Primary Attribute

The party re-enacts Stand By Me and goes through the woods to see a dead body.

Cool Vons knows a great shortcut. Wealthy attempts a daring rescue. Original Recipe Vons shows normal climbing is a sucker's game. Grickx knows safety is an illusion. Jyessi has maxed out Visual Calculus.

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Our 200th episode is coming up! You should write us a letter! letters@primaryattribute.com

The party makes plans to go dramatically rescue Wealthy. Meanwhile, Wealthy quietly gets a bite to eat elsewhere on the Arx.

Cool Vons swallows his terror. Wealthy covers things up. Vons delineates creatures and ingredients. Steamboat Willie remains unconscious. Jyessi calls in backup. Grickx has a schedule to keep.

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Our 200th episode is coming up! Write us letters and send them to letters@primaryattribute.com, or head to our website and use our Send A Rat form. They may be (will likely be...

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled programming to find out: What did Jyessi, Original Recipe Vons, and Grickx get up to while Wealthy and co. were out in the storm? It couldn't have been nearly as nuts as everything outside. They probably partook in only the finest art and educational activities, edifying themselves as they waited patiently for the all clear.

Jyessi breaks genre conventions. Vons offers to steal a child. Grickx floods a living room.

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Our 200th episode is coming up! You should write...

We discover the aftermath of the bloody battle. It's fine. Everything's fine. Definitely. Yep. It has to be. Right?

Wealthy's fate is revealed. Cool Vons travels there and back again. Steamboat Willie channels a sack of potatoes. Everyone is very patient with the POV split, and the CK is very grateful.

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Hey everyone, there's no new episode this week! We had some scheduling snafus and weren't able to record as originally planned. However, this just means you have some free time to get in touch with us for our 200th episode! Give us your questions, your comments, your praise, your good-natured teasing! You can write to us at letters@primaryattribute.com, or head to our website where you can use the Send Us A Rat link to submit via a rat-tastic form.

If you're craving something to listen to this week, might we recommend our backlog? If you're...

The fight with the Emissary of the Corruption charges towards its exciting conclusion! The party does their best to Just Say No to dying, even as they're already beaten, bloody, and exhausted. Their dedication is admirable. But dedication doesn't guarantee results.

Steamboat Willie powders his snout. Cool Vons has an exit plan. Aramythe takes a second look. Wealthy loses control.

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Also, our 200th episode is coming up! Send us your comments, questions, snarky jokes, whatever you like to letters@primaryattribute.com

Negotiations have broken down, mostly due to fireballs. The Corruption takes exception to this behavior and makes its displeasure known.

Wealthy goes airborne. Cool Vons gets tactical. Steamboat Willie renounces his privilege. Jyessi, Grickx, and Prime Vons probably have a very nice time off-camera.

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Also, our 200th episode is coming up! Send us your questions, comments, wild conspiracy theories, and/or heaping piles of praise! Email us at letters@primaryattribute.com

The party attempts diplomacy with a giant corrupted creature wielding a sword taller than most people. It's a bold move, I'll give them that.

Cool Vons does a cool slide. Steamboat Willie channels the Big Dog shirts of his youth. Wealthy shares a hypothesis. Jyessi plays lockdown games. Grickx gets an odd feeling. Vons has a scheduling conflict with the shoot.

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P.S. You can check out the SNL sketch we mentioned here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmd1qMN5Yo0

The party is hunkered down against the storm outside, but they can't stay in one place forever. Half the party tries to find the other half. The other half makes a break for it.

Steamboat Willie is ready to go pro. Cool Vons gets a grip. Wealthy yells "representative!" at the customer service line. Grickx cashes in on clout. Vons is basically Coco Chanel. Jyessi messages her spouses.

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The party puts on the Steamboat Willie Rescue Fun Time Revue! One portion of the party tries to escort him down the mountain, the other tries to go up to meet them, and the CK tries very hard to avoid talking to themselves.

Cool Vons pokes at pottery. Steamboat Willie sees a bird. Wealthy sneaks a peek at a diary. Grickx and Jyessi awaken. Prime Vons still slumbers.

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The party tries to find each other during a treacherous lockdown, winding their way through the wilderness of caves and old maintenance tunnels in the top portion of the mountain. But certain creatures have made their home there, and won't make it easy for them.

Steamboat Willie finds a fish. Wealthy pulls a Superman. Cool Vons is bashful. Grickx, Jyessi, and Vons sleep.

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The party pulls together as Steamboat Willie takes flight with his handmade glider. They're the sort of friends that you can call at 3 a.m. for help and you know they'll come...right?

Steamboat Willie touches the heavens. Vons snoozes. Grickx lives out a fantasy. Cool Vons goes out on the town. Jyessi piles in. Wealthy hears something.

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It's time for the party to decide how to spend those valuable hours between the end of the work day and slumber. Maybe they'll work out and do the dishes? Or go to the library to learn about abhorrent magical practices. That works too.

Vons has disparaging opinions about children. Grickx listens to the needs of the people. Jyessi asks a big question. Cool Vons spreads the good word about corn. Wealthy takes clear notes. Steamboat Willie gets some fresh air.

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The party works hard to do a good job on Grickx's first day as the new Overseer of Engineering. It's time to learn the ropes, see if the previous person left behind any good snacks in their desk, and read the employee handbook. And learn terrible secrets!

Vons pressgangs himself into service. Jyessi gatekeeps. Cool Vons learns the meaning of character. Grickx manages managing. Wealthy sweeps the room for bugs. Steamboat Willie gets creative.

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The party gets back together, and Grickx reveals his master plan to deal with the pressures of his new position. Everyone is suitably impressed and has no doubts at all. Oh, and it's time for a certain long-awaited introduction…

Grickx prepares to zag on 'em. Cool Vons bullrushes illiteracy. Jyessi dares to do better. Vons brews beautifully. Wealthy dresses up. Steamboat Willie goes out on the town.

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While Grickx cools his heels in a jail cell, the rest of the party goes with Agent Pearl to get the down low on what's been happening on the Arx since they left. Turns out, it's quite a lot.

Grickx welcomes visitors. Vons notices the missing piece. Jyessi embodies a side table. Steamboat Willie theorizes on the physics underlying the universe. Cool Vons (Gatsby) gets up to speed. Wealthy checks on old friends.

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The party's tragically split between drinking, reuniting with loved ones, and getting arrested. Life tests us all in different ways.

Wealthy insists she's got it handled. Gatsby compares and contrasts. Steamboat Willie notices something is missing. Grickx is the bigger kobold. Vons attempts introspection. Jyessi writes a note.

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Welcome, new listeners! This is the start of a new arc and we've done our best to include recaps and extra context so you can jump on here without needing to archive binge. We hope you enjoy the ride.

The party makes it back to the Arx after a slightly wonky teleport, and it's time to figure out what's happened there in the three months since they went to the ground. They head for the Fermenting Fox, Vons's brewery, to catch up. Hey, why does everyone look so sad?

Vons reunites with his sister. Grickx...

As the party heads back to the Arx, they also level up! In this episode, we go through new hit die, spells, and abilities, with lots of tangents along the way. We hope you enjoy it, and please come back next week for the start of a new arc!

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It's time for our 2024 Solstice Special, everyone! This year, we join Wealthy as she heads back to her childhood home for the holiday with family and friends. She's not feeling the spirit of the season, but maybe with a little help from her friends (and a touch of magic) the solstice spirit can bloom anew.

Wealthy vows revenge. Steamboat Willie thinks information is ethically neutral. Jyessi lifts, bro. Vons explores novel methods of snow redistribution. Grickx deals with broken glass. Gatsby is a good match.

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The crew's made their decision, risking their credits and careers in the process. Now to see if they made the right call, doomed themselves, or if the situation spins wildly out of control in a brand new direction!

Dr. Rae submits a paper. Damir sends email. Paul has a business proposition. Oz reveals his dark past.

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The party's tried their experimental cure on one subject, and now it's time to see how well it works on Shad. Fingers crossed.

Jyessi keeps a watchful eye. Vons eats nachos. Grickx counts the seconds. Wealthy remembers her training. Gatsby and Steamboat Willie observe.

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The crew is being threatened by eco-fascists! Who are also asking for the crew to trust them? These negotiations are off to a fantastic start.

Dr. Rae tries to mind meld with a rock. Damir decides on the death penalty. Oz hears the harmony of the spheres. Paul just wants to get paid.

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The story Adam mentioned was "They're Made Out of Meat" by Terry Bison. You can check it out here: https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat...

The party makes it back to the lab and it's time to do research! Half the party immediately decides research is Not For Them and wanders off to do something else.

Steamboat Willie explains what's in a name. Gatsby gets under under someone's skin. Jyessi has a discrete locker room conversation. Vons does Science! Wealthy also does Science! Grickx does Even More Science!

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The crew gets the planetoid moving back towards useful space. Do they have a plan to stop it once it's there? Eh, one thing at a time.

Paul's legend grows. Dr. Rae asks for peer review. Oz channels Scully. Damir introduces a new ISO standard unit.

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The party sets out to thoroughly explore the valley, and they find a long-forgotten place.

Wealthy uses her GE credits. Steamboat Willie doesn't need directions. Green Day Vons looks behind something. Grickx interprets. Jyessi makes connections.

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The crew is set to retreat to safety with the miners in tow. One of them does something incredibly stupid instead.

Paul forgets to mute his mic. Dr. Rae gets a 10 from the Russian judge. Oz wins at a crane game. Damir brings out the classroom TV cart.

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It's spooky season once again, and that means it's time for our Halloween special! The party finds themselves not where they're supposed to be, with their bodies transformed. The solution? Candy!

Grickx summons a horde. Jyessi makes people uncomfortable with basic facts. Wealthy sees a picture. Vons weaponizes water.

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The party's finally made it to their goal: a hidden valley teeming with bee colonies, where they can get the honey they desperately need for their attempts to cure the Corruption. They just need to find a way inside.

Steamboat Willie gets +2 to Cool. Jyessi pokes at something with a stick. Wealthy is driven mad by mysteries. Grickx throws a rock. Green Day Vons proposes a practical method of finding traps.

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It's on to the labs and the mining site, and the crew tries to stay sharp as the stress burrows into their minds. Much like a barnacle might burrow into their organs if they drop their guard for even a second!

Oz has a big heart. Paul makes a problem for Future Paul. Damir loses a piece of themselves. Dr. Rae gets unsettled by core samples.

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The party approaches the temple in Eddaru looking for answers (and maybe snacks). All they have to do is ask the right questions.

Green Day Vons finds something familiar. Jyessi has a nervous breakdown. Grickx demands a simple answer. Steamboat Willie is presumably present. Wealthy takes charge and it rules.

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The crew arrives at the infirmary to find scared miners who are desperate for help. They, of course, handle it with professionalism and in no way embarrassingly undermine their own authority.

Damir technically gets repaired. Dr. Rae has his research rudely interrupted by patients. Paul takes the scenic route rather than turning around. Oz thinks saving people should take priority over corporate interests, like a weirdo.

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The party has to take out the roc before it makes off with Wealthy in its clutches!

Jyessi takes a dust bath. Green Day Vons is thirsty. Grickx gives someone a ride. Steamboat Willie throws his sword. Wealthy hits 0% charge.

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The crew catches their breath in the administrative offices and plans what to do next. It's a shame no breather can last forever. They push on towards the infirmary, and all the dangers along the way.

Damir calculates acceptable losses. Oz gets gripped. Dr. Rae knows corporate policy. Paul scrapes the paint.

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The party faces down a roc, a hawk so enormous it eats horses as a snack. They're each significantly smaller than horses, so it'll probably just ignore them or be unable to catch them. I'm pretty sure that's how that works!

Jyessi gets slimed. Grickx does some fancy flying. Steamboat Willie provides first aid. Green Day Vons tries not to stab anyone he's not supposed to. Wealthy deals with a rich dude ignoring her contributions.

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Barnacles have invaded the mining base, and the crew heads in to rescue whoever they can! With varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Oz gets spray foam everywhere. Damir makes someone depressed. Dr. Rae says a slur. Paul struggles with doors.

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The party pushes forward into the desert in an attempt to lose the Corrupted closing in on them. They're going in with just the gear they have on them, and deserts are famously unforgiving places. How will they fare?

Green Day Vons has opinions about religion. Steamboat Willie shares and cares. Jyessi grabs a quick bite. Grickx isn't so sure about higher powers. Wealthy has a restless leg.

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The crew works on jury-rigging a giant fusion reactor into a fusion engine, and makes plans to go examine the alien ruins. Are both dangerous? Absolutely. But what's life without risk?

Dr. Rae faces resistance. Damir provides enrichment. Oz picks up and drops rocks repeatedly. Paul freshens up.

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Split into pairs and isolated among the watchtowers of the port, the party struggles to fight Corrupted creatures without their usual backup. They'll have to think on their feet to get out of this one!

Grickx slaps. Jyessi gets double-teamed. Green Day Vons puts his new skills to use. Wealthy makes swiss cheese. Green Day Grickx goes roofing. Vons presumably sits on a boat?

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Attack of the killer space barnacles! The crew fights back with bravery, wits, and guns. Okay, *one* of those. Guess which one!

Damir vibes out. Paul ponders Schrödinger's walker. Dr. Rae prioritizes. Oz does his job better than the rest put together.

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