How To Love Yourself No Matter What

What if everything you’ve been told about being “too sensitive” is wrong?

In this episode, I share a deeply personal story from my early motherhood — the exhaustion, the misdiagnoses, and the moment I realized that I wasn’t broken… I was sensitive. For years, I tried to “fix” myself, believing that my emotions were the problem. But the truth is, sensitivity isn’t a weakness — it’s a form of wisdom.

We’ll explore what sensitivity really is (and what it’s not), how it overlaps with common mental health labels, and why learning to partner with your sensiti...

Did you grow up in a house where everything had to be someone's fault? That type of environment creates a specific kind of wiring in your brain. The spilled glass of water that turns into chaos, the constant need to assign blame, the walking on eggshells - these experiences don't just disappear when you become an adult. They show up as that relentless inner critic, the exhausting need to control everyone's emotions, and the panic that rises when something goes wrong.

The path forward isn't about becoming perfect or never making mistakes. It's about learning...

When your heart feels like it's been shattered into pieces and the pain consumes every moment of your day, you're experiencing something that every human being knows intimately: heartache.

In this episode, I'll walk you through my Love Yourself No Matter What method - a three-part process that helps you regulate your nervous system, process the emotion in your body, and decide what to believe about yourself when your brain offers up those cruel thoughts.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/284

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Most of us have been taught that jealousy is wrong, and that we should never feel it. But rejecting a normal human emotion only makes it come back louder and more destructive.

In this episode, I share my own experience with jealousy and shine a light on the hidden connection between feeling threatened and speaking poorly about others. You'll learn ways to regulate your nervous system, reduce your jealousy, and hear why the person who truly wins isn’t someone who never feels jealous - it’s the person who can feel all their feelings without sabotaging them...

Most of us think the point of a goal is to achieve it. But what if the real purpose is who you become along the way? When I laced up my skates, put on a sparkly costume, and stepped onto the ice to perform in front of judges, I thought the goal was the medal. What I learned instead was that the goal was there to help me meet every part of myself—the scared, the brave, and the resilient—all in one two-minute skate.

In this episode, I’m sharing what really happens between setting a goal and...

Goal setting triggers panic for so many of us. The fear of not meeting expectations, the pressure of deadlines, the looming possibility of disappointment - it's enough to make anyone avoid setting goals altogether. But what if the real problem isn't the goal itself, but our relationship with failure along the way?

Tune in to hear my four-step process for moving through fear and failure with compassion. You'll discover how to set goals that stretch you, create belief before you see results, fail on purpose (yes, really), and evaluate without judgment.

Get full show notes...

So often we believe that a better relationship depends on our partner changing. But the truth is, the real work starts with you.

If you’ve ever felt stuck giving too much, overcompensating, or constantly managing the relationship on your own, this episode is for you. I share practical ways to start building self-love as a standard in your life, how to navigate guilt or frustration when it arises, and why creating this inner foundation can transform your romantic relationships from the inside out.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/280

Beating yourself up might feel productive, but it's actually keeping you stuck in the same painful patterns. The real work of healing from trauma isn't about fixing all your problems or thinking positive thoughts. It's about developing self-love as a skill—a feeling you can generate in your body that becomes the fuel for different actions.

In this episode, I'm sharing why the skill of self-love isn't fluff. Through a specific process of recognizing when you're in a trauma response and bringing love to that moment, you can start to grow around your pain rather than trying to...

Life moves in seasons, just like the world around us. Summer turns to fall, winter melts into spring, and nature shows us how to flow with change. Yet in our own lives, we often fight those shifts—pushing ourselves to stay in “summer mode,” always productive, always busy, always trying to feel amazing.

In this episode, I’m sharing how to honor where you are right now and use each season to your advantage. You’ll discover why rest can be just as productive as action, how to nurture new growth, and when to harvest the wisdom your curre...

Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, life just keeps letting you down? Like you’re stuck in a cycle of disappointment that seems impossible to break? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. But chronic disappointment doesn’t have to be the way you live forever. 

In this episode, I’m showing you how to shift out of this cycle and finally experience the joy and fulfillment you’ve been waiting for. Learn how to move beyond disappointment, stop playing small, and start reclaiming the joy and satisfaction that’s waiting for you.

Get ful...

As a culture, we don’t know how to grieve. We’re expected to keep it together, stay strong, and move on, even though grief is one of the most universal human experiences. The truth is, when no one models how to grieve, it’s easy to feel lost, broken, or like you’re “doing it wrong.”

In this episode, I’m opening up about my own experiences with grief - the loss of my mom, my mother-in-law, and even beloved pets - and what I’ve learned along the way. When we allow ourselves to feel grief fully, it...

Feeling misunderstood is exhausting. When you’re worried about being too much or too hard to read, it’s easy to slip into performing instead of simply being yourself. And during summer, when social situations ramp up, that pressure to change or fit in can feel even heavier.

In this episode, I’m talking about why advocacy feels so hard and why our nervous systems often default to people-pleasing instead of speaking up. I’ll also share three practical communication strategies that help you ask for what you need without collapsing into shame or guilt. These tools will hel...

Emotional safety is more than just a buzzword. It’s the foundation for healing and thriving in every area of your life. But for many women, creating emotional safety can feel like an abstract idea. And honestly, it wasn’t until I really started to dig into it as a coach that I understood what it truly meant.

In this episode, I break down why emotional safety isn’t about being calm or waiting for others to “make” you feel safe, but rather starts when you go first. That means acknowledging your emotions and taking the steps to regulat...

If you’ve ever felt emotionally overwhelmed, mislabeled, or unsupported by traditional systems, this space is for you. I’m Amanda Hess, a trauma-informed life coach, and I’m here to help you reclaim your true identity beyond clinical labels and build radical self-trust.

In each episode, I share honest conversations, practical tools, and stories that will help you create emotional safety within yourself, set boundaries that honor your unique experience, and stop trying to fix yourself. If you’re ready to break free from shame, overwhelm, and the pressure to perform, hit follow now and join me on th...

Do you always think that you're the problem? Are you constantly trying to be more perfect? Are you angry at others and don't quite know why? In this episode, I'm exploring how internalized shame shows up in our everyday thoughts and behaviors, often disguised as perfectionism, resentment, or self-criticism.

You'll discover practical ways to recognize shame when it arises, understand why it can't be white-knuckled away, and learn how to grow your capacity to feel difficult emotions through nervous system regulation. And I'll guide you through the process of shining a light on shame, releasing its grip...

Self-trust starts to erode when you’re constantly beating yourself up over past mistakes. But lack of self-trust isn’t a character flaw. It’s conditioning. And the key to building radical self-trust isn't about eliminating negative thoughts or becoming perfect. It’s about learning to hold two truths at once: yes, those conditioned thoughts are loud and familiar, and yes, you can still build trust in yourself.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to process fear and doubt without letting them control you, how to take radical responsibility without self-abuse, and how to plant new...

You’ve tried it all - podcasts, self-help books, courses. And yet, somehow, you always end up back where you started. The strategies that work for everyone else leave you feeling more broken, more stuck, and wondering what’s wrong with you. But here’s the thing: the problem isn’t your willpower, and it definitely isn’t your motivation. The real issue is that traditional methods don’t address what’s going on beneath the surface.

In this episode, I’m sharing the four steps you need to go from feeling stuck, unseen, and misunderstood to a place of peace...

You don’t need a rigid routine — you need a framework that supports your sensitivity, your energy, and your capacity.

Let’s design a summer that works for you.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

In this week's episode, I'm addressing something that so many women struggle with quietly: feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Whether you grew up as the peacemaker in a volatile home or you've just always been the one who fixes things for everyone, this pattern of emotional enmeshment keeps you stuck in survival mode.

You'll discover why trying to regulate everyone else leaves no one regulating you, how to build emotional boundaries without pushing people away, and practical tools for staying rooted in your own nervous system when someone else is spinning out. Most importantly, you'll learn...

The expectations are relentless — to plan the vacations, hold the emotions, run the household, keep it all “fun.”

Let’s burn that list and make a different one.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

You’re not lazy. You’re dysregulated.

If you find yourself zoning out, doom scrolling, or avoiding everything — you’re not alone.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

Everyone else seems fine. So why does this season feel so heavy for you?

Let’s talk about why your emotional experience of summer is valid — and why it’s not your fault.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

Summer can be a lot when you're sensitive, neurodivergent, or simply wired to experience the world deeply. The lack of routine, constant sensory input, and the pressure to “be fun” can quickly turn what should be a carefree season into a full-blown performance.

But here’s the truth: having a burnout-free summer isn't about changing your mindset or pushing through. What you really need is a softer structure—one that works with your nervous system, not against it.

In this episode, I’m sharing a three-part framework to help you create anchors (not rigid routines), build in b...

When you find yourself scrolling through your phone instead of spending time with family, or lying in bed when it's beautiful outside, your body has figured out something you haven't yet. You are stressed out, checked out, and shut down.

In this episode, I explore why so many women feel stuck in shutdown mode, especially during summer when expectations are high and routines are out the window. I break down how even positive experiences like beach days and family barbecues can dysregulate sensitive nervous systems, and why motivation is terrible fuel that will only create more stress...

Summer arrives with the promise of freedom and relaxation, yet for many of us, it delivers the exact opposite - a whirlwind of overstimulation, unpredictable schedules, and mounting pressure to create perfect memories. If your experience of summer is never as relaxing as you wish it would be, listen in this week. 

I share three essential insights for creating a summer that actually works for your life. You'll discover practical strategies for regulating your nervous system, setting boundaries that honor your capacity, and designing intentional recovery time into your days - so you can stop performing summer f...

Summer arrives with the promise of freedom and relaxation, yet for many of us, it delivers the exact opposite - a whirlwind of overstimulation, unpredictable schedules, and mounting pressure to create perfect memories. If your experience of summer is never as relaxing as you wish it would be, listen in this week. 

I share three essential insights for creating a summer that actually works for your life. You'll discover practical strategies for regulating your nervous system, setting boundaries that honor your capacity, and designing intentional recovery time into your days - so you can stop performing summer f...

Setting boundaries can feel like a radical and scary act, especially if you've spent years people-pleasing. The discomfort that comes with saying no often feels worse than the exhaustion of constantly saying yes. For those who feel deeply and strongly, this challenge becomes even more complex because you've likely learned to take responsibility for other people's comfort, feelings, and reactions.

In this episode, I explore why boundary-setting feels like disconnection for deep feelers and highly sensitive people. You'll discover practical strategies for moving through the guilt that inevitably shows up when you start setting boundaries. Most importantly...

Setting boundaries can feel like a radical and scary act, especially if you've spent years people-pleasing. The discomfort that comes with saying no often feels worse than the exhaustion of constantly saying yes. For those who feel deeply and strongly, this challenge becomes even more complex because you've likely learned to take responsibility for other people's comfort, feelings, and reactions.

In this episode, I explore why boundary-setting feels like disconnection for deep feelers and highly sensitive people. You'll discover practical strategies for moving through the guilt that inevitably shows up when you start setting boundaries. Most importantly...

Have you ever been told you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or simply “not normal”? Those labels can feel like a life sentence - but they’re nothing more than stories you’ve been handed. Today, I dismantle the idea that you must hunt down and “fix” what’s wrong with you; instead, I re-frame intense emotions and unique wiring as invitations to understand yourself on a deeper level.

I also unpack how pathologizing everyday human experiences keeps women tangled in self-doubt. By shifting from judgment to curiosity, you’ll see how not fitting the mold can become a powerful source of i...

Have you ever been told you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or simply “not normal”? Those labels can feel like a life sentence - but they’re nothing more than stories you’ve been handed. Today, I dismantle the idea that you must hunt down and “fix” what’s wrong with you; instead, I re-frame intense emotions and unique wiring as invitations to understand yourself on a deeper level.

I also unpack how pathologizing everyday human experiences keeps women tangled in self-doubt. By shifting from judgment to curiosity, you’ll see how not fitting the mold can become a powerful source o...

Emotional overwhelm can feel like a full-body shutdown - racing thoughts, physical tension, and an overwhelming urge to escape. When these intense feelings take over, it's not because we're broken or dramatic. Our nervous system is simply doing its job, without proper context for the modern world.

As a coach, I see clients trapped in stress responses they can't seem to escape from. Whether it manifests as panic attacks, procrastination, or people-pleasing, these automatic reactions stem from our nervous system's attempt to keep us safe. Through my own experience with emotional overwhelm and working with countless clients, I've di...

Emotional overwhelm can feel like a full-body shutdown - racing thoughts, physical tension, and an overwhelming urge to escape. When these intense feelings take over, it's not because we're broken or dramatic. Our nervous system is simply doing its job, without proper context for the modern world.

As a coach, I see clients trapped in stress responses they can't seem to escape from. Whether it manifests as panic attacks, procrastination, or people-pleasing, these automatic reactions stem from our nervous system's attempt to keep us safe. Through my own experience with emotional overwhelm and working with countless clients...

One extremely common experience among sensitive women is the exhausting push-pull of feeling simultaneously being "too much" and "not enough." Through my own journey and experiences coaching others, I've witnessed how this internal conflict affects our relationships, self-worth, and ability to show up authentically.

In this episode, I share my perspective on why intensity and emotional depth shouldn't be viewed as flaws that need fixing, but rather as unique gifts that make us who we are. This mindset shift is crucial for those of us who've spent years trying to dial down our natural enthusiasm o...

Are you an emotionally intense woman who’s ever felt like you’re just too much—or maybe not enough? On this podcast, I help you break free from shame, overwhelm, and the pressure to fit into someone else’s boxes.  

I’m Amanda Hess, trauma-informed life coach, and each week we dive into building self-trust, setting authentic boundaries, and embracing who you truly are beyond labels. It’s time to create emotional safety and reclaim your identity—without trying to fix yourself. 

Follow now, and learn how to start loving yourself, no matter what!

Interested...

"I feel guilty after speaking up for myself." "They probably think I'm a b*tch." "I should have said that nicer."

Do these thoughts sound familiar to you? The guilt you feel after stating what you want isn't random or your fault - it's systematic conditioning.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why we feel this pressure to be "easygoing," where the guilt comes from when we advocate for ourselves, and how to build emotional resilience. I'll show you why feeling bad about having needs doesn't mean you're doing something wrong...

Are you constantly smiling and nodding when you really want to scream "No!"? I've been there, too. That feeling of saying yes when your body and mind are begging you to decline is a symptom of something deeper – the good girl narrative that's been ingrained in us since childhood.

The cost of living as a good girl is enormous. We chase external validation, overfunction in every area of life, and end up burnt out, resentful, and disconnected from our authentic selves. But there is a way out, and in this week's episode, I share it wit...

Welcome to the How to Love Yourself No Matter What podcast with Amanda Hess. In this episode, Amanda dives deep into a topic so many of us struggle with: feeling responsible for everyone around us. If you’re the person everyone relies on, the peacekeeper holding it all together, or someone who’s secretly exhausted but scared to stop, this episode is for you.

Drawing from her personal experiences and work as a certified life coach, Amanda unpacks why so many women feel trapped by the belief that they must be the strong one, and how this thin...

If you’ve ever felt like you just can’t handle rejection, this episode is for you. Amanda Hess dives deep into rejection sensitivity—what it is, where it comes from, and how it affects the way we think and feel, especially for those who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma.

Key Takeaways:

What is rejection sensitivity?

Amanda discusses how rejection sensitivity is the tendency to feel real or perceived rejection more intensely than others, leading to heightened emotions, misreading social cues, and sometimes overreacting to neutral interactions.

Why are some people...

We say we want peace, but what we really need is emotional safety—the ability to be with ourselves, feel any emotion, and know we can handle it.

This 18-minute episode dives into a truth that’s often overlooked in the self-help world. Peace isn’t about having a quiet life—it’s about having a strong inner world.

🧠 Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

00:00 – 01:45

📍 Why “peace” isn’t what you think it is

Amanda shares how this episode—originally recorded for private clients—turns into a universal message. The most common client request? “I just want...

Burnout isn’t just being tired or overwhelmed—it’s what happens when your nervous system is totally tapped out. This episode is a wake-up call and a reframe. I break down what burnout really is, what it’s not, and how to start healing without adding more pressure to your already packed plate.

[00:00–01:25]

📍 Let's reframe burnout

I kick things off by calling out the biggest misunderstanding about burnout: we think it’s situational, but the truth is deeper. Burnout is when your nervous system says, “I’m done.” It's not weakness—it's a stress overload.