School Behaviour Secrets with Simon Currigan and Emma Shackleton

After a difficult behaviour incident, how do you rebuild your relationship with a pupil who's sworn at you, become aggressive or stormed out of your classroom? And whose responsibility is it to make the first move?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you'll discover why repairing adult-pupil relationships isn't just important for the child - it's also in your own professional interests. You'll learn why pupils who've experienced trauma, or who have certain SEND needs, may find it particularly difficult to reconnect after a confrontation, and why waiting for them to initiate that repair can make...

What do the latest behaviour, SEND and attendance statistics actually tell us about what’s happening in schools?

In this episode, you’ll explore five recent figures that raise important questions about suspensions, SEND support, attendance and the pressures facing school staff. You’ll hear why headline data can hide what’s really happening underneath, why pupils on SEN Support may need closer attention and why behaviour data is most useful when it leads us to better questions rather than quick conclusions.

You’ll learn:

• Why primary suspension rates are moving differently to the national...

Does your class work well independently, but the moment you put them into groups, the noise goes up, chairs start scraping and everything begins to unravel?

Group work places more demands on pupils than we sometimes realise - from moving around the room and managing resources to remembering instructions, negotiating with other pupils and switching attention.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn five simple ways to make those transitions smoother and help pupils settle more quickly into group work.

You’ll discover:

• How to pretutor expectations before pupils...

Ever used your calmest voice with an upset pupil, only to find it winds them up even more? You’re trying to help, but somehow your calming strategy is making things worse.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll explore the difference between sounding calm and helping a pupil feel understood. Through a familiar classroom scenario, you’ll hear how well-intentioned responses can add pressure, and why showing some emotion can sometimes communicate more empathy than a perfectly soothing voice.

You’ll learn:

• Why being regulated doesn’t mean being emotionally flat.
 •...

If pupils are marked present, but still spend large parts of the school day hiding in the toilets, wandering corridors or visiting the medical room – have you solved your internal truancy problem, or just moved it somewhere else?

In this episode, you’ll learn about emotionally based internal truancy, or EBIT - an informal way of thinking about pupils who make it into school but struggle to access the classroom.

You’ll discover how to balance safe toilet access with clear expectations around lesson attendance, why restricting access may treat the symptom rather than the cause...

Have you ever taught a pupil who produces excellent work most of the time, but becomes overwhelmed, angry or tearful after making one tiny mistake? Perfectionism can look like a positive quality from the outside, yet it may be hiding intense anxiety underneath.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why some perfectionist pupils are more vulnerable to dysregulation and how to distinguish healthy high standards from a fear-driven need to avoid mistakes.

You’ll also discover the two different motivations behind perfectionism, what research tells us about anxious pupils’ responses to errors...

Why do some pupils smile, deny what happened, blame someone else or become angry when they're challenged about their behaviour?

Sometimes, what looks like defiance or a lack of remorse may actually be a defence against shame.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you'll learn:

- The important difference between guilt and shame - and why it matters for behaviour

- Why shame doesn't always look like shame, and can sometimes appear as smiling, blame, denial or aggression

- How shame can contribute to a cycle of dysregulation...

Some pupils never put their hand up. They never admit they’re stuck. But then they fall behind while everyone assumes they’re coping.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why asking for help can feel threatening for some pupils and the hidden coping strategies they use instead - from copying others’ work to trying to become invisible in the classroom.

You’ll also discover the simple SAFE approach for understanding why pupils stay silent, and how the PAIN Framework can help you uncover the needs driving their behaviour so you can respon...

The final week of term should feel positive - but when routines disappear, emotions rise and pupils realise the year is ending, behaviour can quickly start to unravel.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn how to keep the end of term calm, structured and meaningful without removing all the fun. We’ll look at why pupils often become silly, emotional or unsettled before the holidays, how to balance high-energy activities with calm “landing” tasks, and how to help children look back with pride while feeling ready for what comes next.

You’ll also di...

School leaders are facing increasingly complex SEMH needs, rising pressure around behaviour and inclusion, and more uncertainty about what effective support should look like in practice.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll hear what schools are telling us right now about SEMH leadership, why it can feel so difficult, and what leaders need in order to move forward confidently with SEMH and behaviour.

You’ll also find out about Beacon School Support’s first National SEMH Conference and how it can help you move SEMH forward in your school – perfect for school leaders...

Some behaviour problems don’t start with defiance, disruption or poor emotional control. They actually start when pupils use relationships to humiliate or exclude another child in their friendship group.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll discover how Relational Aggression affects pupils in both primary and secondary schools, why it’s so easy for adults to miss and how it can drive anxiety, dysregulation and sudden changes in behaviour.

You’ll also find out how the PAIN Framework can help understand what’s really driving the behaviours of both the victim and the aggres...

Have you noticed some pupils seem more anxious, avoidant or dysregulated at this time of year - even when nothing obvious has changed in the classroom?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why exams, transition days, new classes, secondary transfer and end-of-year changes can increase anxiety for pupils.

You’ll discover why some children aren’t just reacting to what’s happening now - they’re reacting to what they think is coming next. Plus we’ll look at how anticipatory anxiety can show up as behaviour, from reassurance-seeking and withdrawal to refusal...

Got a tricky class that feels harder to teach than it should?

Sometimes the problem isn’t one big behaviour issue - it’s the smaller repeated issues that drain everyone’s attention, patience and energy.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we look at why some classes feel so difficult to manage, how problematic routines can create hidden workload for teachers and pupils, and why simply telling pupils what to do once is rarely enough.

You’ll discover why children don’t always transfer good behaviour from one classroom to another, and how cl...

Have you ever had a pupil come back from lunch looking fine - only to refuse work, argue, shout or completely fall apart minutes later?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore why lunchtime isn’t always a break for every pupil. You’ll learn how social stress, sensory overload, unresolved conflict and tricky transitions can build up during lunch - then spill over into the afternoon lesson.

We’ll also look at what schools can do to make lunchtimes calmer, support vulnerable pupils more proactively and help children return to class ready to lea...

Have you ever used a behaviour strategy that worked brilliantly in the moment - only to find the same behaviour came back again the next day? And the next?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore why some short-term behaviour strategies appear to work because they reduce the immediate tension but can accidentally teach pupils or whole classes habits that make behaviour harder in the long run.

Most importantly, you’ll discover three simple questions that help break the cycle and move you – and your students - forwards.

Important links:<...

Are the quiet, compliant pupils in your classroom genuinely regulated - or just holding everything together?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore the important tension between compliance and regulation. Because while schools absolutely need routines, boundaries and clear expectations, “doing what we asked” doesn’t always mean a pupil is calm, settled or coping underneath.

You’ll learn why some pupils can appear fine in school but collapse at home, how masking and shutdown can be mistaken for good behaviour, and why visible compliance can sometimes hide anxiety, sensory overload, confusion or fear of...

What should you do when a pupil looks you in the eye, shrugs and says, “I don’t care”? It’s one of those classroom moments that can easily pull adults into a power battle. But while they sound disrespectful or deliberately provocative - what if those three words are not the whole story?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore what pupils might really be communicating when they say, “I don’t care,” why taking the words at face value can lead us in the wrong direction, and what to say and do when a pupil uses t...

When a pupil explodes over something small, it can look like their behaviour came out of nowhere.

But what if that “tiny trigger” wasn’t really the cause - just the final bit of pressure they could no longer cope with?

In this episode, you’ll learn how stress stacking affects dysregulated behaviour, why looking for one simple trigger can lead schools down the wrong path, and how to ask better questions after an incident so support is matched to the pupil’s real needs.

You’ll also hear a practical case study showing how...

Why do so many sensible school strategies fail, even when staff are trying their best?

In this episode, you’ll learn why attention-seeking behaviour is often a misleading label - and why two pupils can show very similar behaviour for completely different reasons.

Using the PAIN framework, you’ll discover how to look beneath the surface, identify the hidden drivers behind a child’s behaviour, and choose responses that actually match their needs.

You’ll also learn why adult attention can change behaviour in the short term, but won’t solve the problem on its own...

Why do so many sensible school strategies fail, even when staff are trying their best?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore one of the biggest challenges facing school leaders: consistency. Because having the right strategy is only half the battle - the real challenge is getting staff to understand it, apply it in practice and embed it over time.

Using the example of restorative conversations, you’ll learn how to use the ALIGN framework - a simple, practical model to help schools move from patchy implementation to a more consistent approach across st...

What if a pupil’s dysregulation isn’t just about behaviour - but about hidden executive function demands they can’t yet manage?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn how difficulties with executive function can fuel frustration, overload and emotional dysregulation in the classroom. Using a concrete case study and the PAIN framework, we unpack how challenges with holding information in mind and inhibiting impulses can quickly tip a child from not coping with work into shutdown, refusal or meltdown.

You’ll discover why this matters even more now executive function is being t...

The government’s new SEND reform paper proposes major changes to how schools support pupils with additional needs.

But what does it actually mean for mainstream schools, teachers and SENCOs?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we break down the key changes in the proposed SEND reforms and explains what they could mean for SEMH support in schools.

You’ll learn:

• Why mainstream schools will increasingly be expected to meet SEND needs earlier

• How the new layers of support (Universal, Targeted and Specialist provision) are designed to work

• W...

Some of the pupils who need the most support are the ones who refuse it.

They say they’re fine. They push adults away. They avoid check-ins, mentoring and pastoral support - then struggle or explode under pressure.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore why this happens, through the lens of avoidant attachment. Not as a label, but as a way of understanding why help itself can feel unsafe for some children.

You’ll learn why well-meaning support strategies sometimes backfire, what rejecting help is really communicating, and how small shif...

Why do children sometimes say things online they would never say face to face?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why social media can make behaviour escalate so quickly - and why it’s not simply about children being unkind. 

Drawing on psychology and real-world school experience, we explain how social media and messaging apps remove the natural feedback that helps children regulate their behaviour - and why that’s important.

You’ll come away with a brain-based framework to understand online cruelty in children that you can share with staf...

Emotional regulation is not a curriculum - and treating it like one backfires.

Many pupils can explain their emotions, name calming strategies, and talk confidently about what they “should” do… yet still struggle to cope when things get hard in the classroom.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why teaching emotional regulation as a set of lessons often doesn’t work, and how schools can accidentally make things worse by confusing facts about regulation with emotional regulation skills.

Using a real-world pupil story, we break down:

More children are struggling to cope with small setbacks in school.

Mistakes feel overwhelming. Frustration escalates quickly. And learning grinds to a halt.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore why this isn’t about children being “less resilient” - and why common advice like “push through” or “try harder” often makes things worse.

You’ll learn how modern home and school environments have reduced children’s opportunities to practise coping with difficulty - and what that means for behaviour, learning and staff workload.

You’ll discover:

Teachers are often told they need to be “more assertive” in the classroom.

But what does that actually mean when behaviour starts to wobble, pressure rises, and everyone’s watching?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn what assertiveness really looks like in practice - and why it isn’t about being louder, stricter, or more dominant. Instead, it’s about clarity, calm and making better decisions before you even open your mouth.

You’ll explore why many behaviour confrontations escalate because adults are focused on “winning” the moment, and how redefining wha...

In many schools, the SENCO role has become the pressure point where everything ends up - SEND, SEMH, behaviour, parent concerns, paperwork and managing crises and pupil outbursts.

And when that happens, how SEND and SEMH is supported across the school starts to break down.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why the SENCO job has become increasingly difficult even in caring, well-intentioned schools - and why this isn’t about individual failure.

You’ll see how a range of factors have unintentionally made the role of SENCO the single...

On paper, your behaviour policy makes sense… so why doesn’t it work in every classroom - and for every pupil?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn the 7 reasons why good behaviour policies often fail in good schools - even when leaders care, staff are committed and the intentions are right.

Drawing on nearly two decades of work with real schools, we unpack the hidden reasons behaviour policies stumble: why copying “best practice” from other settings can backfire, why consistency breaks down under pressure and what happens when policies are launched but never...

Restorative conversations are everywhere in schools right now. They’re written into behaviour policies, referenced in Ofsted language, and promoted as the gold standard for repairing harm and building accountability.

But what happens when those conversations don’t work - especially for pupils with SEND?

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why:

·         standard restorative conversations can break down for pupils with communication difficulties, empathy differences, trauma histories or rejection sensitive dysphoria

·         what restorative practice assumes about children’s skills, why some pupils struggle to access those conversations

·         how t...

In 2026 the government is going to make big changes in how schools handle behaviour, SEMH and inclusion.

The question is: are we ready for what that actually means?

In this episode, we makes a series of predictions about where the system is heading next year - not based on politics or policy promises, but on how schools really work when money, policy and classroom reality collide.

Some of these predictions may make you uncomfortable. Others may feel uncomfortably familiar.

But if you want a grounded, experience-led perspective on what’s coming...

Some of the most damaging ideas about behaviour in schools don’t sound wrong.

They sound kind.

They sound scientific.

They sound progressive.

And that’s exactly why they stick.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, Simon Currigan unpacks four popular SEMH myths that are quietly making behaviour worse - not because people mean badly, but because good ideas have been overstretched, oversimplified, and misunderstood.

You’ll explore:

The first week of January isn’t just “back to school” - it’s one of the most effective behaviour intervention points of the entire year. In this episode, we explore how to harness the psychology of the Fresh Start Effect to reset classroom routines, rebuild relationships and help pupils begin the new term with confidence rather than shame.

You’ll discover:

• Why January works better than September for behaviour resets

• How to create whole-class “New Year resolutions” that shift identity, not just rules

• A powerful symbolic activity to help individual pupils let go of las...

When a pupil goes from “fine” to “furious” because you asked them to correct one sentence, it’s easy to think they’re overreacting. But for many children with ADHD, even small corrections can feel like rejection - triggering intense emotional pain known as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn what RSD actually is, why it’s so strongly linked with ADHD, and how it shows up in the classroom through explosive moments, sudden shutdowns, perfectionism, or quiet withdrawal.

You’ll learn how feedback can unintentionally trigger RSD, why some pupi...

Christmas is exciting… but in schools, it can also send behaviour spiralling.

Between nativity rehearsals, parties, Christmas jumper day, and all the glitter-induced chaos, many pupils tip from festive fun to full-on overwhelm faster than you can say “silent night.”

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why December is such a challenging month for regulation, the hidden SEMH pressures pupils face and the simple changes that help children stay settled so they can actually enjoy the fun.

You’ll learn:

Ever had that moment where your reward system just… stops working? The stickers lose their sparkle, the house points barely register, and suddenly every child in your class is asking, “What do I get if I follow the rules?” It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting, and it leaves you wondering what on earth to try next.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we unpack why reward systems lose power over time – and what the science of motivation says we should be doing instead. We’ll explore the hedonic treadmill, reward inflation, and the classic study that shows how easy...

When pupils show persistent, emotionally escalated behaviour, it’s easy to focus on the surface - the shouting, the refusal, the walking out  - and miss the real cause.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to use the PAIN framework (Physical, Emotional, Cognitive, Social, Prosocial, and Transition needs) to help your pupils make progress with their SEMH needs. You’ll follow the story of Liam, an 11-year-old pupil whose behaviour seemed oppositional - until the PAIN lens revealed hidden what was happening below the surface and driving his behaviour.

You’ll discover:

Got a class that just won’t stop talking? The kind where the chatter keeps creeping back in, no matter how many times you settle them? We feel your pain!

In this episode, we explain why the problem isn’t talk itself, but unstructured talk - and how to turn your class’s social energy and exuberance into focus, rather than frustration.

You’ll discover the T3 Method: a simple way of structuring your lesson, so pupils get the connection and verbal processing time they need, while keeping your lesson productive and the learning moving forward...

Ever worked with a pupil who argues about everything — even the things they secretly agree with?

In this episode, we unpack Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) — what it is, what it isn’t, and why traditional approaches like confrontation or “tougher boundaries” often backfire.

You’ll discover:

Ever get to Friday and feel like your emotional battery’s is fried? You’re not alone. Working in education — especially when supporting pupils with SEMH needs — means carrying other people’s emotions all day long. By the end of the week, you’re not just tired, you’re emotionally done.

In this shorter half-term quickfire episode, we dive into the emotional side of teaching — and how to protect your emotional wellbeing in just five minutes a day. You’ll learn simple, practical steps to help your nervous system switch off after a long day of teaching, so you can recharg...