Hidden Brain

Do you feel like you control your emotions, or do your emotions control you? What scientists call "emotion regulation" turns out to be one of the most important life skills we can possess. It's essential in dealing with setbacks, in balancing risks and rewards, and in maintaining successful relationships. This week, psychologist Ethan Kross explores the growing and fascinating science of managing our emotions. He explains why our feelings so often go astray, and shares insights into how to reel them back in.

In this episode, you'll learn:

*How to coach yourself through emotionally intense...

There's no magic potion that can make someone adore you. But there are things you can do to promote a deep and enduring connection — and even feelings of passion — between yourself and your partner. In the final chapter of our Relationships 2.0 series, psychologist Arthur Aron shares some techniques for falling and staying in love. 

In today's conversation, we explore:

*The assumption that love fades over time.

*The effects of daily routine on romantic relationships.

*What our choice in a romantic partners says about us

*How successful long-term couples keep love...

As we go through life, we’re constantly trying to figure out what other people are thinking and feeling. Psychologist Liane Young says this ability to assess other people’s thoughts ​is an extraordinary feat of cognition. This week, in a favorite episode from our archives, we explore this mental superpower — and how it can lead us astray. 

In our conversation with Liane Young, we explore:

*The uniquely human ability to think about the minds of other people, which scientists refer to as "theory of mind." 

*How and when young children develop this ability to i...

As you go about your day, you likely interact with family, friends and coworkers. These relationships can help you feel cared for and connected. But what if there’s a whole category of people in your life whose impact is overlooked? Today, in a favorite episode from our archives, psychologist Gillian Sandstrom reveals some simple ways to make your life a little more joyful and maybe even a little less lonely. Then, we talk with researcher Erica Bailey, who responds to listeners' questions about authenticity and how to reveal our true selves to the people around us.

In...

When we head into a negotiation — whether we're asking for a raise or trying to get our spouse to do the dishes — our focus is usually on getting the other person to agree to our preferred outcome.  What we don't focus on are our own biases and blind spots. Behavioral scientist Max Bazerman studies the theory and practice of negotiation, and he says that paying attention to these biases can help us to craft better deals.

Do you have a follow-up question after listening to this episode? If you'd be comfortable sharing your question with the Hidden Brain...

All of us want to "seen" by the people around us. We want to be recognized as unique individuals. Yet the experience of being seen in this way can be dispiritingly rare. This week, we kick off our "Relationships 2.0" series by talking with researcher Allison Pugh about the psychological benefits of what she calls "connective labor." She explains why this labor is often overlooked, and how to cultivate the superpower of making other people feel seen.  

In this episode, you'll learn: 

*The definition of connective labor, and why this skill is like "engine grease" for ou...

Often in life, we find ourselves wrestling with a decision. But in running these mental calculations, there's something we rarely consider about the future: we might not be the same person when we get there. This week, philosopher L.A. Paul explores how life-altering events reshape who we are.

Want more of our work on understanding your future self? Give these Hidden Brain episodes a listen: 

https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/you-2-0-how-to-see-yourself-clearly/

https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/you-2-0-decide-already/

https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/you-2-0-your-future-is-now/

https://hiddenbrain.o...

Have you ever been falsely accused of something? Many of us think there’s only one way we’d act in such a situation: we’d defend ourselves. We’d do whatever it takes to clear our name — and above all else, we’d never, ever confess to something we didn’t do. But psychologist Saul Kassin says that’s a myth. This week, we bring you a favorite 2022 episode about why we sometimes act against our own self-interest — even when the stakes are at their highest.

In this week's episode, you'll learn about:

When should you stay the course in life, and when should you shift with changing tides? This week, we bring you case studies from the world of business to explore the science of inflection points — changes that dramatically transform the course of events. Researcher Rita McGrath of Columbia University explains why we fail to see impending moments of upheaval, and what we can do to be more adept at spotting them.

What you'll learn from this week's episode:

Have you ever downplayed some aspect of your identity? Maybe you don’t hide it, but you don’t bring it up with certain people, either.  It turns out that these subtle disguises can have powerful effects on how we view ourselves. This week, we talk with legal scholar Kenji Yoshino about what happens when we soften or edit our true selves.

Do you have a follow-up question for Kenji Yoshino after listening to this episode? If you'd be comfortable sharing your question with the larger Hidden Brain audience, please record a voice memo on your phone and e...

What would you have done? It's one of the most enduring questions in psychology. We all like to think that in a moment of crisis, we'd rise to the occasion and show courage. And yet many of us have had experiences where we followed orders and did what we were told to do. This week, we talk with psychologist Sunita Sah about the reasons why many of us silence ourselves and follow orders, and how we can align our words and actions with our values.

In today's conversation, Shankar mentioned our episode with Timur Kuran, in which...

Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with Alison Wood Brooks about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.

If you missed part one of our conversation with Alison, be sure to check it out! It's titled "We Need to Talk."  S...

Just because we’ve been doing something for a long time doesn’t mean we’re doing it right. One part of our lives where this may be particularly true is when we're talking with others. This week, we bring you the first of a two-part look at what makes someone skilled at socializing. Behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks explains why conversations are much more complex than most of us realize — and how to engage in a more meaningful back-and-forth with another person.

For more of our work on the art of conversation, check out these classic Hidden B...

Holding a grudge can feel like a form of justice, a way of punishing those who have wronged us. But psychologist Fred Luskin says that more often than not, grudges don't hurt the targets of our anger. Instead, they only hurt us. This week, we explore the lingering effects of long-standing animosities, and how to let them go.

If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to check out these classic Hidden Brain episodes about apologies and forgiveness:

The Power of Mercy

Healing 2.0: The Power of Apologies

How to Make Amends

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." It's been 45 years since John Lennon sang that line, yet it's an idea that continues to speak to an uncomfortable truth. While we all like to think we have some measure of control over how our lives will unfold, our plans are often upended by unknown events and curveballs we couldn't have predicted. This week, we conclude our Wellness 2.0 series by talking with political scientist Brian Klaas. He studies how we respond to the random events that shape our lives, and how we can turn them to...

It’s no exaggeration to say that the world in 2025 can be ... a lot. Sometimes it may seem that tuning it all out is our only option. This week on Hidden Brain, we talk with researcher Sarah Jaquette Ray about how we can reclaim our sense of efficacy and purpose in the face of big, systemic problems like climate change. Then, we bring you an audio essay from writer Pico Iyer, who shares his thoughts on how we can regain our footing when life is overwhelming. 

If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a p...

We all have to make certain choices in life, such as where to live and how to earn a living. Parents and peers influence our major life choices, but they can also steer us in directions that leave us deeply unsatisfied. This week: a favorite conversation with psychologist Ken Sheldon about the science of figuring out what you want. He says there are things we can do to make sure our choices align with our deepest values.

If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a particularly good time to give our podcast subscription...

From time to time, all of us are called upon to do hard or even seemingly impossible things. Do we rise to the occasion, or do we fall short? Today on the show, we examine the psychology of pushing through a crisis. We talk with psychologist Adam Galinsky about great leaders, and what they can teach us about being steadfast in the face of challenges.

For more on leading during moments of crisis, please check out "Wellness 2.0: The Power of Perspective," our companion conversation with Adam Galinsky. It's available for listeners to our podcast subscription, Hidden Brain+...

We’re often drawn to people who appear to be true to themselves. Yet showing our authentic selves to the world can be terrifying. This week, we kick off 2025 with a new series, “Wellness 2.0.” We’ll go beyond New Year’s resolutions to take a deep look at how we can approach our lives with a sense of meaning and purpose. Today on the show, we begin our series with researcher Erica Bailey, who studies authenticity and what it means to truly be ourselves.

Happy New Year from all of us at Hidden Brain! If you liked today's ep...

It's happened to all of us: We're in the shower, or on a walk, and boom — a big idea or a brilliant solution appears out of nowhere. These sorts of insights often seem to arise without explanation. But researchers increasingly find there is a science to cultivating creativity. This week, social psychologist Sheena Iyengar shares research and case studies of innovation, and discusses what these examples tell us about the alchemy of creative breakthroughs. 

Looking for a last-minute holiday gift for a fellow fan of Hidden Brain? Consider giving them a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+! 

Every day, we leave small traces of ourselves online. And we might not realize what these traces say about us. This week, computational social scientist Sandra Matz explores how understanding what we actually do online –  not just what we think we do – can help us improve our lives. 

Looking for a last-minute holiday gift for a fellow Hidden Brain fan? You can now give a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+!  

With the holidays fast approaching, many of us are hunting for that special something for the special someones in our lives. It’s how we show we care about them. So why is it so hard to find the right gift? This week, we revisit a favorite 2022 conversation with researcher Jeff Galak. We'll discuss why the presents we give for holidays and birthdays often miss their mark, and how to become a better gift-giver. 

Looking for a holiday gift for a fellow Hidden Brain fan? You can now give a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+! Or if mat...

What makes ordinary people do evil things? It was a question that long fascinated the psychologist Philip Zimbardo, who died in October. Zimbardo was best known for the controversial Stanford prison experiment, in which he created a simulated prison in the basement of a university building and recruited volunteers to act as prisoners and guards. This week, we explore how Zimbardo came to create one of psychology's most notorious experiments – and inadvertently became the poster child for the human weaknesses he was trying to study.  

We're bringing Hidden Brain to the stage in San Francisco and Seattle in February 2...

There's a tradition around many Thanksgiving dinner tables that's as consistent as stuffing and pumpkin pie: the family stories that get told year after year. Sometimes these stories are funny; sometimes they make us roll our eyes. No matter how we feel about these tales, we rarely pause to consider how they shape who we are and how we view the world. This week, we talk to psychologist Robyn Fivush about the profound impact that family stories can have on our lives.  

If you enjoyed today's conversation, here are more Hidden Brain episodes you might like:

Neuroscientist Doug Fields was on a trip to Europe when a pickpocket stole his wallet. Doug, normally mild-mannered, became enraged — and his fury turned him into a stranger to himself. This week, we revisit a favorite 2020 episode about the secret logic of irrational anger.

This is the final episode in our Emotions 2.0 series. If you missed any of the episodes in the series, you can find them here in this podcast feed, or at hiddenbrain.org. And if there's someone in your life who you think would enjoy this series, please tell them about it. Thanks for li...

Many of us go to great lengths to be happy. But is our singular focus on feeling good actually making us miserable? This week, psychologist Jordi Quoidbach explores what happens when we try to live in an emotional monoculture, and makes a case for letting it all in — the ups ... and the downs.

Be sure to check out the other episodes in our Emotions 2.0 series. And for more of our work on the topic of happiness, here are some other episodes you might enjoy: 

You 2.0: Where Happiness Hides

Happiness 2.0: The Path to Contentment

Sometimes we feel just one single feeling with overwhelming force. We're joyously happy. We're crushingly sad. But sometimes it's more complicated than that: We feel happy and sad at the same time. This week, we revisit a favorite 2022 episode with psychologist Naomi Rothman, who shares her research on the mixed emotion of ambivalence. She explores how being of two minds changes the way we think, and how it changes the way others see us. 

Did you catch the first two episodes in our Emotions 2.0 series? You can find them in this podcast feed, or on our website, h...

For centuries, philosophers and theologians have warned about the dangers of pride and hubris. It’s an emotion that can make us arrogant, egotistical, and reckless. But psychologist Jessica Tracy suggests this caution is too broad. She argues that when we see pride only as a negative emotion, we miss out on all the powerful ways it can also be a driver of creativity, altruism, and accomplishment. 

Did you catch last week's conversation about collective emotions? It's the episode in this feed called "Emotions 2.0: When I Feel What You Feel."  

This week, we kick off our new series, Emotions 2.0, with a special double episode about the emotions we experience with other people. We often think that emotions like happiness or sadness live inside our individual minds. But if you’ve ever gone to a music concert in a big stadium or attended a political rally with like-minded voters, you know that emotions can move through crowds in powerful ways. We begin with psychologist Amit Goldenberg, who studies how emotions spread and ratchet up in intensity as more people experience them. Then, we bring you a favorite 2022 conversation with anthropologist Di...

We humans are a social species, and so it's not surprising that we care a lot about what other people think of us. It's also not surprising that many of us stumble when we try to manage others' views of us. This week, organizational psychologist Alison Fragale explains why that is, and offers better ways to win friends and influence people. 

Enjoy today's episode? Be sure to check out some of these other Hidden Brain conversations: 

How Others See You

You 2.0: How to See Yourself Clearly

Innovation 2.0: The Influence You Have 

I. Me. My. You. He. She. They. It. To. Of. For. These are all words we use without a second thought. But psychologist James Pennebaker says if we pay close attention to the patterns in speech and writing, we can understand profound things about others, and even ourselves.

For more on the relationship between language and our minds, check out this classic Hidden Brain episode: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/watch-your-mouth/

It can sometimes be exciting when we don't know what's coming next. Other times, the unknown can be deeply troubling. This week, we talk with researcher Dannagal Goldthwaite Young about how we respond to uncertainty, and why this psychological trait plays a surprisingly large role in shaping our behavior, perspectives — even our political beliefs. 

If you'd like to learn more about the intersection between psychology and our political views, check out these other Hidden Brain episodes: 

Moral Combat

US 2.0: Not at the Dinner Table

US 2.0: What We Have in Common 

 <...

Money worries are one of the biggest sources of anxiety in our lives. Psychologist Brad Klontz says these worries are shaped by more than the number in our bank accounts — they’re often driven by our unconscious beliefs. This week, we bring you a favorite 2022 conversation with Klontz, who says it’s possible to identify and change what he calls our “money scripts.”

For more of our work, please consider joining our podcast subscription, Hidden Brain+. It's our home for conversations and ideas you won't hear anywhere else. Plus, you'll be providing vital support for the work that we do...

Every morning, you wake up and face the world. What does it look like to you? Do you see a paradise of endless opportunities, where people are friendly and helpful? Or a world filled with injustice, where people cannot be trusted? In the final installment of this year's You 2.0 series, we talk with psychologist Jamil Zaki about how we become disillusioned and distrustful of the world, and how to balance realism with hope.

Did you miss any of the other episodes in the You 2.0 series? Make sure to give them a listen here or on our website: 

It happens to the best of us — we blank on someone's name, or forget an important meeting, or bomb a test we thought we'd ace. In this week's installment of our You 2.0 series, we talk to cognitive scientist Daniel Willingham about the mysteries of memory: how it works, why it fails us, and how to build memories that stick. 

For more of our You 2.0 series, listen to our episode on how to say no.

Saying no to someone who asks for something is often easier said than done. Maybe it's a boss who wants you to take on a new assignment. Or your kid's teacher, seeking volunteers for a field trip. Or a friend who asks you to lend her money. How should we respond to these demands on our time, energy, and resources? This week, psychologist Vanessa Patrick explores why it's so hard to say no, and how we can set boundaries that will make it easier to do so. 

If you haven't yet caught the first two episodes in t...

Many of us feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. We struggle to make time for all the competing demands at work and at home, and inevitably feel like we're letting someone down. But what if there were a way to reclaim our time and, as a result, get more joy out of our lives?  In the second episode of this year's You 2.0 series, psychologist Cassie Mogilner Holmes explains how we've fallen victim to the illusion of time scarcity, and what we can do to spend our time more wisely. 

If you enjoy today's episode, ch...

Are you someone who strikes up a conversation with the person next to you on the train? Or do you keep your eyes fixed on your phone? Do you offer gratitude to friends and family? Or do you assume that they already know how you feel? This week, in the kickoff to our annual You 2.0 series, we talk with psychologist Nicholas Epley about our interactions with other people, and how we can make them more rewarding.

If you enjoy today's episode, check out these classic Hidden Brain episodes: 

A Secret Source of Connection

H...

Whether in your personal life or at work, you've probably experienced what it’s like to have people reject your requests. To be told that what you want is unfair, or heavy-handed. And you've likely been in the opposite position as well — pushing back against requests that step on your freedom. This week, we talk to psychologist Benjamin Rosenberg about how we respond to infringements on our sense of autonomy, and how we can avoid sparking this resistance in our interactions with other people. 

If you know someone who would like today's episode, please share it with them...

When we meet new people, we’re often drawn to those with a commanding presence or a dazzling personality. But it turns out that a very different trait — humility — is important in the long term. This week, in the first of a two-part discussion, we talk with psychologist Daryl Van Tongeren about different kinds of humility, and how this overlooked quality can play a powerful role in workplace dynamics and romantic relationships. 

If you like today's episode, be sure to check out part two of our conversation, exclusively for Hidden Brain+ listeners. We talk with Daryl Van Tongere...