The Spinal Abyss

Get out your CrockPot, your cookbooks, your blenders and your full moon-charged crystals. That's right, this week our intrepid hosts take on the touchy yet misunderstood subject of WITCHES. Small disclaimer: All of their opinions on the matter are just that... Opinions. They don't know everything and they don't pretend to. They just have some thoughts on the matter. Mainly Briana. A lot of Briana thoughts here. Discussion topics include: Witchcraft, the patriarchy, the church, why men hate women, why the church hates women, why the church hates witchcraft, why women hate men, the practical magic of singing to...

They mostly made another "Alien" episode... mostly. That's right, this week we wrap up our discussion of the "Alien" franchise when talking about "Prometheus" (2012), "Alien: Covenant" (2017), "Alien: Romulus" (2025) and the FXX series "Alien: Earth" (2025). Discussion topics include: Corporations and their inability to stay out of politics, the creepy affectations of Timothy Olyphant, the eventual rise of artificial intelligence, Nazi robots and just how much one man can loathe everything about "The Boys"? SPOILER ALERT: Tommy hates it. A lot. A lot, a lot. Whole bunches, in fact. One could say... oodles.

Mount up, proud Weyland-Yutani employees! This week, we tackle the original entries in the "Alien" franchise starting with the OG goat "Alien" (1979), "Aliens" (1986), "Alien 3" (1992) and the seminal classic "Alien: Resurrection" (1997). Subjects discussed include: Billionaires and the search for youth, corporate America, the enduring fiscal solvency of Walmart and a whole bunch of thoughts on H.R. Giger and phallus..es? Phallusi? Phallus's? Tube shaped things...?

Velcome back, dear mortals! This week we take some time to give some flowers to our beloved horror and discuss the recent achievement of the film "Sinners" starring MIchael B. Jordan (and some other people Bri is not going to remember because they look nothing like Michael B. Jordan) and take some time to talk about our plasma-addled neck-suckers, the eponymous VAMPIRE of the times. So take some iron, throw on some garlic and come along as we delve the crypts of our relationship with our favorite bloodfiends. Discussion topics include: The Oscars treatment of horror, MIchael B. Jordan's...

This week, we take a look (begrudgingly) at the film adaptations of the "Silent Hill" video game franchise. Are they good? No. Are they bad? Not entirely. But mostly, yes. So grab your static-riddled radio, your never-trusty flashlight and an unmistakably brown bottle of anti-psychotics and join us as we try to discern what went right and what went horribly, horribly wrong with these films. Topics include: Video game movies and the plethora of reasons we shouldn't make them, a growing concern over Princess Zelda, Tommy's ability to withstand trauma for the sake of those he loves and the...

Happy Wednesday, friends! This week, we take a look at a type of horror that applies to not only our literary and film interest but also, LITERALLY EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES AT THIS POINT IN HISTORY. That's right, we're talking Dystopian Fiction. So come along with us as we dip a toe or two into such topics as: Brave New World, Orwellian nightmares, gender equality, Tommy's unending battle against The Patriarchy from the inside of it, an amount of Star Wars love and genuine fear and trepidation in regards to how the world is being run in 2026. It's...

Beep beep, listeners! That's right, it's time for the most unholy and utterly terrifying discussion of one of our favorite books, movies, mini-series and expansion series: Stephen King's "IT". We've avoided it long enough so this week, we dip our toe into the Macroverse and the clown-shaped horrors of Pennywise and the story of our favorite Losers. Discussion topics include: clowns, spiders, clowns that turn into spiders, spider-shaped clowns, the importance of reading the source material, career choice of Tim Curry, character crossover, HBO's "Welcome To Derry" and the seminal idea of coming-of-age stories. You'll all float down here!<...

Thats right gang! We're doing a little bit of viewer/listener mail. You all have been so kind and stuck with us thus far and now we're gonna answer a bit of your questions and let you get to know us a little bit. Topics include: High school, teenage angst, some horror-based Coming Soon type teasing, explanations of Tommy's ability to read like a monster and a whole lot of sibling-esque love. Thank you for all of your questions and stick with us! It's only gonna get better, we promise!

Clive Barker's "Hellraiser"... What a magically atrocious ride you are. This week we dig into the morbidly erotic and sticky-icky first two entries into the "Hellraiser" franchise along with the 2022 "reboot". Yes, we're aware that there are 8 other movies in-between them. But given the fact that they are mostly horrible, we stick with the actually good ones and let the chips fall where they may. So come have a ripping and tearing good time as we talk Pinhead, Cenobites, maligned ideals of BDSM, the ever-present importance of consent and the practical applications of chains and/or hooks.

To the Victor go the spoils... And boy does Victor spoil everything. This week we take on the seminal classic gothic horror of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", the lasting effect of her novel, the many, many, MANY iterations of such a creature up to and including Guillermo Del Toro's latest... version? Stick with us, take the bolts out of your neck and try not to stand too close to that lightning rod. It's gonna be a doozy!

After completing a viewing assignment of both of the films in "The Thing" duology, Briana has thoughts, Tommy has justifications and overall, everybody comes out the other side happy (for the most part). Main discussion points include: The Thing (1982 and 2011), body horror as a measurement of time, alternative uses for bubblegum and remote control cars, the unequalled disturbing effect of Don Bluth, dinosaurs and Tommy's mostly nonverbal reaction to the idea of Eva Green and Rachel Weisz sharing a screen together.

Part 1 of 2

Thats right gang, its a double episode drop! In this half, we discuss what we love about "Stranger Things" just a few days before Season 5 dropped. WARNING: Briana may or may not have had a slight crash-out over the mere thought of something happening to Steve Harrington. But to be fair, it was completely justified... at the time.

Part 2 of 2

Come with us as we talk about the final season and series finale of "Stranger Things"; the good, the bad, the sticky and the overall... weird. SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY!

There are many renderings of Shirley Jackson's classic tale of Hill House and it's many aspects but here Briana and Tommy mainly discuss the original novella in and of itself, along with the 2018 Mike Flanagan masterwork limited series on Netflix and the (some? would? say?) honest attempt of the 1999 classic "The Haunting". As usual, they have thoughts... lots of thoughts. Some of them are opinion-shaped and of variable hardnesses. So come along and see what haunts them about "The Haunting of Hill House"

He did it! He does it? Anyways, it occurred... This week we let Tommy off the chain a little to talk about his knowledge and appreciation for the works of H.P. Lovecraft while also taking the time to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that Lovecraft wasn't exactly the picture of mental health nor societal understanding and tolerance. So grab your tentacles, beakers, mashed potatoes, flasks and sacred eldritch texts as we have ourselves A Very Lovecraftian Thanksgiving.

In this, our first actual legitimate episode, we discuss a favorite Netflix horror series of ours (mainly Tommy's) which taps lightly on the concept of Lovecraftian horror and stories that take place within split timelines. Is it good? Is it horror? Is it ever going to come back? Should we all appreciate our vintage media a little more? Stick with us and we'll answer some of those questions (maybe?). Music by Amylia Ryan on Instagram @amyliaryan.music

Two not-quite siblings but definitely not-just-friends made a joke one time. A joke that may or may not have been taken seriously a few days afterwards. Then Bri recorded a call with Tommy to see if the joke was not just a joke.

This is that phone call.