Remembering A Life

Katey Houston from Return Home in Auburn, Washington, joins us as we dig into the topic of natural organic reduction, commonly referred to as human composting. This relatively new form of disposition offers a unique option for people who want to return their bodies to the earth after they die and offers meaningful opportunities for family and friends to say goodbye to a loved one.

Nicholas Welzenbach grew up in funeral service but as a young person he pursued his passions of surfing and skateboarding, convinced being a funeral director was not for him. But the profession kept drawing him back in. Now, as managing partner of Darling Fischer Funeral Homes in California, he joins us to talk about his experiences as a funeral director and why funerals are as relevant as ever.

Every year, people who are incarcerated die in prison, often without the compassionate hospice care that would be expected in other environments. Laura Musselman, Fernando Murillo, and the rest of the team from the Humane Prison Hospice Project are working to change that through an innovative program that trains incarcerated individuals to provide end-of-life care to their peers who are dying.

Richard Schoeller has served grieving families and individuals throughout his professional life, initially as a funeral director and now, since the late 1990s, as a certified medium. Learn how he realized he had this special gift and how he shares information that has helped people move forward following a loss.

Freddie Powell, a funeral director in Salford, England, doesn't fit the stereotype of a funeral director. As a participant on the #1 reality show Love Is Blind UK, he challenged the notion that funeral professionals are grim and depressing. Listen for the inside scoop on how the women on the show reacted to Freddie's profession and how the show made him the UK's most eligible funeral director.

Cemeteries are bursting with history and, as we found out on a recent visit to Forest Home Cemetery in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, also a fair amount of drama! Join cemetery docent Cyndi Kramer on a walkabout of this 175-year-old cemetery that is the final resting place of the famous and not so famous, including beer barons, ship builders and flappers.

Benny Capaul doesn’t fit the mold of what most people think of when they think of a funeral director. He feels equally at home in the embalming room or on stage doing vocals with his ska-punk rock band. He’s also a death doula, podcaster and death/grief consultant. In this episode we talk about the societal shifts that have changed how we honor the dead and why ceremony is still important.

What happens when someone is near the end of their life but they don't have family or friends to sit with them in their final days? For Tannis Dorscht, the answer is simple. She will, as a volunteer with the No One Dies Alone program, sit with someone she has never met, sometimes in complete silence, as a source of comfort and companionship as they approach the end of life.

CW: Discussion about the mass shooting at Columbine High School

Chuck Bowman and John Horan were funeral directors at Horan & McConaty Funeral Home on April 20, 1999, when two assailants killed 13 people at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. They, Jennifer McBride, Director of Grief Support and Community Education, and coworkers helped seven families say goodbye to their loved ones.

Tim Purves, Chairman and owner of William Purves Funeral Directors in Edinburgh, managed the Scottish element of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral. From the initial days at Balmoral Castle where The Queen died to the carefully managed boarding of a London-bound aircraft, Tim had the honor of accompanying The Queen on her final journey. This is a fascinating behind-the-scenes conversation.

Darnell Lamont Walker, Emmy-nominated television writer, content creator, filmmaker, healer, and death doula. His credits include writing for children’s programming, including Blue’s Clues & You and Karma’s World; and work as a filmmaker for Seeking Asylum, Outside the House, and Set Yourself on Fire. In this conversation we talk about his work as a death doula and grief in the Black community.

Every day, Brad Wolfe, founder and executive director of Reimagine, helps people face adversity and loss, and channel the hard parts of life into meaningful action. Inspired by his grandparents’ experiences and survival during the Holocaust, Brad shares their story and how it led him to the impactful work he does today. 

TW: Episode includes descriptions of experiences in WWII concentration camps. 

To grieve is often to feel ungrounded. The ritualistic aspects of yoga, however, can help us adjust to an environment in which our loved one is now absent by providing a safe place of belonging in which to work through the pain of loss. In this episode, yoga teacher Meg Galarza and grief therapist Elizabeth Lewis guide us in starting a yoga practice that will help us move forward in grief.

After a mass-fatality event, families of individuals who have died are looking for many answers. Often, their most pressing question is, "Where is my loved one?" Recovering remains can be difficult and time-consuming; often, disaster teams are deployed to help. Tim Schramm, owner and CEO of Howe-Peterson Funeral Home and commander of the Michigan Mortuary Response Team is sometimes among them. 

Katarina Blom is not one to shy away from the topic of death. As co-host of Peacock’s hit show, “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning,” Katarina is passionate about helping people open up about the objects they have collected over the years, inviting them to consider how sharing or giving away some of those items might help them both clear out the clutter and establish a meaningful legacy.

Susan Reising had the story of Lola and the Tree of Life in her for decades, but it finally came to life during the pandemic when she published this beautiful children's book that helps children prepare for the death of a loved one or pet. Through the lens of a young girl, her dog, and a wise old tree, she helps children understand that while death is permanent, meaning and connections live on.

Put away your hiking boots and canoe paddles and get ready for a new kind of summer camp! After Life Mortuary Services in Memphis offers a camp that packs plenty of fun while teaching campers about cremation, restoration, serving families, and more. Funeral directors Madeline Lyles and Dana Taylor hope the experience opens up a world of possibilities for the young people who participate.

No two people grieve alike, but an autistic adult may experience and react to grief in unique ways that others may not understand. Dr. Kenneth Doka and Lisa Morgan help us better understand how to support an autistic adult who is grieving and how to approach grief as an autistic adult.

Honoring the life of a loved one takes many forms as we strive to find ways to do so in a way that is reflective of their interests, values and legacy. If a loved one enjoyed spending time outdoors, a memorial tree may be the perfect tribute. Max Anderson from the Arbor Day Foundation joins us to discuss this meaningful idea for a living memorial.

Funeral directors, of course, help families after a loved one has died and guide them in planning a meaningful service so family and friends can gather to say goodbye and begin to mourn. But there’s much more to the profession than meets the eye. Funeral professionals LaShonda Martin and Timothy McLoone join us for an eye-opening discussion about the life of a funeral professional.

When Brian Rea first began jotting down notes and drawings about the things Death might do if given the time, little did he know they would become a book that would inspire so many to live their best lives. Poignant and humorous, Death Wins a Goldfish, Reflections from a Grim Reaper's Yearlong Sabbatical, invites us to make the most of the big - and more importantly, little - moments in our lives.

The grief we experience after the death of a friend can be very isolating in a society that often minimizes the significance of a non-family loss, leading to complex, disenfranchised grief. Death educator Dr. Sara Murphy joins us to talk about how we can be present and supportive when someone we care about experiences the death of a friend.

Grief can be difficult for anyone who has experienced a loss, but grief following the death of a loved one to suicide can be particularly complex. Shannon Donnick, Senior Manager of Loss & Healing Programs for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, joins us to talk about this unique kind of loss and how we can move forward on our grief journey in healthy ways.

Author and cemetery expert Loren Rhoads takes us on a journey to discover more about the final resting places of our ancestors, other family and friends - perhaps even our own. Loren helps us consider how visiting a cemetery can not only help us feel closer to loved ones who have died, but also give us a better understanding of the history of our families, the world around us, and our place in it.

In her book, From Scratch, A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home, producer, actor and author Tembi Locke shares the poignant love story of her life with her husband Saro, his terminal illness and how she and her daughter Zoela found ways to move forward in their grief following his death. Tembi joined us to share her very personal story about life, love and loss.

We often hear about therapy dogs in nursing homes or hospices, but, increasingly, therapy dogs are also finding themselves at home in local funeral homes. Beth Johnson from Ultimate Canine, and Bob Prout and Julia Prout from Prout Funeral Home in New Jersey, join us to talk about the Prout’s therapy dog, Morris V. Prout, and how his training helped him provide comfort to people who are grieving.

Dr. Sara Murphy joins us to discuss the incredible toll mass-fatality events are having on each of us personally and collectively as a nation. Recorded shortly after the mass shootings at Tops Friendly Markets in Buffalo, New York, and at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, this episode explores how we can try to move forward in our grief following these and other mass-fatality events.

Claire Bidwell Smith, therapist, grief expert and author of three books, returns to the Remembering A Life podcast to talk about her book The Rules of Inheritance, a memoir about the years before and after the deaths of both of her parents. In this episode we explore the unique grief that follows the death of a parent and how Claire, having lost both parents by age 25, began and continues on her complicated grief journey. We’ll also talk about how she keeps the memories of her parents alive for herself and her children who were never able to meet their grand...

Doug Middleton, a free agent safety in the National Football League, played college football at Appalachian State and signed with the New York Jets as an undrafted free agent in 2016. Following the death of his best friend AJ by suicide, Doug embarked on a mission to raise awareness of the importance of taking care of one's mental health, concentrating on the African-American community and student athletes. To that end, he founded Dream the Impossible (dreamtheimpossible.org). The work he does is inspiring and is making a difference in the lives of thousands of people.

We often think about to whom we will leave what we consider our most valued possessions – our jewelry, books, artwork, or other meaningful items – after we die. But what about our personal values, the lessons we’ve learned, and our dreams for others? Dr. Barry Baines invites us to consider how writing an ethical will can help us put our values on paper and leave a lasting and meaningful legacy.

Inspired early in the pandemic by the image of refrigerated trucks in Queens holding the remains of people who had died of COVID-19 and haunted by thoughts of how survivors would begin to cope, Terry Werth set out to give them a voice. A little more than a year later, a compilation of their stories was published. Terry joined us for a discussion about love, life and loss during the pandemic.

Young mourners can often feel a bit lost at a funeral, but there are meaningful ways to help them say goodbye to their loved one and to honor their grief. Funeral directors Lanae Strovers and Melissa Posey Loose experience first-hand how the death of a loved one can affect children, and how involving them in the funeral or memorial service can help them move forward on their unique grief journey.

When Dr. Joseph Stern’s sister was diagnosed with leukemia, it turned his world upside down. In his book, "Grief Connects Us: A Neurosurgeon’s Lessons on Love, Loss, and Compassion," Dr. Stern captures the hope and heartbreak experienced by so many families when faced with a terminal illness. He joined us to share how his experiences transformed the approach he takes to caring for patients.

Recovery expert Robert Jensen has the unimaginable task of recovering remains and personal effects at the sites of the world's largest mass fatality events. His book, Personal Effects, is an unsparing, up-close look at the difficult work Jensen does behind the yellow tape. He joins us to talk about how recovering the dead has taught him how to better care for the living.

It's not uncommon for people to struggle with their faith after the death of a loved one. This month's episode invites us to explore our grief through the lens of our faith and how our faith may be tested during this difficult time. Guest Shelley Craig from Faith & Grief Ministries encourages listeners to consider how they can honor their loved ones through faith-based practices and traditions.

The holidays can be difficult when we’re grieving – or supporting someone who is. Alex Mammadyarov, a writer and psychotherapist specializing in grief, joins us for a conversation about the challenges of grieving during the “happiest time of the year” and how we can continue to move forward in our grief during a time when family and friends are gathering to celebrate.

Dominic Carella, soon-to-be Managing Partner of Donohue-Cecere Funeral Home in Westbury, New York, was one of the first funeral directors to arrive at Ground Zero following the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. In the months that followed, he would serve more than 75 families who experienced the devastating loss of a loved one that day.

Christie Whitaker, a funeral director at Whitaker Funeral Home in Newberry, South Carolina, was one of many funeral professionals who volunteered their time in New York City following the terrorist attacks on 9/11. Whitaker managed the Family Assistance Center, providing support to families searching for information about missing loved ones.

Bryant Hightower, a funeral director at Martin & Hightower Funeral Home in Carrollton, Georgia, drove to New York City shortly after the terrorist attacks and spent several months there. He served at the Family Assistance Center, contacting families of the people who were on the planes. He also worked with the medical examiner to put together post-mortems so remains could be identified.

John Carmon, funeral director and president of Carmon Community Funeral Homes, spent three weeks in New York City after 9/11 and returned 15 times in the months that followed. John had many informal interactions with people whose loved ones were missing, guiding many in creating “honor rituals” at home. He also assisted in honoring a service dog that was killed in the attacks.