Don't Forget To Breathe

In the first of two conversations, Marnie from Colorado opens her heart to share memories of her daughter, Joey—the devastating medical diagnosis, countless hospital visits, and the daily fight to keep her alive, as well as the laughter, adventures, and everyday moments that filled their life with love. Recorded in a cozy coffeehouse, this episode invites you to see Joey through her mother’s eyes, before the tragedy that changed everything.

In this episode, I revisit one of the most talked-about topics from Season 2, Episode 9: Did You Really Just Say That?
We’ll reflect on some of the surprising, hurtful, or well-meaning-but-wrong things people say to grieving parents. I also share a few new comments I’ve heard recently from others in my grief support groups. If you've ever been on the receiving end of words that missed the mark—or if you want to better support someone in grief—this episode is for you.

Nineteen years ago today, Kristen died. In this short episode, I reflect on the weight of this day—what it brings up, how I’ve coped, and the ways I’ve honored her memory through the years. Grief changes, but it never disappears. This is a quiet space to remember, to feel, and to share the journey of healing.

Where Has Bruce Been?
After a three-year pause, Don’t Forget To Breathe returns with a raw and transparent look at the life-changing events that kept Bruce away from the mic. In this powerful relaunch, Bruce shares his journey through divorce, trauma, therapy, self-discovery, healing, and a new direction in life. It's a fresh chapter—honest, heartfelt, and rooted in the hope of moving forward together.

After more than three years away from the mic, I’m back with Season 3—bringing heartfelt, healing conversations around life after child loss. This season features solo reflections, revisits to powerful past topics, and honest stories from fellow grieving parents. I may not be a professional, just a dad walking this journey, but I hope these episodes help you feel seen, heard, and less alone. Let’s take one step at a time, together.

(Originally aired July 2021) We are joined by a special guest, Dr. Jody Barker, who talks about the concept of secondary trauma with public educators. And the episode takes a turn to dive into the "trigger" event Bruce and Jody experienced, that led to the original discussion of secondary trauma. It was a deep dive.

This is our warp up of Season 2 and a look forward to Season 3.

Rena and Bruce look at another layer of the Holiday Sandwich, and talk about more personal experiences and offer resources, help lines and text lines to have close if you feel overwhelmed during the Holidays.

We find ourselves in the Holiday Sandwich; the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas. In this episode, Bruce talks very candidly about the Thanksgiving experience he just had, his STERB of anger and what comes next.

With the Holidays upon us, we discuss the impact the Holidays have had on them, along with what's coming up this year. We talk about the necessity of allowing yourself to do and feel what comes up for you during an especially emotional time of the year. We also put out a call for you to send a message to the loved ones who won't be with you this season.

In this episode, we try to explain what it means by "Doing the Work". And by doing do, Rena gets very open and personal about a loss she experienced this week, and how she is doing the work.

The word "grief" has typically been associated with death. In this episode, Rena and I discuss the actual meaning of Grief, and begin talking about the 40 different forms of Grief. In a world full of trauma and loss, you will encounter many people in your daily life that are grieving. Let's talk about that and the need to create space for Grief.

In this episode, Rena and I continue our "unperson" session from Nashville, as we discuss finding your joy during celebratory events, all the while you continue your journey through grief. We talk about some specific tools that can help you navigate the invitations that may or may not come.

Can you experience joy at a special occasion when you are in your journey of grief? Is it even ok to feel joy? What will people think of your tears? Does it mean you are "moving on"? Rena and Bruce dive into this subject and discuss those questions in this special episode recored just a few days before Bruce's Son's wedding.

Have you been in the grocery aisle, maybe near your child's favorite snack or food; maybe it was a certain brand of chips? And you could hear your child asking for their favorite; really hear their voice in your mind? Rena and I dive into those moments when the chips start to talk in the grocery aisle.

After The Show is a series of conversations Rena and I have after we’ve stopped recording the podcast. We noticed that we spend a great deal of time talking after the shows, continuing our conversations about grief and recovery or sometimes just talking about our experiences, thoughts and ideas. And then we realized that some of what we talk about should be shared with our listeners; sort of a casual, more intimate chat. So we’d like you to find a comfy spot and be with us while we just talk.

As parents who have experienced the death of your child, we have all had things said to us that make us say...inside..."Did you really just say that to me?" We have internal explosions or gasps of disbelief. In this episode, we expose and share some of the things that have been said to us and said to friends that leave us shaking our heads. We are getting real and raw in our talk, so there is definitely use of explicit language; there's your warning.

We are diving into a few ways survivors feel a sense of guilt,  or is it just another form of grief. We talk about how that can manifest itself into a sense of not allowing yourself to feel joy, and if you do have a moment of joy, it might be immediately followed with a sense of guilt. That guilt can be debilitating and lead you to anger, sadness, and even depression and despair.  But is it really "guilt"?

In the first season of our podcast, you got a very clear view of who I am by me telling my story. Now that we've added a Co-Host, I think it’s important for you to get to know her and hear her story as well. Rena is a Certified Grief Specialist, but so much more...

We begin Season 2 by adding a very special co-host, Rena Ooi, a Certified Grief Specialist. Rena has walked in your shoes in a powerful way. She will share her story in Season 2, Episode 7.
In this Preview, we talk about some of the subjects we will discuss this season and how we hope to help you navigate your grief and recovery.

This will be a really short chat; I didn’t plan on doing an episode for a couple of weeks, but this thought popped up and I wanted to share it. This will be short, but hopefully, you will find something in it that might help. The big theme of my New Year’s Message…YOU MADE IT!

In the midst of the Holidays, The First Time Since talks about those events, favorite places and special occasions that we experience for the first time since losing a child, or anyone close to us. Simply living life day by day will reveal moments of remembrance that can trigger sorrow, pain, anger and more. But this can feel overwhelming during the Holiday season. If only to know that you are not alone with your avalanche of emotions, maybe this episode will give you a glimmer of connection with another grieving parent.

I believe that during the course of our lives, both individually and collectively, our daily activities, experiences and relationships are woven together to eventually form an amazing and complex tapestry; our very own life’s tapestry. A tapestry is made up of so many threads, each with its own purpose and distinct place in the pattern being created.  But why those threads; why then; why now. Let's discover some of those threads in my life's tapestry.

It was time to go back to Denver; time to get out of Louisiana; time to leave behind the horrible experience of burying my daughter. There was nothing to live for any longer. I was cloaked in despair; a walking death-wish. But someone had another plan for my life. This is the story of a divine encounter that changed everything.

From the moment I entered the Funeral Home until the time I exited, I was left with a lasting impression of the "business" of funerals. On top of being there because my child had died, the experience was one that I hope no parent will need to go through, even though I know it happens every single day to someone.

So on a day like any other, I got the call no parent ever wants to get, or ever really imagines they will, and one they never should. My daughter was dead. This episode covers the moment my life changed forever, and the living nightmare that began the next chapter of my life.

Don’t Forget to Breathe is a podcast that follows the journey of a father—me—who suddenly lost his 20-year-old daughter, and the life that followed a tragedy no parent should ever have to endure.

In these episodes, I’ll talk openly about my grief, my anger, my depression, the emptiness I’ve felt—and even those surprising moments of joy, glimpses of happiness, and what it’s been like to learn to laugh again. This is an ongoing journey, and I’ll be sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings with you along the way.

We’ll...