Red Eye Report

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we dive deep into a dark and often overlooked chapter of American history: the Wilmington Massacre of 1898. Known as the only successful coup d'état on U.S. soil, this event saw a white supremacist mob overthrow a legitimately elected biracial government in North Carolina.

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Is your dad a hero or a cautionary tale? This week on the Red Eye Report, we’re diving into the dark, pushy, and occasionally criminal world of Parenting. Whether it’s forcing a child to speedrun Super Mario 3 before doing math or raising a future bank-robbing toddler, we explore the fine line between "mentorship" and "vicarious living." We also take a collective swing at Gwyneth Paltrow (because why not?) and pay our respects to the ultimate cautionary tale, Marv Marinovich.

Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we’re negotiating our release while breaking down the wildest, weirdest, and most famous ransom cases in history. From stolen celebrity corpses to Yakuza run-ins, we are covering it all while waiting for the wire transfer to clear.

Tonight's Hostage Situation:

Oracle: Currently suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, winking at the kidnappers, and complimenting their tracksuits.

Mystic: Won't stop complaining about the 1-ply toilet paper in the holding cell, yet somehow is still hogging it all.

Teddy: Is legitimately offended that his ransom demand is 75% lower th...

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, Ashtray, Oracle, Mystic, and Teddy dive deep into the mathematical blueprint of reality: Sacred Geometry. We explore how ancient civilizations used geometric patterns to build monuments and how these same shapes appear in everything from honeycombs to human DNA. The crew breaks down the significance of the Platonic Solids, the mystery of the Golden Ratio, and why the Flower of Life is considered the visual expression of the connections between all living things. Beyond the math, we discuss the spiritual implications of these patterns and whether they prove the universe was...

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we take a deep dive down the rabbit hole into one of the most incredible—and often forgotten—moments in American history: The Battle of Athens, Tennessee (1946). When World War II veterans returned home to McMinn County, they didn't find the peace they fought for. Instead, they found a town under the iron grip of the corrupt Cantrell-Mansfield political machine, fueled by voter intimidation, predatory policing, and systemic fraud.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Corporatocracies around the world. Also in the show, Teddy reviews Marvel Cosmic Invasion, and Oracle beefs about his gutter falling off (and Meta killing the Messenger app on PC).

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Nord Stream Pipeline Sabotage. There's a bunch of shady stuff surrounding this case. Also in the show, the Scots are amazing trolls, and who the hell is Billy Don Burns?

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Demiurge and the Abrahamic Mind Virus. Also in the show, we discover Teddy has no idea who Ken Burns is. 

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss New Sports Betting. Gambling is EVERYWHERE, and it is getting more engrained in general entertainment. Also in the show, Teddy has an insatiable need to get drunk at airports and Ashtray lays out some cray cray false accusations at Whitehorse Middle School.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the recent Louvre Heist and other heists. Europeans...they like pulling off heists! Also in the show, Ashtray dishes on an insane Florida Man death train and Old Man Jenkins Oracle decries the dying FB Messenger Windows App. Download the Red Eye Report wherever you get your podcasts.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the rise of strategic cargo theft. Criminals are getting sophisticated, and getting freight moved without getting ripped off has gotten way more complicated over the past few years. Also in the show, Ashtray smashed some apples and Teddy teabags COD.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss radio. It revolutionized how we communicate just over a hundred years ago. A lot has changed, and yet, a lot has remained the same. Also on the show, the U.N. sabotages Trump, and Ashtray asks for a ho break.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Recalls and F'd Up Products. A few takeaways: A) there are some scumbag companies out there. B) what the hell was going in around 2010?

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report we discuss celebrities that have made huge amounts of cash in surprising ways--business and amazing business that set them up for the rest of their lives. Also in the show, Fake Beebs hits the Strip, and Teddy tries to track down a klepto stealing air fresheners from the women's bathroom. Download the Red Eye Report wherever you get your podcasts.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Oklahoma City Bombing and John Doe #2. Sketchy....Also in show the, Teddy nerds out on some Shinobi and Cracker Barrel adopts a bar of soap as their logo.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Imperial Pacific casino. Corruption has run amok in Saipan. Speaking of running amok, Teddy fills us in on some big boy rollercoasters, and Mistic details his out of control road rage.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Carnival Poop Cruise. All I can say is shit lasagna. Also in the show, Liver King goes off the deep end, and Mistic pleads for humanity to stop messing with the dinos. We have enough Jurassic Parks.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Juneteenth. What's some of the history or why have white folks really only been aware of Juneteenth for the past decade or so? Also in the show, Teddy preps for yet another cruise, and Ashtray shares a wild poisoning case in the Madison area.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Screwworm. They are absolutely disgusting, and they are making a comeback. Also in the show, Teddy shows off his Switch 2, and Ashtray gets the phone repair runaround.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss flops. When something launches, and well, it flops, it’s a mega kick in the nuts. Was it warranted? You be the judge. We take a look at a few epic fails. Also in the show, hot takes on Andor Season 2, and Ashtray pulls out his RUMP watch.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Nazi Ratlines. A lot of Nazis escaped Germany post-WWII. Where they went and how they got there might surprise you. Also in the show, Teddy crawls some dungeons and Oracle dumps his oil. Download the Red Eye Report wherever you get your podcasts.

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Did you know there are Exclusion Zones around the globe where you can't use any type of radio equipment, WiFi, or even your sparkplugs might be too electromagnetically loud?

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Zizians. What a bunch of weirdos. Also in the show, Oracle drools over polygonal tits, and Teddy goes after some call center scammers.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Gateway Experience. What's up with this weird guided meditation from the 80s and why is it making a resurgence? Also in the show, Mistic weighs in on the devil and Teddy weighs in on the new Assassin's Creed.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Nuremberg Trials. Also in the show, Oracle goes after those waskaly wabbits, and Mistic tries to teach Me Maw how to use Office 365.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we checking in on America. Also in the show, Mistic creams his pants over a bag of chips, and we peer deep into our android minds. 

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Grooming Gangs of the UK. 

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss AI Slop.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Red Summer.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss unruly art.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the Uyghurs and their f'd up situation in China.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Salt Typhoon.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Killer Celebs.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss famous people with infamous relatives. Also in the show, Teddy hits the orchestra circuit, and Ashtray crushes on an assassin.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Hybristophilia, or the sexual interest in and attraction to those who commit crimes. There are pros and cons to having a locked up serial killer as a boyfriend. Hopefully, he never gets out. Also in the show, Oracle's dog takes a dump in his kitchen and Mistic takes a dump on Linkin Park.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Reincarnation. We’ve been pondering reincarnation for millennia. Is it wishful thinking? Or will Ashtray be reincarnated as a syphilitic squirrel? Also in the show, Oracle becomes the Degenerate King of the World, and Mistic and Teddy engage in a post-election make out session.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Negro League Baseball. These guys were killing it well before the Majors! Also in the show, Ashtray gimps out with his electronic acupuncture pen and someone "accidentally" contaminates a pizza parlor with their weed oil.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Transcendental Meditation, and somehow equate peaceful individuals seeking enlightenment to Hamas...bit of a leap, but okay. Also in the show, Teddy almost gets thrown on the no fly list and Oracle deals with a naughty dog.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Pager Pandemonium. 12 dead and 2,800 injured...that's a lot of missing meat flaps. Also in the show, Ashtray achieves hipster ascension by purchasing a Subaru and Teddy enjoys the family life.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Metawar, or the ongoing battle for your brain by Big Tech. The tools for monitoring and control are increasing in their capabilities. How much are the capabilities increasing? The answer might scare the hell out of you.

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