The Autism Mom Coach

In this episode, autism coach and solo parent Lisa Candera—also known as The Autism Mom Coach—breaks down a question nearly every autism parent wrestles with:

Am I expecting too much or not enough from my child with autism?

Through a real-life story from one of her private coaching clients, Lisa illustrates the emotional push-pull autism moms face when deciding whether to stretch their child or simply let them enjoy the moment. She explores the hidden fear that often drives the urge to do more, and how that fear can overshadow meaningful progress.

In Episode 165, Lisa Canera examines "the space between" - the developmental gap parents observe between their autistic children and neurotypical peers. Drawing from her experience with her teenage son Ben and insights from her coaching practice, Lisa offers practical guidance on responding effectively when this gap becomes more apparent. She provides a balanced perspective on processing emotions rather than defaulting to additional interventions or self-blame.

What You'll Learn

In this quick episode, I share a few thoughts on the recent autism headlines—from the latest prevalence data to RFK Jr.’s controversial comments about autism—and how these moments shine a light on the deeply different experiences within our own community.

This is not a political take. It’s a reminder that autism parenting doesn’t look the same for every family—and that true acceptance starts with making space for each other’s stories, even when they differ from our own.

🎧 Listen now.

Are you ready to get the support you need and dese...

Discover how to navigate public meltdowns, reduce anxiety, and heal from the trauma of feeling constantly judged.

In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach, we unpack the PTSD of being “on display” as the parent of a child with autism.

Episode Summary

Public meltdowns can trigger deep emotional distress for both the child and the parent. Prolonged exposure to judgmental stares, unsolicited advice, and sudden confrontations often leads to anxiety, hypervigilance, and feelings of fear or helplessness. Drawing from real-life events, this episode shines a light on why these experiences stay with us...

It’s April—Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month—and today, we’re talking about what autism acceptance really looks like in real life.

Have you ever felt like all eyes are on you when you're in public with your child? Whether it’s the school drop-off line, the grocery store, or waiting in line at Chipotle, those moments when your child’s behavior stands out can feel like you’re center stage in a performance you never auditioned for.

In this episode, I share my own experience of what it means to be on display as the parent...

Have you ever had teachers insist your child is thriving at school, yet at home, they fall apart?

This episode explores autism masking—when autistic children hide their natural behaviors to appear neurotypical. Learn why masking happens, the heavy emotional and sensory toll it takes, and practical steps you can take to support your child.

In this episode, you'll discover:

My blood boils every time I see it—the IEP trap. It usually shows up as a proud post from an autism parent:

“My child is doing so well that the school reduced their IEP support!”

Sounds like progress, right? Wrong.

The harsh reality is this: a child’s progress is not a reason to remove supports—it’s proof that those supports are working. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

Your child screams, ignores you, or lashes out—and it feels personal. But here’s the truth: it’s not about you. Their behavior is a reflection of what’s happening in their nervous system, not a measure of their respect or love for you.

 In this episode , I’ll teach you how to:

Are school struggles leaving you feeling defeated and overwhelmed as an Autism parent? You’re not alone. In this episode, I talk with Rachael, an Autism mom and my coaching client, who transformed her own experience of her child’s school challenges in just a few weeks. By changing how she thought and felt about behavior struggles, bus issues, and meltdowns, she went from feeling ashamed and exhausted to confident and in control—without changing her son or his school.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

I’m sure you’ve realized by now, no matter how hard we try, we can’t control our children’s behaviors. However, we can choose how we want to think about them. That might not sound particularly powerful, but trust me when I say it’s a real gamechanger.

We all wanted our kids to talk.

We persisted, we prayed, and we paid for them to learn this skill.

And now… they have it.

But sometimes, that means hearing words that **sting**.

“I hate you!”

“That was terrible.”

“You’re annoying.”

After all that effort to help them communicate, **this** is what we get? It can feel like a punch to the gut.

But here’s what I want you to remember: *it’s not pe...

Many of my clients have had this moment: “Wait… I think my husband is autistic.”Maybe it’s how literal he is. Maybe he hates socializing, disappears at family gatherings, or doesn’t pick up on emotional cues. And then there’s this—when you say *“I’m fine”*… *he actually believes you.

At first, it’s a relief—finally, an explanation! But then comes the frustration, the sadness, the overwhelm. What does this mean for your relationship? For your emotional connection? For the life you imagined?

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

In this week's episode, I am sharing with you one of my favorite poems.

It is called “The Gift” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a clinical psychologist and author who teaches that children **aren’t here for us to "fix"—they are here to teach us**.

And who knows this more than Autism parents?

Tune in now to hear The Gift and how you can apply it to your Autism parenting journey today.

The Gift

Dr. Shefali Tsabary

In this episode, I’m answering a listener’s question: How can I teach my child patience—and how can I become a more patient parent? Patience isn’t something we’re born with—it’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned and improved with intention. But here’s the key: If you want to teach your child patience, you need to model it first.

I’ll walk you through practical strategies to:

Ever find yourself running through worst-case scenarios like, “What if my child has a meltdown in public?” or “What if I’m missing something critical?” This is anticipatory anxiety. It’s that relentless “what if” loop that keeps you stuck in fear, bracing for problems that haven’t even happened yet.

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mom Coach, I’m breaking down what anticipatory anxiety really is, how it shows up in your life, and why it’s stealing your energy. Plus, I’ll teach you a powerful strategy called positive projection to stop the cycle and start parent...

In this episode, we dive into the hidden costs of walking on eggshells as an Autism parent. I share my personal experience and insights from working with families across the country who struggle with this issue.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/151

I'm shining a bright light on what it really means to walk on eggshells as an Autism parent. I share insights on how this impacts both you and your child, and most importantly, I provide actionable strategies to help you break free from this draining cycle. Get ready to reclaim your confidence and learn how to parent from a place of calm and stability.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/150

Learn how to identify the limiting beliefs and stories that are holding you back, and how to reframe your thinking to find the opportunities for growth and progress. I also share some of the ways I help my coaching clients use reflection to create new patterns and strategies for themselves and their children. If you're ready to leave regret behind and embrace a fresh perspective, this episode is for you!

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/149

I revisit the important topic of how coaching changes everything, helping you make the progress in your life that you really want to see. Tune in this week to discover how coaching changes the game for Autism parents. I share my own story of finding a coach who truly understands Autism and my experience as a Special Needs parent, and you’ll learn the foundational tools that helped me really embrace what coaching has to offer.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/148

Learn how to step back from emotionally charged moments and view them from a more lighthearted, observer's perspective. This emotional distancing tactic, rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy, can help reduce stress, create space between you and the situation, and empower you to respond intentionally rather than react emotionally as an Autism parent.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/147

I’m here to validate your experience with holiday GOMO and share some strategies to help you cope. Learn tips for honoring your feelings, redefining what matters for your family, connecting with people who get it, limiting social comparisons, and celebrating your wins. My goal is to help you have a holiday season that works for you and your child, even if it looks different from the Hallmark version.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/146

I explore why people give us unwanted comments, anecdotes, or approaches to discipline, and how it can make us feel as Autism parents. Hear the power of responding proactively in these situations, why setting firm boundaries is vital, and my top tips for protecting your energy and having your own back as the expert on your child.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/145

In this episode, I share my tips for not just surviving, but thriving during the holiday stretch as an Autism parent. I help you understand why this time of year is so challenging for our kids, and what you can do to prepare yourself and your child for the ups and downs of the season.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/144

Tune in this week to learn what gratitude masking is and how to stop doing it. You’ll learn exactly where gratitude masking is making your life harder as the parent of a child with Autism, and I share practical tips to help you stop weaponizing gratitude against yourself.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/143

Hear my personal experience of navigating outings with my son, and how social stories became a game-changer in preparing him for new experiences with confidence. Learn what social stories are, why they can be incredibly effective, and how they help children understand what to expect in specific situations.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/142

Tune in this week as I talk about how to handle those moments when it feels like you're the center of attention as an Autism parent and everyone is watching. I share strategies for staying calm, focusing on your child, and even educating others in the process.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/141

Tune in this week as I share a powerful personal story illustrating the importance of staying in your own lane, both literally and figuratively. Learn practical strategies for swerving back into your own lane and supporting your child's emotional growth in the process.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/140

Learn the top three mistakes parents make during meltdowns and simple antidotes that will help you respond intentionally, and how, by avoiding these pitfalls, you can create a more peaceful and supportive environment for your child.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/139

Hear why Googling Autism is the favorite pastime of all Autism parents and my thoughts on why you should stop. You’ll learn how it often undermines your sense of confidence and control. I offer questions that will help you gain awareness of why you’re doing it, how it’s impacting you, and how you can make more mindful decisions about how much and what type of information you consume. 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/138

Learn how to rewire your brain, reduce your anxiety, and show up as a calmer, more effective parent. In this replay of one of my early podcast episodes, I dive deep into the cognitive distortion of catastrophizing. I explain what it is, why we do it, and why we mistakenly believe it's useful. Most importantly, I share practical strategies to interrupt the catastrophizing loop when you find yourself in it. 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/137

How often do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, only to end up feeling worse than before? As Autism moms, we turn to social media for support, connection, and resources. But if we're not careful, it can quickly become a source of stress, comparison, and negativity.

Listen in this week to hear the toll scrolling on social media can have on your experience as an Autism parent, and how our brains are wired to compare ourselves to others. You’ll hear practical strategies that will help you reclaim your peace of mind, and my top ti...

While we may not be able to eliminate stress completely, there are sneaky habits that many of us have fallen into that unnecessarily add fuel to the fire. By bringing awareness to these patterns and making small shifts, you can lighten your mental load and find more ease in your daily life. Tune in this week to learn how to identify where your stress is coming from, some simple strategies to reduce stress, and find out how to get involved with Stress Less Octoberfest.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/135

Learn practical strategies you can implement right away to respond to meltdowns with more compassion and confidence. From morning routine struggles to self-injurious behaviors, I cover a range of meltdown situations that many Autism families face and what you can do to effectively support your child. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/134

Discover practical strategies to either avoid, interrupt, or shorten the duration and intensity of your meltdown hangovers. Learn how to show up as the best version of yourself for your child, and I give you actionable advice to help you break free from the grip of meltdown hangovers and find a sense of calm and resilience. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/133

Uncover the common signs of meltdown hangovers, understand how long you can expect them to last, and get questions you can ask yourself to identify your specific symptoms. Stay tuned for part two next week, where you’ll learn actionable steps to reduce the intensity and duration of meltdown hangovers.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/132

I walk you through how to create your own Response Barometer with specific strategies for dealing with each level of your child’s Behavior Barometer. Learn how to make effective decisions ahead of time, allowing you to respond to your child in a way that serves both of you.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/131

Learn how to create your own customized Behavior Barometer. I’ll walk you through why this tool is so powerful for building your confidence as an Autism parent. With a Behavior Barometer, you'll gain perspective on which situations are truly significant and be equipped with an objective framework to guide your response, even when you feel triggered.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/130

If you're walking on eggshells around your child and it doesn't feel like it's helping, tune in this week to discover what to do instead. I explain the cause and impact of walking on eggshells around your child, framed through the CBT model, and show you how to take back control next time you find yourself in this situation.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/129

Discover why your child's meltdowns are informative and how to learn from these meltdowns instead of fearing them. I show you how to get curious instead of emotional when things get hard, and you'll learn a powerful step-by-step process for showing up with objectivity when your child is melting down.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/128

Tune in this week to discover my burnout buster for Autism moms. I show you how all the visible and invisible labor of being an Autism parent leads to burnout, share the value of saying no strategically, and break down a simple technique you can try to help you say no when it serves your well-being the most.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/127