We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast

In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into ethical non-monogamy in a new format and market. This property is set on the cliffs of western Jamaica and is absolutely stunning! The views, the service, the food, the entertainment, the sensual vibe and of course the sexy people were all amazing! Spoiler alert: you won't be disappointed....

Mentioned in this episode:

The Resort website

Music by Pornoson (used with permission)

Devious Dragonfly Events<...

Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection, we break down the key components at play including New Relationship Energy (NRE), Novelty, Desensation, the 'Pleasure Paradox' and how all of this shows up in our relationships. Of course we also discuss ways to recognize and respond when armed with this new knowledge!

Discussed in this episode: 

Expansive Connection Coaching

The Hidden Brain Podcast: The Paradox of Pleasure

The Hidden Brain Podcast: The P...

What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most important characteristics of a power couple in the lifestyle:

Important Links:

Contact Mr Jones to request a WGT community trial discount promo code

Get access to the free We Gotta Thing Information Hub collection of resources

Learn how to be successful as a single guy in the lifestyle

Learn how to talk to...

Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His training, experience, and specialization in religion and theology provides a helpful framework and understanding for those with religious backgrounds who find themselves struggling with their belief systems or plagued by shame, guilt, and fear over what they've been taught or once believed.

Dr Mitch's Education and Certifications

One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease. We invited Alan Brock, CEO, and Dr William Budd, Scientific Advisor from Better Life Sciences and STD Hero testing to discuss the realities, myths, modern testing practices and services available today.

We believe awareness and education along with affordable and accessible testing services comprise the most important aspects to create the best opportunity for safer sex for all in today's world.

Mentioned in this episode:

Better Life Science...

We all know that all relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, will change over time. Many of those changes will lead to the relationship ending. But does it have to end? Why can't the dynamics of a relationship change while preserving the friendship through it's next phase? Kel from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to discuss how to navigate these changes in a way that can preserve and often grow the relationship!

Expansive Connection Coaching

We Gotta Thing Community 

This 'ask us anything' episode was recorded live at our 9th annual group trip to Desire Pearl. Not only did we answer questions but our friends helped us out by contributing as well.

Use Promo Code: WGT100 to receive $100 off our annual WGT premium community membership between now and January 4, 2026.

As a follow up to our episode 142, we hear from Catherine about how the ending of her marriage is affecting her coaching business at Expansive Connection. Will her clients still trust her as a coach? Has this loss made her job more difficult when discussing non-monogamy with her clients? Does she feel like a bit of an imposter? Will this experience make her a better coach? Would you see a coach who has lost her marriage after becoming non-monogamous? Listen in to find out!

Safety Statements

Join our We Gotta Thing community here!

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We are joined by Dedeker, Emily and Jase from the Multiamory* podcast to discuss the similarities and differences between the swinging lifestyle and polyamory! We also talk about what exactly New Relationship Energy (NRE) is and how we can recognize and navigate those strong feelings and emotions when they hit you or someone you love.

*Multiamory centers multiple forms of love- everything from monogamy to nonmonogamy, casual dating to queerplatoni partnerships, married couples living separately to those who are single by choice, and everything in between.

The Multiamory Podcast and Team

This episode gets very real and very personal. Catherine, from Expansive Connection Relationship Coaching, tells her story of how her marriage fell apart while engaged in a non-monogamous relationship with her husband. Many couples fear this type of loss when considering and moving into and through non-monogamy. Catherine courageously shares her story so that others may benefit and be fully prepared for making such an important relationship decision.

Expansive Connection Coaching

We Gotta Thing Episode 41- A Licensed Counselor Breaks Down Jealousy

Making Polyamory Work Episode- Coming Out to Your Kids

...

Join us and Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching as we discuss the six most important things those new to the lifestyle need to know and us veterans of the lifestyle need always to remember:

Expansive Connection Coaching

We Gotta Thing Community

We Gotta Thing Website

We Gotta Thing on Instagram

None of us are immune from having 'real life' issues disrupt our relationship or our current life plans and goals. Health issues, family responsibilities, career changes and relocations are just a few of the things that we can expect to encounter in life that will change our priorities. After just over a year of not playing with others in the lifestyle we are happy to announce we are back in the game! Listen in to learn why we stopped, what we had to work through as a couple, what we learned and how we decided to reengage with others...

In episode 136 Kel, from Expansive Connection Coaching explained all nine Enneagram personality types and motivations. Listen in on this real-time coaching session as Kel reveals the Enneagram results of Mr & Mrs Jones and helps them understand their types and how to better value and understand each other as life partners.

Episode Resources:

Books

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso; Russ Hudson

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron; Suzanne Stabile

Podcast Series

Enneagram 2.0

Websites

Enneagram Institute

...

When we hear the word 'swinger' or 'lifestyle' the first time we may think of key parties, sleezy sex clubs, orgies with strangers and lots of perverted people who will have sex with anyone. With how non-monogamy is portrayed in some movies and television shows it's not surprising that many of us have this perception!

During our most recent trip to Desire Riviera Maya we asked the couples to tell us how they would describe the world of non-monogamy to others and how that description has changed from their pre-lifestyle perceptions.

Join us as we chat with the founder of a brand new lifestyle vacation spot in Jamaica- 'The Resort.' This upscale venue gives lifestyle travelers an additional and much needed option for a sexy vacation as ethical non-monogamy becomes more mainstream around the world.

Visit their website for more details and information about membership and booking!

Join us as Kel from Expansive Connection explains the Enneagram system which offers numerous benefits for personal and professional development by providing insights into motivations, behaviors, and relationships. It helps individuals understand their core personality type, strengths, weaknesses, and how they interact with others. This understanding can lead to improved self-awareness, better communication, stronger relationships, and a better connection with others in the lifestyle!

Episode Resources:

Books

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso; Russ Hudson

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron; Suzanne Stabile

...

This 'Origin Story' format episode features our friends Kurt & Vicki and highlights another unique journey into and through non-monogamy. Perhaps their story of working through issues will resonate with those who struggle with things from 'the past' and how previous life experiences can interfere with fully enjoying the lifestyle.

Mentioned in this episode:
We Gotta Thing Community
Kasidie and SDC
Club Sapphire 

Are you considering trying non-monogamy or perhaps learning how to navigate the swinging lifestyle environment? Are you paralyzed by the 'what-ifs?' What if my partner falls in love with someone else? What if I get jealous? What if no one is attracted to me? What if we are outed at swingers? 

You are not alone! Jason from Expansive Connection joins Mr & Mrs Jones to discuss how to better understand and work through these common 'what-if' fears shared by but also overcome by many.

So you think you've got what it takes to be 'successful' in the swinging lifestyle? From our 11 years of experience, we share what we believe to be the most important attributes a person or couple must have to fully enjoy all the benefits of non-monogamy.

We also announce the official opening of a new lifestyle resort in Jamaica simply called The Resort (and share a couple of sexy snaphots). Care to join us?

Why do we usually react to the word 'different' as something negative? Our differences can help us to learn more about ourselves which can lead to individual growth as well as strengthen our relationships. Kel from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this episode to help us understand how and why we react to something different and gives us tools to help explore them and turn those differences into opportunities for growth!

What makes the WGT community unique? We are not a dating site. We are not like a Facebook group. Nor are we similar to a Discord server, a Slack channel, a Zoom meeting or a WhatsApp conversation.

What are we then?

We are a community full of real people in real relationships who are looking to explore, learn, share and interact with others in a safe, non-judgmental and secure virtual environment.

What will you gain in one year by joining us?

Mastered Communication – You'll have developed unshakable confidence in open and ho...

Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to help define that 'squishy' term that is a result of some combination of 'swinging' and 'polyamory.' She then discusses pro's and con's of what to expect when creating your own brand of 'swolly' and then shares tips on how to successfully communicate and navigate along the way.

Resources mentioned during this episode:

Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast- The New Monogamy with Dr. Tammy Nelson

The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Quiz

You're awake again at 3:00am. You can't go back to sleep. You calculate how much sleep you'll have if you go back to sleep right now. Then, while staring at the ceiling, a voice inside your head decides to make up a (absolutely truthful and believable) story about a missed opportunity with another couple and why they aren't responding to your messages to meet again....

Sound familiar? In this episode Meshai from Expansive Connection helps us to understand where that voice is coming from, how to recognize the lack of logic in that voice and how to...

We are contantly bombarded with lifestyle symbols and the promises they bring of attracting lifestyle couples to us in our day-to-day lives! From upside down pineapples in the grocery store, to black rings on the right ring finger, to white rocks at the end of the driveway, to wearing jewelry that brings special powers.

Some content creators, lifestyle businesses and marketers exploit our collective desire to stay anonymous while at the same time magically attracting others into our secret lives with little or no effort at all.

In this episode we discuss how to both...

What is trust not? Trust is not a feeling that someone else creates in us with their actions.

Some of us think we can trust people only when they are doing what we want them to do so we don't feel uncomfortable things we don't want to feel. Additionally, trust is not using other people as our emotional security blankets.

Our brains love predictability and safety so when someone doesn't behave in the ways we want them to we can feel unsafe, or in others words, we may 'freak out' a bit!

Kel...

Fearing or experiencing jealousy is one of the biggest reasons couples either don't try the lifestyle or don't last in the lifestyle. Why is that? It's more complex than we realize! Join us as Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching helps us to understand the many flavors of jealousy to include envy, comparison, performance insecurities, fear of abandonment and many more.

Download the complete list of the flavors of jealousy here!

Please join us in celebrating 10 years recording the We Gotta Thing podcast! This is a very special episode recorded live with a group of our closest friends at the Desire Pearl resort. We thank all of our listeners and community members for the steadfast support and look forward to recording many more episodes in the years to come! Cheers!

Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we dive into the topic of being rejected in the lifestyle. We all experience the negative emotions when rejected by others and Meshai helps us to understand why we feel this way and how to process and respond to these feelings.

Why do we want to connect with others? What are some ways we connect with others? What types of connections may we experience? How do we stay connected? What happens if we become disconnected with others? We explore possible answers to these questions to better prepare ourselves for what we may face as we explore the lifestyle and engage with others.

Jason from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this month to discuss the 'non-quantifiable' work involved in exploring non-monogamy. Based on our WGT episode 100 in which we discuss the quantifiable work, we now dig in to consider things like being intentional, being present, staying engaged, investing ourselves and our time and much more.

Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barcelona and discuss our first local lifestyle meet and greet since our big move south.

Kel from Expansive Connection coaching joins us to discuss some of the benefits and challenges one may encounter when choosing to explore the non-monogamous lifestyle. Kel shares from her perspective of being a certified relationship coach and also from her experience being non-monogamous with her partner.

Resources mentioned:

We Gotta Thing podcast episode 33: "How the Lifestyle Strengthens our Relationship"

We Gotta Thing podcast episode 41: "A Licensed Counselor (and swinger) Breaks Down Jealousy"

Sex and Psychology by Justin Lehmiller- podcast episode 215: "Dealing in Differences in Relationships"

Having experienced counseling ourselves over the past few months, we invite Catherine from Expansive Connection to talk with us about how those in non-monogamous relationships benefit from getting guidance from professionals. Also, we share some exciting news about the future of the We Gotta Thing podcast! 

Listen in as we review the brand new "The Eden" section of Desire Riviera Maya! We also enlist the help of many of our friends in a live recording from the resort to share how they challenged themselves to become a bit 'less vanilla' during our recent group trip.

Most of us have mastered being 'adult-like' in all aspects of our lives. We are experienced at life. We are parents, spouses/partners, coaches, employees, teachers, leaders and friends. We've become accustomed to situations that require a mature and thoughtful response (most of the time anyway!).

However, when engaged in non-monogamy we can experience new things and perhaps even some new feelings. We are sharing ourselves and our partners initmately with others. Our relationship is now at risk so the stakes are high. Situations will arise that invoke strong emotions in a way we may not have...

Being vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because we're worried about people knowing too much about us. We don't want to be known. We're here just to have some sexy fun, right?

In this episode we talk about how being vulnerable has led to some amazing friendships as well as a lot of sexy fun with people who care. The more we share the more we gain confidence, become more attractive to others and most importantly discover our authentic...

Are you the type of person who puts the feelings of others above of your own? Do you want to have a stronger voice when someone suggests something you don't necessarily want to do? You are not alone! Listen in as we discuss how and why this happens in a non-monogamous lifestyle and what the potential fallout, consequences and sometimes benefits can be!

We explore the perceptions and realities of what, exactly a kiss can mean to those in the lifestyle community. Does granting a kiss commit me to a sexual experience? Why do some couples have a 'no kissing' rule? How do I gain consent to give a kiss? Can giving someone a kiss send the wrong message?

A kiss may sound like a simple thing but it's anything but that to those exploring and experiencing the world of non-monogamy.

Listen in on our live recording from Desire Pearl where our guests discuss their unique perspectives, perceptions and realities of the term 'clothing optional.' Most of us struggle with self-confidence and have body-image issues so the idea of being naked in front of others can cause anxiety and fear. After hearing stories from other 'real people' we can better understand what it's all about and how it can help us discover and grow into our real selves. Being naked is a good thing!

Join Mr & Mrs Jones and they interview "Scott & Kelly." This couple's journey into the lifestyle sounds like many other origin stories but then takes a bit of a turn when a family member shares some unexpected news. In another suprising twist the lifestyle community jumps in for a big assist to help and support them work through an interesting dilemma.