Being there for your kids

How many of your encounters ended badly because of misunderstood words? I bet it's way  too many. It's really true that your words matter. When you have to add, "I'm just messing with you," or," Just kidding, Sheesh!" the damage of your words to your partner has already been done. In the following, I offer insight into how and why your words matter and also how you can be clear and specific to avoid hurt feelings. More is available in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. You can find it o...

We all are who we are. But who is that? Many components over our lifetime make us who we are. The parts we like? We embrace. The parts we don't like? We can do something to change them. To look at how we form our personal identity, check out the following. For more, go to https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.

Dieting is never fun. It seems like forever to lose to your goal weight. Once there, though, the reward in confidence, self-image, mood, and assurance is fantastic! Pattie needed to lose the final 30 lbs. to reach her pre-pregnancy weight. See how she got there. She's a whole new person. I have more such stories in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Find it at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ. 

Blessings,

Dr. Jon

When summer starts and kids are out of school, kids go, "Yaaay!" Parents go, "Ugh! Groan." While there may be lots to fill the long summer hours, how about something new?  This website, https://www,websiteplanet.com/blog/safest-coding-sites-for-kids/, is a great place to find some new stuff. It reviews 38 code-learning, gaming options for you and your kids, available for kids ages 5-18. Check you my examples and go to the above web-site for the whole package. Help fill your kid's summer with fun and educational stuff. Blessings, Jon

Bad things happen to everyone. It's how we handle them that develops our character and defines our lives. Really bad things can leave emotional scars that need healing. When those scars generate flashbacks to traumatic events, that's the heart of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Check out this podcast and get a context for your healing journey. Blessings, Jon

Healthy boundaries are the emotional elixir of strong relationships. When we maintain healthy boundaries, we balance self-care with other care. Feelings are not hurt. Good choices are made. Everybody is valued and all of us get along. Great! Easy to identify and talk about. Hard to put in place. With this podcast, I'm sharing with you the substance and context of setting healthy boundaries and also giving you an example from a therapy exchange. My new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, gives more concrete examples and shows how mentalligent psychotherapy can...

In effective therapy, there are 4 stages. As you go on your healing journey, these mile markers will guide you. Check them out. Blessings, Jon

Rubber bands hold the key to our healing journey and mental health. Wait. What? Think about it. Rubber bands are so unassuming until you use them. Their use comes from their ability to stretch, expand, and gather essential parts. Does that sound like personal human growth to you? Ponder the rubber band with me. Blessings, Jon

Life is stressful. Good stress, called eustress, as well as bad stress, which we all know as distress. You can't get away from it. The best way you can deal with stress is to develop resilience. Being resilient gives you the tools to overcome any adversity and to develop healthy stress management. Today I offer the ABCs of mastering resilience. Whether you are among the stressed (aren't we all?) general public or a helping professional looking for the latest tools of innovative psychotherapy, check out this new episode.

Deciding to start psychotherapy and be a monumental decision for someone. You're stuck in your life. Probably have been there for a long time. You've tried other options to no avail. You want to get unstuck and forge a new life for yourself. In my clinical experience over 40 years, I've noticed 4 types of clients. Accordingly, they tend to complete their therapy in certain lengths of time. Mentalligent psychotherapy can help you zero in on your treatment goals and make the most out of your therapy experience. Check it out. Blessings, Jon

Getting into psychotherapy is a big, big deal. Some people jump right in. Most, however, are reluctant to invest the time and effort into healing. Go figure. With encouragement and commitment, therapy will begin. Your healing is a journey, while therapy is the process that can focus and energize your healing journey. This piece identifies the four stages of the therapy process and resources to facilitate your journey. Check it out. Blessings, Jon

Ya know? Getting unstuck is so hard to do because we are so used to being stuck. Ugh! Today I'm sharing with you my way of using mentalligent psychotherapy to help people make the shift from stuckness to healing. We are all used to the familiar, even when it is unhealthy. Embracing the new involves moving your mindset from the unhealthy, which is familiar to you, to the healthy, which is unfamiliar. With practice, then, the healthy becomes more familiar, your new normal. Check it out. If you are curious, get more from my new book, The Healing Journey...

Emotional baggage is a reference to the issues that we've endured from our past and that threaten to define who we are in our future. It's time to dump your emotional baggage. Mentalligent psychotherapy is a means of addressing your stress and stuckness, shedding a downward spiraling, and soaring into your future on the upward spiraling of your healing journey. Mentalligent psychotherapy uses three interwoven treatment strategies to help you soar. Mindfulness sets the stage for your journey. Positive psychology changes your focus from what's wrong to what's right. Cognitive behavioral interventions clean up your personal mess and clears...

We all experience loss. How we handle it defines it as a blessing or a curse. While we first go to friends and family to make sense of it all, if our grieving and depression linger, we can benefit from psychotherapy. Mentalligent Psychotherapy (MPT) is an excellent resource for you.

Mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) elegantly weaves the treatment strategies of mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral interventions into a fabric of healing. Your therapist is your guide on a healing journey. MPT lifts you up from the downward spiraling of depression and promotes ways to maintain upward spiraling.

What if questions generate anxiety. I wonder statements generate curiosity. When you want to calm down, switch out your what if anxiety into I wonder curiosity. Being curious about your circumstances always has a calming effect. Check it out.

What's going on with you in here is equally important to what's going on out there. Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are generated from adaptive brain functioning. Mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) is designed to optimize adaptive brain functioning. Here's an example. 

Blessings,

Jon

Did you know? What you pay attention to grows. If you labor on what's wrong, you might mis what's right. In this podcast, I help you find the blessing amidst the struggles and difficulties of your life. Mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) is a means of doing so. Check it out.

Living life on the edge can be both precarious and thrilling. Sometimes the balance is worth it. Other times, the toll can be debilitating anxiety. Take a moment to check out this podcast and learn just how you can talk yourself off the edge, overcoming adversity, improving stress management, and restoring resilience. Blessings,

Dr. Jon

One of the realities of life is that what we focus on grows. Focus on the negative and it grows. Focus on the positive and it will grow. In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I incorporate positive psychology as one of three major treatment interventions, artfully interwoven, to define mentalligent psychotherapy. "Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. That's What it's all about." A cute song back in the day that embraces positive psychology. Check it out.

People often dismiss being mindful as psycho-babble. Just talking stuff to sound cool. And yet, if you are in emotional crisis, being weighed down by past experiences and dreading the future, then learning mindfulness can be a part of your lifesaving healing journey of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT). In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I identify mindfulness as one of three critical treatment strategies of MPT. To avoid the gap if your depressive past and your dreaded future of more of the same, stay in the present. Mind the gap.<...

We change our minds all the time. Most is, whatever. But, when you start therapy, it's about changing your mind permanently. With mentalligent psychotherapy, your efforts to trade in downward spiraling for upward spiraling is about developing new neural pathways, using your brain's neuroplastic characteristic, to effect positive outcomes that last forever. In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, you will find the means to make those changes to your habits, personality, and relationships that will serve you well for the rest of your lifetime. Check it out and consider c...

Unless you find yourself in emergency circumstances, sorting out all of your options for beginning therapy is a good idea. To that end, I encourage using my 6-week rule. Check it out.

Every once in a while, something new comes along that is exciting, provides a critically different perspective, and just fills the bill. Such is the case with a new treatment strategy, Mentalligent Psychotherapy (MPT). Among the ABC's of therapy, MPT is the new kid on the block. Following is a brief introduction. Get more by looking into my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, available at amazonbooks.com.  Blessings, Dr. Jon

When we face adversity, our "stuff" brings us down and we can get stuck. Some people actually say their life feels "like I'm spiralng out of control. Getting through our adversity and stress involves changing direction, from downward spiraling to upward spiraling. Mentalligent psychotherapy is a means for changing your life direction and soaring, that is, finding ways to manage your stress and maintain resilience when life gets you down. Check out this podcast for more. Blessings, Jon

Much of counseling and psychotherapy feels like same ol' same ol'. In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I offer a paradigm shift on how we can engage in effective therapy. Whether you are looking to start therapy yourself, you are learning how to do therapy, or you want to add to your toolbox as a seasoned therapist, check out this podcast. It might be just for you.

If you seem to be stuck in unhelpful same ol' same ol', they it might be time to consider starting psychotherapy. Therapy is a great way to embrace new beginnings and find healing. Mentalligent psychotherapy is a treatment strategy used to help you find your healing journey. I have a new book out that helps you get started. Check out this article.

We all define our success in different ways. How we define it impacts how we raise our children. Success comes in moments of time, not only is reaching your goals or accomplishments. Use your relationship with your children to help ground them in the foundation for successful living, and then be their with them in their struggles to model how a successful lifestyle empowers them.

When the worst thing happens with your child, do you doubt if you are passing or failing in your parenting? The key choices you make in the moment define your success or failure at the most important job we all have in life, the legacy we give our kids.

Long car trips can be a bore for everybody, but especially for kids. Are we there yet? is a common refrain that can lead to turmoil if not addressed. When IPads and cell phones are not available, consider filling the time with family car games.

We are more than related individuals living together. We are a family. But what contributes to our identity as a family? One element are the family rituals we keep. Check out this podcast and consider how your family rituals bind you together.

All kids love to blow and play with bubbles. Popping them in flight is such fun. Lifestyle bubbles, however, not so much. Here I share my thoughts about how we can help our children expand their experiences by avoiding lifestyle bubbles.

Did you know? Your child's sibling place in your family matters. First-borns, middle children, and youngest child all have certain personality traits in part because of their position in the family. In this piece, I underscore those traits according to birth order and encourage parenting patterns for each child that takes their birth order into consideration. Hope this is helpful. Blessings, Jon

Teens often seem to be in their own world. But, do they really want to be? Their universal goal is to form their own, individual identity, which will carry over for their lifetime. Sadly, that goal can be at great expense to others in their world. Coming to terms with your teen means accepting where they are at any given moment, being there for them, and helping them navigate those troubled waters.

What kind of parent are you? Are you the good guy? the bad guy? the strict disciplinarian? the lax one? All kinds of parenting. Hopefully you are a bit of each of these. If so, add to your list, the cuddler. Cuddling is essential to relationship-building and to character-building for your child. Make time to cuddle each of your kids regularly.

Parenting often seems limited to stern lectures, supervising chores, helping with homework. While these things may represent the hard work of parenting, it's important to meaningfully plan playful time with them. The concept of playful parenting provides the foundation for your children listening to you, accepting your direction and leadership, and being a part of the family. Here are my thoughts on playful parenting.

Legacies come in many forms. They could be the family business, a piece of property, some passed-down item from family antiquity. If we are looking at qualities, rather than stuff, helping your kids learn and use being resilient in life is a great legacy. Resilience is making the best out of a bad situation. It's dealing with stuff in a positive, redeeming way. It's learning to draw the blessing out of even the toughest situation. Resilience, pass it on to your kids.

Next to life, death, and marriage, residential moving can be waaay up there as stressful. Following is an article my colleague, Cheryl Conklin at cheryl@wellnesscentral.info. 

Having moved 8 times in my life, I share your pain. Hopefully, these eight tips can smoothe the transition for you. Blessings,

Jon

How does your family handle the loss of a loved one. It's going to happen. How does it affect you and your children? In this podcast I ask the question, "Is Dying Painful?" I then outline the stages of grieving and things you and your family can do to cope with the loss, experience the grieving, and continue moving on.

In today's busy, non-stop, electronic world, how much time do you think you actually have with your kids and as a family? Thinking about and applying the categories of quality family time will promote family gathering and interacting, despite all the obstacles that could get in the way. Here are some thoughts.