually changing the survivors perception of reality and sense of self.  

As our guest for this episode, domestic abuse expert and coach, Caron Kipping says: “If someone punched you in the face on your first date,  would you go back for a second date?” The answer is an obvious no, but domestic abuse slowly draws in survivors, leaving them trapped, isolated, confused and abused. 

Would you know the early signs of an abusive relationship? Take a listen as Caron explains what the red fla...

In most divorces, couples face challenges around the mortgage. From who will pay for it whilst you separate, to working out mortgage affordability for your next home. 

And with interest rates still high, a growing housing crisis and an expert predicted rocky 12-18 months ahead, we asked Charlotte Tollitt, a Mortgage Broker from Meet Margo, to join us to talk about all things mortgage and divorce. 

00:00 Introductions
01:30 Mortgages are a common issue in divorce
02:30 What happens if you don’t pay your mortgage?
04:20 Who does the bank chase for the mortgage payments?
...

The gasp factor, what should be the real headline of financial abuse, things must change and our collective responsibility…

We’re back for season 6 as we welcome leading 4PB Barrister Anita Mehta, who juggles a busy practice of complex financial remedy and children disputes with lecturing, writing and podcasting to look at how domestic abuse plays out in financial proceedings.

Co-author of the recent Resolution report on this matter, Anita takes us back to the history of how the family court has viewed domestic abuse, where we are today and makes a loud and clear call...

In April 2024, changes were made to the Family Procedure Rules to encourage more people to use non-court-based methods to resolve financial issues arising from divorce or over their children. 

Matt & Liza discuss these changes and share their (sometimes very different) opinions on what they think about the changes, and what does it actually mean for separating couples?

00:30 What are the Family Procedure Rules? 
01:01 What were the changes? 
01:31 What is non-court dispute resolution (NCDR)?
03:30 What are the positives of the changes? And how will it work in practice?07:00 How are the family courts app...

In the second part of this episode, Dr Supriya McKenna, a highly experienced specialist narcissism expert, continues to share her advice and practical tools and techniques to help people prepare to leave a narcissist. (You can access the first part of this episode here.)

We pick the conversation back up as Dr Supriyas shares her advice on preparing financially, before exploring how to stay safe online, saving previous communications, and keeping personal items safe. Before closing with her top tops. Again, Matt & Liza share their insight into how the law can help and the pitfalls to avoid. 

In the first of this two-parter episode, Matt and Liza were delighted to be joined again by Dr Supriya McKenna, one of the leading experts in the field of narcissism, to discuss how to prepare to leave a narcissist.

Dr Supriya shares her deep knowledge of narcissism, why it is harder to leave one, including hoovering and gaslighting, finding the right lawyer, and practical tips on the preparations needed to end your relationship. Meanwhile, Matt & Liza share legal insight, the options available to you and the pitfalls to avoid.

00:00 Introductions
02:34 Why is it harder...

In this bite size episode, hosts Matt & Liza turn their attention to another popular question that clients frequently ask: How much does it cost to get divorced? 

They talk through typical costs, the different ways to reduce costs, for example reaching agreement together or using mediation, and what you can do personally to save money during the process. 

All in just under 8 minutes.

00:33 The cost of the divorce application 
01:15 How much does a typical financial settlement cost? 
02:05 What are the ways to keep costs down and save money?  
04:59 What can you d...

In this bite size episode, hosts Matt & Liza turn their attention to a popular question they hear from many of their clients: How long does it take to get divorced? 

They talk through the process, how long it takes, the impact of the family court, the myth of the quickie divorce, before closing on their top tips to help speed up the process as much as possible. 

All in just under 8 minutes. 

00:30 What is the process for getting divorced?
02:20 How long does it take to get divorced? 
03:10 How does the family cour...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza explore what options are available for people if their ex-partner will not respond to the initial divorce application, refuses to disclose any information, or provides incorrect or misses details when trying to resolve finances. 

They dive into your legal options so you can progress your divorce, how to track down a missing ex, the role the family court can play, managing the emotional impact and anxiety, and top tips for dealing with your ex throughout the process. 

00:30 How common is it for someone not to respond to a divorce?

Narcissism has become a popular buzzword.  But despite the interest, there are many myths that undermine the complexity and destructive impact of this personality disorder.

We were delighted to be joined again by Dr Supriya McKenna, one of the leading experts in the field of narcissism, to discuss how you can tell if you are in a relationship with a ‘real’ narcissist, and why knowing this is so important, particularly if you want to leave them.  

00:00 Introductions 
02:25 Why is it important to know that you are in a relationship with a ‘real’ narcissist?
03:05 Why are nar...

High-net-worth divorce brings its own unique challenges, especially around understanding, valuing and dividing complex earning structures, assets and pensions, often with international elements. 

In this episode, Ceri Griffiths a chartered financial planner specialising in supporting women divorcing high earners shares her advice on how to navigate the unique issues that high-net-worth divorce can bring. 

01:43 What is a high net worth divorce? 
03:40 Common power imbalances in high-net-worth marriages 
05:00 The lack of knowledge and understanding around finances 
05:40 The prevalence of narcissism in CEOs and challenges
08:55 What is the sharing principle in divorce?
10:00 The l...

You may have made the decision, or had it made for you, but however you arrived at the moment, facing a divorce can be daunting

So what should you do first? In this episode, family lawyers and hosts Matt & Liza share their tips on the most important things to do and consider before getting a divorce.

00:00 Introductions
01:00 The different scenarios
01:10 The first thing to do is take your time
03:00 Getting in the right headspace
03:29 Building your support team
05:10 Use of divorce coaches and counsellors
05:45 The role of online resources...

It is normal to face challenges in a relationship, but what happens when one, or both people, completely disconnects and thoughts turn to leaving? How do you know the right time to end a relationship?

In this episode, divorce coach Dr. Sue Palmer-Conn joined us to discuss the challenging question of whether to stay or go, including common stress points and challenges couples face, how discernment counselling can help them make a decision, and why divorce or separation can change your life for the better.

Chapters

00:00 Introductions
03:07 What is discernment...

Introducing a new partner to your kids can be complicated, and requires careful thought and planning to get it right. 

So we asked parenting and relationship coach Nichole Farrow to join us to share her advice on how to introduce a new partner, including: 

00:00 Introductions 
02:00The generation of div...

School holidays can be difficult to juggle for any parents, but for those separated and co-parenting, it can bring a whole host of additional issues. 

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza were joined by The Divorce & Separation Coach, Chloe O. to look at the best way to plan the holidays as a separated parent. 

Take a listen as they explore the challenges of planning holidays, the importance of communication, flexibility, and child-focused decision-making.  How to address objections, your legal options and the use of mediation to resolve any issues, along with practical advice for navigating the...

The family home can often be the most emotive element of a divorce. Steeped in memories, many ex-couples face the difficult decision about what to do with the house, in the short and long term. 

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza deep dive into all things property and divorce including: 

00:35 Why is the family home so important?
01:56 The legal ownership of a property - joint tenants v tenants in common
04:00 What happens if the house is in one person’s name?
06:00 The importance of Wills
07:25 Living together or moving out during the...

No longer the preserve of the ultra- wealthy, prenups, postnups and petnups are on the rise. But what are they, what can they cover, and do they stand up in court?

Take a listen as Matt & Liza dive into nuptial agreements, the advantages, the challenges, and the laws surrounding them. Along with when and how they are useful, especially for people marrying later in life, wanting to protect family assets or preserve inheritance for their kids, and when they are not. 

Conversation then moves to the rise of the petnup, how pets are viewed in d...

A staggering 95% of survivors of domestic abuse experience economic abuse, leaving them isolated, trapped, dependent and confused. 

So, we asked Tamsin Caine, a Chartered Financial Planner from Smart Divorce, to join us to look at how to recognise the signs of economic abuse and what you can do about it. 

A financial specialist in advising people going through a divorce or separation. Tamsin covers: 

Surrogacy is a wonderful way for people to build their family outside traditional norms, but it comes with legal complexities that often surprise people. 

In this episode, Matt & Liza were delighted to welcome Andrew Powell, one of the country’s leading children's law barristers from 4PB, who specialises in surrogacy law, to explore how surrogacy works in the UK and internationally. 

An expert on surrogacy and the modern family, Andrew covers: 

One in 6-7 men is a domestic abuse survivor*, but only half of male victims (49%) fail to tell anyone they are a victim. Stigma, fear, shame, misinformation and societal pressures all contribute to men suffering in silence and not reporting their perpetrator. 

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza were joined by Tom Nash, aka Mr Divorce Coach, a specialist Divorce, Separation and Family Coach, to talk through the challenges faced by men struggling and trapped in abusive relationships. 

Using his expertise and insight from supporting male clients, Tom talks about the different types of abuse, re...

Divorce and separation can be difficult for any child, but supporting teenagers through it can bring a host of different issues. 

In this episode, Matt & Liza were joined by one of the UK's leading relationship and family coaches, Nichole Farrow, as she shared her advice on how to support teenagers, including the best way to tell them, how to avoid overexposing them to what is happening, the importance of putting in boundaries, and creating a safe space to enable them to share their views. 

She also discusses role-modelling the right behaviours, showing your emotions, helping th...

Reaching a financial settlement in divorce requires people to gather a wealth of information and paperwork, so they have a clear picture of their finances and the evidence required to complete the 30-page plus daunting Form E.

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza offer practical advice to help people prepare, including where to start, what the process to reach a settlement is, the role of financial disclosure, how to complete the Form E, what information you need to gather, and what you can do if your ex won’t provide the information.

They also cover ho...

 In this episode, we welcomed Jodie Phelps, a leading Financial Planner, about the importance of, and how to achieve financial wellbeing following a divorce or separation.

We begin our chat exploring what lies beneath financial well-being, the importance of understanding your relationship with money, managing your mindset, and identifying and learning to avoid your spending triggers.

Jodie then turns to where to start when faced with managing your finances solo - don’t bury your head in the sand, get everything out on the table, take it step by step and plan, plan and plan som...

In this episode, Matt & Liza were thrilled to be joined by award-winning comedian and creator of global hit podcast and book The Breakup Monologues, Rosie Wilby, to look at the unique challenges faced by the LGBTQIA+ community during a relationship breakdown. 

Rosie shares her passion for understanding the impact of heart break, before exploring monogamy, the history of relationships in the community, the various forms of cheating, how lesbians pioneered conscious uncoupling way before Gwyneth Paltrow, and how the gay community approaches the adversity caused by separating differently. 

She explores the expectation that marriage and re...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza explore the rising popularity of DIY divorces, how and when they work well, and the common dangers and pitfalls. 

They explain what a DIY divorce is, the current online process, and the difficulties that can arise from the implications of not completing the paperwork correctly in the beginning.

They then turn to the numerous problems that can be caused by not getting legal advice on your finances, including inheritance and Wills, protecting yourself from future claims from your ex-spouse, and the dangers of ignoring any pensions, before looking at h...

In the second part of this episode, Dr Supriya McKenna, a highly experienced specialist narcissism expert, continues to share her advice and practical tools and techniques for people trying to parent alongside a narcissist. 

(You can access the first part of this episode here.)

We pick the conversation back up as she explores the role of parallel parenting and how to help children understand the narcissist behaviours and deal with the way they respond by validating their experience and emotions. 

She then continues with tips and advice on how to manage communication with th...

 In the first of this two-parter episode, Matt and Liza were delighted to be joined again by Dr Supriya McKenna, a highly experienced specialist narcissism expert, as she shares her advice and practical tools and techniques for people trying to parent alongside a narcissist. 

Building on our previous conversations (see links below to listen if you’ve not already), Dr Supriya starts by explaining what narcissistic personality disorder is, what drives them, and how this manifests in their behaviour, especially during divorce and parenting. 

She talks through how you can never co-parent with a narcissist, how t...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza explore the myth of common-law marriage and the reality of legal rights for cohabiting couples, who are now the fastest growing family type in the UK. 

They talk through the minimal legal rights of cohabiting couples compared to their married counterparts, and how to deal with issues around property and child maintenance, should a couple separate. 

They look at how cohabiting couples can protect themselves financially with a Declaration of Trust, a cohabitation agreement, and the importance of having a Will. Along with advice for unmarried people buying a pr...

In this episode, Matt & Liza look at the role a family lawyer can play to help survivors of domestic abuse, the injunction orders available, and the impact of domestic abuse on financial settlements and making arrangements for children in a divorce case.

They walk through the role of the two injunction orders available: non-molestation and an occupation order, how to apply for them, how the applications are handled in the family court, and the powers they have. 

They also talk about how allegations of domestic abuse can impact a child arrangements case, and the minimal i...

In this episode, Matt and Liza were delighted to welcome back Dr Supriya McKenna, a highly experienced specialist narcissism expert, as she shares her advice and practical tools and techniques for people rebuilding their lives after narcissistic abuse. 

Building on the conversation in our episode in Season 1 (see below to listen if you’ve not already), Supriya explores the impact of post-separation narcissistic abuse, how to parent with a narcissist (the only option is parallel parenting), building financial independence, and the importance of switching off that narcissistic supply, whatever the challenges.

She discusses the importance of...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza talk to dating coach and matchmaker Laura Buckley from Secret Alchemy to explore all things dating after divorce.

Laura talks about how to get into the mindset of dating again, the red flags to look out for (love bombing being key), the importance of knowing your boundaries and what you want, not just what you don’t want. 

Laura also shares her top tips on dating apps, how to make your profile stand out, including ensuring your photos are upfront, clear, recent and decent (definitely no animals), how to man...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza talk to Sushma Kotecha from Holistic Family Mediation & Coaching to look at how mediation can help couples work together to have a more dignified and amicable separation. 

Sushma talks about what mediation is, how it works, the process, what a MIAM is, and how it helps separating couples work through their issues, explore their options and make informed decisions about their future. 

Sushma also explains how mediation is not suitable for all couples, the red flags she looks for, and what you can do if one person is resistant to...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza talk to Certified Money Coach, Fanny Snaith, on how to best manage the drop from two salaries to one following a separation during a cost of living crisis. 

Fanny talks about the emotional responses we all have to money, the 8 different money types, and how understanding your relationship with money can help you uncover the reasons behind your spending and saving behaviours. 

She discusses the first steps to take to help you manage your finances if your relationship breaks down, and what to focus on once you are budgeting so...

In this episode, hosts Matt & Liza talk to Sue Atkins, a leading Parenting Expert, author of Divorce Journal for Kids, and Broadcaster, to look at how to best support children through all the changes that divorce brings. 

Sue talks about the best way to tell children you are separating, whatever their age, the importance of listening and communication, and the power of the narrative you tell and the language you use. 

She discusses how parents can work together, the importance of planning and creating a parenting plan, how to manage special occasions such as Christmas an...