Stepmum Space
Fairytales & scary tales about the ups and downs of life as a stepmum with Katie Harrison and guests.When Katie fell in love with a Dad of two, seven years ago, she had no idea what lay ahead of her! The last few years have been a rollercoaster of incredible highs, and painful lows. Faced with very little support and huge societal stigma, Katie found the first few years of her Stepmum journey incredibly isolating and difficult. She's now on a mission to break down the stigma surrounding stepmotherhood and normalise some of the more tricky emotions that almost all...
S6, Ep 8: The topsy turvy world of Stepmum life; In conversation with another Stepmum Coach
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Katie talks to Kristin, a Stepmum to 4 and Mum to one.
Kristin is also a life coach who works predominantly with Stepmums in the US.
Katie and Kristin cover a lot of ground in this chat, from the complicated emotions which many stepmums experience, to what to do when you have very different views to the other house, to knowing when to step in and when to step back with our stepkids.
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S6, Ep 7: 'I've learned to pick my battles'
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Katie talks to Sally, a stepmum and biomum.
Sally shares the story of her journey from being a single mum to trying to bring her family and her partner's together.
She also talks about the complexity of raising a Stepchild with additional needs.
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S6, Ep 6 - "I felt like I was going crazy!"
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TRIGGER WARNING - The death of a child is briefly mentioned.
Katie chats to Francesca, a Stepmum to two little girls.
Francesca shares how becoming a Stepmum turned her from a confident, independent woman to an anxious mess.
When Francesca met her partner she was really open to the idea of dating someone with kids and she quickly formed a strong bond with his young daughters. Several months into their relationship she moved in with him, into the old family home. With the Ex often popping by...
S6, Ep 5 - Step parenting a neuro diverse child
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Katie chats to a stepmum of three boys, one who is neurodiverse.
She shares how this has bought additional challenges and that although she loves her stepson immensely it has made it hard to form a connection at some points.
She also shares her experience of being thrown into parenting going from zero to three kids almost instantly!
Note: there will be a section added to the forum next week on step-parenting neuro diverse children.
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S6, Ep 4: "I felt my needs came second to the Exes"
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In this episode Katie chats to Charlotte, a Stepmum to a little girl.
Charlotte adores her Stepdaughter and wants to spend more time with her but sadly this isn’t possible at the moment.
Charlotte shares her feelings of being left out, and of being second best when it comes to her partner and the delicate balance she treads between the Ex and her current partner.
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S6, Ep 3: "My in laws were toxic and I didn't want my life to be like this"
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In this episode Katie talks to Helena. Helena's story should have been straight forward, her and her partner were on the same page, his ex was on the same page and the stepkids liked her... however sadly it was Helena's in laws who caused huge problems for them all - ultimately meaning Helena took the decision to cut all contact with them.
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S6, Ep 2: "I felt I had to make up for the shortcomings of My Stepkids' Mum"
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In this episode Katie talks to Jackie. Jackie has one bio child and two stepkids.
Jackie endured tough times, with her Stepson stealing from her, having to put locks on her bedroom door and treading on eggshells for several years.
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S6, Ep 1: "Home wasn't my safe space and my anxiety was in overdrive"
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**This episode contains discussions on trying to conceive and vasectomies**
In this episode Katie talks to Jen. Jen's a Stepmum to two and a bio Mum to one. Jen is more than a decade into Stepmum life and has experienced so many ups and downs during her time as a...
S5, Ep 8: Marrying a widower and having a family of SIX kids!
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In this episode Katie talks to Parm, AKA @mrssinghspirational about her journey from being a married Mum of 3, to a divorced Mum of 3, to a Stepmum to 3 children who'd recently lost their Mother!
Parm talks about how their family all became close very quickly, but amongst all the happiness, her own biological daughter really struggled with the changes and eventually made the difficult decision to go and live with her Dad.
Whilst she fully supported her daughter in doing what she felt was right for her, Parm talks about h...
S5, Ep7. "My mental health was at an all time low, had I made a BIG mistake?"
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In this episode Katie talks to Ellie, a Stepmum to two boys who had made the decision not to have biological children herself.
Ellie talks about her love for the boys and her ups and downs as a Stepmum. She shares how difficulties with BioMum took her to some really dark places and made her question whether she could continue in her marriage.
At her lowest point Ellie decided to seek counselling and coaching and she talks about how both of these have impacted her life, and how ultimately c...
S5, Ep 6. Stepmum & BioMum on the ups and downs of their relationship!
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In this episode Katie chats to Kaycie and Danielle, Stepmum and Biomum to a little girl.
They explore the ups and downs of their relationship from the difficult beginning to the peaceful friendship they now enjoy. Kaycie shares how it felt for her as a biomum having a new woman enter her daughter's life and she offers tips for Stepmums who are struggling with tricky biomums.
Danielle and Kaycie also talk about the Dad in all of this and why they prefer to leave him out of the communications!
S5, Ep 5. "This family is NOT blendable"
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In this episode Katie talks to Joanne, a bio Mum of two girls who became a Stepmum to a girl and a boy when she met her partner.
Joanne's story is twofold in that her relationship with her stepson has always been strong, as has her partner's with her daughters, but her relationship with her Stepdaughter has been really difficult, to the point where Joanne is now clear that she doesn't ever want to "blend" her family.
Joanne and Katie talk about parenting styles, how to manage life when...
S5, Ep 4. From affairs to friendship
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Our second male to be a guest on Stepmum Space is Tom Nash AKA @mrdivorcecoachuk.
Tom tells his story of moving from marriage, to an affair, to separation, recoupling with his new partner and how he built his blended family and created a strong relationship with his Ex Wife and her new partner... who happens to be his partner's Ex.... (you might need a pen & paper to keep up!)
Tom offers candid advice from his personal and professional experience on all things separation, divorce and "blending families" . He also t...
S5, Ep 3. "Why was she good enough to marry but I'm not?"
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Trigger warning: Serious illness & baby loss
Katie chats to Elizabeth, a 25 year old Stepmum of two young boys, about her journey as a Stepmum so far.
Elizabeth shares how she finds it hard having so much of her life and her future affected by her partner's previous life choices. She talks about feeling like she can't move forwards with her life and the next stages because her partner's first experience of marriage has left him not feeling ready to do it again.
She talks about h...
S5. Ep 2. "I didn't get a say in my Stepdaughter coming to live with us"
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In this episode Katie talks to Hayley, a bio mum and stepmum and all round supermum!
Hayley talks about how moving from her simple life as a single Mum of two kids was a challenge with all the complexities that stepfamily life brings.
She talks about the problems the children had adapting to the new set up and how difficult her relationship was with her eldest Stepdaughter when her Stepdaughter came to live with them
Hayley and Katie discuss the importance of mental health and their experiences...
S5. Ep 1. Being a Stepmum for the second time, and maintaining a relationship with Stepchildren when your couple relationship ends
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**Content warning - in this episode we talk about miscarriage and the emotions around not being able to become a birth Mum**
In this episode Katie talks to Jayne. Jayne was a Stepmum for many years to two children. When her marriage broke down Jayne's primary concern was maintaining a good relationship with her Stepchildren, who by then were adults.
Jayne and Katie talk about this and the role her Stepkids played in her life.
Jayne bravely shares her experience of trying to become a...
S4, Ep 8. When your partner undermines you, fussy eaters and other parenting issues - with Sue Atkins, parenting expert
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In this episode Katie talks to parenting expert Sue Atkins.
Katie and Sue discuss common Step-parenting issues and how to navigate them and Sue shares her tried and tested tips for fussy eaters, kids who won't sleep in their own bed and (of course) grumpy teenagers!
Sue answers listener questions candidly and with good humour!
This is the last episode in season 4, please subscribe to be notified when the new season launches or follow on instagram @stepmumspace or at www.stepmumspace.com
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S4, Ep 7. Being a Stepmum on Mothers Day
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**Please note this episode may be sensitive for those who are triggered by Mothers Day. It contains varying stories of different experiences**
In this episode Katie shares messages from listeners about what Mothers Day means to them. She shares stories from those who find Mothers Day difficult, stressful, painful as well as those who love it and look forward to it.
This episode is made up from the variety of messages Katie received and we hope you like it!
The illustrator Katie mentions in the show is @b...
S4, Ep 6. "I wanted to read all the messages"
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In this episode Katie chats to Elizabeth*
In the early days of Elizabeth's relationship with her Husband, his Ex was very high conflict, and went out of her way to try to prevent Elizabeth from forming a bond with her stepson. Despite this, Elizabeth and her stepson did form a strong connection and have always got on extremely well.
After many difficult situations , including Elizabeth being reported as a safeguarding risk by The Ex, Elizabeth's husband finally put his foot down and the drama with The Ex stopped.
S4, Ep 5. A bio-Mum's side of the story
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In this episode Katie talks to Elizabeth*.
Elizabeth is a bio Mum to 3 kids who's Dad is now in a relationship with someone else.
In this conversation Elizabeth shares her experience of being the bio mum in a separated family. She talks about the difficulties of her ex Husband not being open about his new relationship, her shock at receiving a legal letter accusing her of harassing behaviour and how it's hard to hear of her children having new experiences that she hasn't been part of.
Elizabeth a...
S4, Ep 4. "My stepson has two different lives, his Mum and I are SUCH different people!"
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In this episode Katie talks to Becky. Becky is a Stepmum to a boy as well as being a bio mum to two young girls.
Becky has always had a clear idea of the type of parent she wants to be and as she met her stepson when he was 18 months she has had a big role in shaping his life.
Becky talks about the difficulties of having complete parental autonomy over her daughters whilst not having the same for her stepson. She talks about the pull of how s...
S4, Ep 3. "I was failing as a Stepmum"
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In this episode Katie talks to Nietta.
Nietta shares her story of becoming a Stepmum to four kids from two bio Mums. She brought two of her own biological children into the relationship and she talks about how her experiences of bringing up her own children and her positive experience of co-parenting with her ex Husband made her naive to what Stepmumming would entail.
Nietta explains how she constantly felt she had to prove herself as a Stepmum, to those around her as well as herself. She courageously shares...
S4, Ep 2. "I'm Tim, and I was a Disney Dad"
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In this episode Katie talks to Tim... (Yes, she let a man on the show!)
Tim shares his experience of having a stepmum, and that of his daughter having a Stepmum.
Tim is frank, funny and extremely honest about the rollercoaster of emotions he went through and how he found it difficult to balance his role as a Dad, and that of a partner in a stepfamily situation.
He talks about how he had to face some uncomfortable truths about what his parenting was costing his family, and...
S4, Ep 1. Being more of a parent than Bio Mum or Dad!
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In this episode Katie talks to Sam*.
Sam is Stepmum to an 8 year old girl and despite Sam's stepdaughter having a bio Mum and Dad, Sam picks up most of the childcare and most of the "mumming" work.
Sam chats about how her and her partner's differing views on childcare caused conflict between them and how as time went on she realised he hadn't been totally transparent about the story he'd told about his parenting style!
Sam shares the struggles of becoming a Stepmum and the conflict o...
S3, Ep 8. Marrying a widower, and being part of an extended family who won't accept you
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In this episode Katie talks to Jane*
Jane's husband is a widower and Jane is a stepmum to a 13 year old daughter.
Jane and Katie chat about the complexities of dating, and marrying a widower.
We discuss navigating creating a new home and family, whilst keeping Jane's stepdaughter's mum's memory alive.
We talk about how Jane and her stepdaughter's relationship has developed over time, how Jane is really clear she isn't trying to replace her stepdaughter's Mum and how she's had to teach her Husband not to...
S3, Ep 7. Doing all the "Mum" work but not having the "Mum" label - majority stepmumming and the emotions around it
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In this episode Katie talks to Connie, Connie has majority custody of her stepdaughter and enjoys a close relationship with her.
Connie and Katie chat about the differing relationships with step and bio kids and how jealousy and resentment towards bio mum can be crippling!
A great conversation, thank you Connie!
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S3, Ep 6. The reluctant Stepmum - When you wish your partner didn't have kids
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In this episode Katie talks to Sarah*
Sarah describes herself as "not particularly child friendly" and actively did NOT want to date someone with children, however when a casual fling turned into love she found herself suddenly dealing with the prospect that the guy she'd fallen for was recently separated with three young children.
Sarah shares openly how there were points she wished the children didn't exist and how she fantasised about it just being her and her husband living a life of travel and romance. She also talks...
S3, Ep 5. Coping with a high conflict Ex Wife
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Katie chats to Rachel*
Rachel is Stepmum to a little boy who she describes as "the light of her life". Since she started a relationship with her partner they've been subjected to frequent and unfair criticism from his ex, culminating in her involving social services when Rachel and her partner decided to stand up to the Ex.
Rachel shares her story and talks about how she's managed to stay positive, focus on her own family and not lower herself to the tit for tat that can often happen in...
S3, Ep 4. Dr Maryhan (psychologist & parenting expert) answers the questions we're too scared to ask in real life for fear of being judged!
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In this episode Katie talks to parenting expert, psychologist, and host of podcast "How not to screw up your kids", Dr Maryhan
As a birth Mum and Stepmum Dr Maryhan really understands the ups and downs of stepmum life and answers a variety of questions from listeners. She doesn't shy away from the tough stuff and we explore topics such as:
- Should you correct your step kids when bio-mum tells lies about you?
- What to do if you don't even like your step kids?
- Wh...
S3, Ep 3. Choosing happiness! Getting intentional about what you give your energy to as a Stepmum
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In this episode Katie talks to Katrina.
Katrina shares her experiences of being a stepmum in her 40s. She talks about bonding with her stepdaughter in spite of the birth Mum's negativity and she shares how she has got really intentional about her life as a Stepmum, choosing carefully what to give her energy to.
We also discuss how being a stepmum when your partner and stepchild are from different cultures can have it's own unique challenges.
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S3, Ep 2. "You don't have to be the hero. Ask for what you want and LOOK AFTER YOURSELF!" Lessons from a Stepmum with 20 years experience!
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In this episode Katie talks to Helen, a stepmum veteran with 20 years experience!
Helen now enjoys a great relationship with her adult step kids and her and her husband are stronger than ever.
Helen shares how she hid her feelings of jealousy, anger and resentment over the years, how she wishes she'd done a lot of things differently and how she's finally learnt to be a bit more compassionate with herself.
We also talk about the importance of asking for what you want and putting your needs...
S3, Ep 1. A narcissistic bio-mum and why nobody wins in court
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In this episode Katie talks to Lucy*
Lucy shares her powerful story of going through the court process with a bio Mum with multiple personality disorders.
We talk about the importance of focusing on your relationship with your partner, knowing your truth, and how to handle some really tricky stepfamily situations.
Thank you Lucy, you are a strong, inspiring and wonderfully kind woman!
Please note this episode contains discussions of emotional, psychological and physical abuse.
*not her real name
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S2, Ep 8. Using your mindset to improve your Stepmum journey
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In this episode Katie talks to Kate Hunter. Kate is an Executive Coach who specialises in helping women in leadership to use their mindset to positive effect.
As well as her professional experience Kate also has experience of being in a relationship with someone with children. In this conversation Kate offers practical advice and techniques for managing anxiety, creating and maintaining boundaries and working through anger, jealousy and resentment.
If you're a struggling Stepmum or someone who cares about a stepmum and you want to improve your happiness this...
S2, Ep 7. Different parenting styles, and not feeling loved by your stepchildren
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Katie talks to Mia* who became a Stepmum to two boys at the age of 46. Mia spent her professional life working with children and having not had children of her own she was excited to become a Stepmum. Things didn't go quite as Mia had hoped and she has struggled with the feeling of not being loved or valued by her Stepsons.
*not her real name
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S2, Ep 6. Going to court and coming out the other side
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Katie talks to Anna*, a Stepmum of two boys who also has two younger sons with her husband.
Anna found herself involved in the court process when her husband's ex tried to gain custody of their stepchildren. In this episode she talks through the court process itself, the impact it had on her, her husband and her stepchildren and what happened after the court verdict was reached.
*Not her real name.
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S2, Ep 5. Stepping back - rejection, fall outs & lack of control
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Katie talks to Lucy about the differing feelings towards her stepkids and her two 'ours' babies.
Lucy's babies came along very soon into her relationship and we explore the impact of this on her stepchildren as well as managing the two family dynamics, the 'ours' family of 4 and the 'whole' family of 6 which each exist 50% of the time in Lucy's home. Lucy shares her thoughts on house rules, stepping back, lack of control as a stepmum and how to come back from arguments.
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S2, Ep 4. A controlling Ex & a stepdaughter caught in the middle
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In this episode Katie talks to Alice*. Alice vowed never to date a man with children however in her twenties she fell in love with a Dad of a 5 year old and has spent the last 4 years on the stepmum rollercoaster!
Alice has a good relationship with her stepdaughter but has struggled with her partner's Ex having a huge amount of control over all their lives and refusing to accept Alice's role in her step-daughter's life.
Alice also shares how hard she's found it having no say and how he...
S2, Ep 3. Experiencing Infertility as a Stepmum
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**Please note this content may be triggering for some listeners. Whilst Emily does have a baby we do cover infertility and IVF as topics**
Katie talks to Emily about her experiences of going through infertility and IVF whilst undergoing a challenging journey as a stepmum to four children.
Emily talks about her feelings of anger, resentment and jealousy as month after month she was not getting pregnant but had to put on a brave face and look after her partner's children.
Katie and Emily talk about the...
S2, Ep 2. Grief & Growth; becoming a Stepmum after loss
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In this episode Katie talks to Ami.
Ami became a stepmum when she met a new partner after losing her first husband to cancer.
Ami shares her journey so far through the grief of losing her husband at a young age, to becoming a stepmum and being embroiled in a "tug-of-war" situation she would never have expected.
She also talks about the parallels between the grief she felt after her husband passed away and her feelings as a stepmum, grieving for the life she thought she would have.
S2, Ep 1. When your home is a war zone! Boundaries, Anxiety & Parental Alienation
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In this episode Katie talks to Jess, A stepmum of a 14 year old girl who also has a biological daughter of 8.
Jess wanted to create a happy home for their family but struggled when her stepdaughter pushed back against any of the rules which were put in place. Her stepdaughter's Mum assumed the "best friend" role and appeared to undermine what Jess and her husband were trying to do at every opportunity.
Following years of being criticised no matter what she tried, the anxiety took it's toll on Jess a...
