Your Other Family

It’s the premiere episode of Your Other Family Podcast! Or, the YOFcast, as we’ll also be known. Join hosts Tom and Erin for a brief origin story of how Your Other Brothers and Your Other Sisters came to be, along with some amazing topics we would discuss at length on this show – if only we had the full funding to do so!

We’re still finding our footing as a nonprofit ministry, and we’re excited about the possibility of this new YOF coed podcast with contributing members of both YOB and YOS, also maintaining our YOB an...

Tom welcomes back Dawson to recap our seventh YOB retreat! We share our perspective about our retreat’s first-ever prayer labyrinth exercise, and we hit some of the other highlights of our weekend together in western Pennsylvania, including a manly calisthenics workout and a mysterious visitor to our lodge porch. Dawson shares his reaction to being crowned our first-ever “Mr. Masculinity,” and Tom shares a profound retreat moment that crescendoed with fifty men huddling around him in prayer.

Have you ever walked a prayer labyrinth? What were your takeaways from this year's YOB retrea...

Where have we experienced hurt in the church, whether from our sexuality or otherwise? How do we continue in spiritual communities after experiencing church hurt? Join Tom, Ryan, and Matt for a raw discussion on our community’s church hurt stories. We’ll dive into the other side of hurt in a follow-up episode, but for now, we want to honor the pain, the loneliness, the frustration, the rejection, the abuse, the trauma, and the injustice of experiencing hurt in a place and with a people where we should have experienced life. If one of us hurts, may we all...

Andrew returns to dive deeper into his blog, “A Straight Man Won’t Fix You.” What led him to write this post, and long did he ponder it? Join Tom and Andrew for a discussion on the idolization of friendships with straight men, theorizing why some men in Side B spaces get drawn into the "mythical" realm of straight men. We also briefly recap the third season of “Heartstopper” and lament Andrew’s lack of attendance – and also his felt presence – at this year’s YOB retreat.

How have you sought healing or "fixing" from a str...

After a couple years of discussions, spreadsheets, form submissions, and more legal fees than you could imagine, Your Other Family is now a government-recognized nonprofit organization! The IRS approved our nonprofit, and all membership dues and donations to our ministry are officially tax-deductible, including all amounts given retroactively on our new giving platform. We still have a journey yet ahead of us to close our remaining funding gaps, but this is a huge step forward.

Tom recounts our recently held YOB retreat, which focused on God’s call for Abram to “go” – and so, we too are going. W...

What draws us to the beauty of men? Do we engage it or run far from it? Join Tom, Ryan, and Matt for a discussion on masculine beauty! Learn why this topic has become something of Ryan’s “brand,” including a perspective shift that’s helped many members of our YOB community. We talk about navigating the tension between admiration and lust, gratitude and envy, and participation and insecurity in our interactions with the beautiful men around us. How do we direct our observations of masculine beauty back to the Creator?

What do you find...

Welcome to our debut episode of the YOScast! Johana-Marie and Ashley join Erin to discuss the Life on Side B podcast episode on women's inclusion in Side B spaces (S3Ep14). As listeners, Erin and Johana-Marie talk about our big takeaways from this conversation, and Ashley recalls her experience co-hosting this episode. It’s been four years since it aired, so what has changed? Has anything stayed the same? We reflect on what gaps we still see in the Side B world, discuss how YOB has impacted us as women, and build up excitement for what Your Other Sisters wi...

Tom here, and it's my monthly "State of the Sparrow" for Your Other Family! It feels good to say I am now executive director of this new ministry. This month we finally made the switch away from Patreon to our new ministry giving platform. I actually got emotional deactivating our old way of supporting YOB. But I'm excited for what's to come as I update y'all on the resumption of regular blog/podcast content, as well as our next YOB+YOS membership call and our 7th YOB retreat this month in Pennsylvania.

I'll share more about the...

After 2+ years, we’re back with a new YOBcast! OGs Tom and Ryan welcome new YOBcast regular Matt as we catch up on the last couple years of our nonprofit journey. Fittingly, with the formation of Your Other Sisters alongside YOB under our nonprofit ministry of Your Other Family, we discuss the topic of WOMEN. How well have we connected with women from childhood to today? Did we genuinely experience adolescent crushes on girls or even try dating women? How has our sexuality impacted our friendships with women in adulthood, and how have we honestly felt about the formation of...

Introducing our new Your Other Family Podcast Network: a podcast channel for all YOF, YOB, and YOS podcast productions.

In our first YOF Update pod, Tom shares the latest organizational updates about Your Other Brothers and Your Other Sisters under our new pending nonprofit ministry of Your Other Family! Tom shares the tentative upcoming podcast schedule, along with the financial situation as we pivot away from YOB’s Patreon page to our new giving platform with YOF.

In short: we need your help to launch successfully with Tom and Erin on staff next month. Would yo...

Ryan returns! We catch up on his life over the last couple years, including his VERY COOL new earring. We also celebrate our 100th ConvoCast by dusting off the oft-neglected “YOBcast Topics” spreadsheet to talk about what we WOULD talk about if we were talking about it (but we're not). Do you follow? Potential YOBcast topics like robosexuality, nudity, cuddling, arousal, and much, much more.

Thanks friends for 100 conversations!

What topics should we discuss on the YOBcast? What stands out from the options mentioned on this episode, and what other ideas do y...

Tom’s brother Andy returns for his annual tradition of prepping us for the big game! We dive into the big storylines of Super Bowl LIX (or, Licks) and give our predictions for this Chiefs v. Eagles rematch of two years ago. We also spend a good portion of the episode talking about non-football things! Such as the hottest players, the Kendrick v. Drake feud, and the sexuality of various snackfoods. Oh, and Taylor Swift makes her second straight appearance on our Super Bowl episode as well. We hope you feel adequately prepared for all the festivities this year!

State of the Sparrow year-ending update, LIVE from the Brooklyn Bridge!

Tom's younger brother, Andy, returns to discuss something besides football! Well – he does give us his Super Bowl prediction before he inevitably returns for his annual Big Game assessment podcast in a couple months. But before any football talk, we discuss his impending fatherhood! He and his wife are due with their first child, a daughter, in just a few more months. What brings Andy joy, and what causes him anxiety about becoming a father for the first time? What's Tom's biggest anxiety for his coming niece? And what trait does Tom admire the most in a leader – particularly in a...

We're back! Daniel joins Tom to recap this year's YOBBERS Retreat. As a newer member of YOB leadership, how did Daniel enjoy this retreat compared to others? We reflect on this distinction of leadership and participation with our retreat, including the challenge of not just serving a role or a function all weekend long. We also dive into our retreat's first-time art piece -- a locked birdcage with one sparrow inside and two sparrows outside -- and how this piece led to some interesting reflections from the YOBBERS. Finally, we introduce the YOB universe to our newest mascot and...

Support the relief efforts from Tropical Storm Helene by giving to Tom’s church, Fellowship Asheville.

Or shop from the Fellowship Asheville Amazon wish list to give specific items to those in need.

Dawson returns to help us close our At Home series! Tom takes the show on the road to Athens, Georgia, where he once lived for 11 years, to share an in-person conversation with Dawson, who has lived in this city for all 31 of his years. Why did Tom leave home all those years ago, and why has Dawson stayed? Has this same city been a consistent refuge for Dawson, or have there been some darker times, even times where he thought he might leave this only home he's ever known? Both Dawson and Tom live alone, and they share the...

Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS...

Ryan makes his podcast debut as our first native Canadian on the show! He shares his unique living situation, splitting time in the big city and also a small town living in a house with his younger brother. Both Ryan and his brother are single men in their forties -- Ryan, queer; his brother, straight. How did this living situation in a faraway town come to be? Ryan tells us the story about "taking the long way" one day, along with his initial visceral reaction to the notion of living with his little brother for the first time since...

Newcomer to the podcast but not to our community, longtime member Matt shares about his life in a celibate partnership with another man. He talks about splitting time in two locations to be close to his parents as well as his partner, with whom he co-owns a house. He shares openly how there was never any sort of road map to this particular kind of "Side B" journey, connecting with some other celibate couples over time. Matt shares the joys of hospitality with his partner, as well as some of the challenges of celibate partnership -- namely, translating the...

Nhat makes his debut appearance! We celebrate his 1-year YOBiversary as he tells us his “at home” story of being married to his wife of the last four years. He shares the challenges of merging his wife’s family dynamic and his own into one new family and home, as well as the joys of complimenting one another and yearning for a better home together. We also dive into Nhat’s childhood as a “PK” or pastor’s kid and how that has impacted his faith journey, including his coming out experience at 21. How did coming out affect his parents, parti...

Harrison returns to discuss his societally common but YOB-ly uncommon home life: a wife and three kids! He shares the joys of noise in his home, as well as the challenges of wondering whether he measures up as a dad. We learn about the farm where he grew up, including the literal closet that was once his refuge. Harrison shares vulnerably about his struggles to feel "at home" in his male body, also pointing out the beauty of Jesus' having a human body along with the Spirit's indwelling in physical bodies today. While having kids doesn’t complete a ma...

Daniel returns to discuss his life in SoCal, living with two straight men! Like Andrew, he also moved across America for a new start and a new home from the Midwest. He tells us Andrew's teased "pots and pans" story from our last episode, a snapshot of pursuing healthy communication and expectations with straight roommates. Daniel shares some of the joys of living with straight men, including the activities in which they partake with each other and all of Daniel's queer friends, as well as the challenges. What will happen if and when these straight men choose to marry...

Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Wh...

Matthew returns to discuss his home life: always living with his family even as he enters his late thirties! He explains the importance of family within his Navajo culture, sharing why he enjoys regularly going home to the reservation after moving away from it. But Matthew also shares why he doesn’t disclose anything about his sexuality with his conservative family. Despite this withholding, Matthew feels at home with his churches and friends, particularly his male friends, claiming he’s never felt more masculine and comfortable in his body than he does now. Will he always live with family, or d...

We spend over half our lives at home; let’s discuss how where we live impacts our faith, sexuality, and masculinity! Join us all summer AT HOME, as we connect with a different YOB community member in a different life stage and living situation. Today we welcome back Marshall to talk more about his unique home life: a 20-acre farm, living alongside 23 people in a central house, cabins, tiny houses, and RV’s. How has Marshall enjoyed living alone in the past, and did he second-guess living with younger single men as an older single man? How did Marshall’s many...

We kick off a new summer series, AT HOME: how our current life stages and living situations impact our faith, sexuality, and masculinity. Join us each episode for a new member of our YOB community sharing his story from various life stages and living situations. We start with our “plain old gay” Matt, who has been living with other gay men, both affirming and traditional, after 15 years of living by himself. We learn Matt’s home environment growing up, including how that shaped his view of what the future would look like. What have been the joys and challenges of sha...

It’s our State of the Sparrow podcast/community update! Tom goes on an off-the-grid trip, a new YOB ConvoCast summer series is coming, and we need new websites for YOB and YOS – which requires a talented web designer! Know anyone? Email Tom: tom@yourotherbrothers.com

Harrison Bly joins the show to discuss masculine friendship! Harrison is a member of our YOBBERS community and the author of Bent on Men, a book recently featured in our monthly YOBBERS Book Club. Both Tom and Harrison reference their books, sharing what happens after some pivotal friendships change, fizzle, or even disintegrate entirely after the final page. They discuss the friendship dynamics of connecting with straight men as well as fellow "Side B" men. What are the challenges or even road blocks to forming various male friendships? And what do we do with this loneliness epidemic which has...

Simon joins the show from faraway Britain as our first native UK YOBBER! He tells us about his life in Oxfordshire, including a cat and his very own "flat." Tom bonds with Simon over their shared experiences in Oxford, including the very same bedroom. Simon gives us a lovely list of Britishisms, including the definition of a "yob." He also shares some of his story with faith and sexuality, enlightening us about Side B life from a non-American country. We also have an exciting update on the European YOBBERS retreat taking place later this year!

It’s another community update pod; catch it now before it disappears like an asteroid passing over…

Erin returns to discuss the development of Your Other Sisters, including our recently held coed Zoom call with Your Other Brothers! We recap our YOB and YOS call, including a critical icebreaker of our favorite condiments. We invite all who are interested in these YOB and YOS developments to join us! Man or woman, shoot us an email to learn more: contact[at]yourotherbrothers[dot]com

For the rest of the episode, we discuss this current season of Lent in these weeks leading up to Easter. We share some of our spiritual upbringings, including our experience with...

Our resident Enneagram Seven and unofficial international correspondent, Daniel, returns to pitch this summer's special gathering of YOBBERS -- in Europe! He joins Tom to discuss a smaller-scale retreat or "holiday" somewhere in the Mediterranean, inviting all who are interested to email him ASAP: daniel[at]yourotherbrothers[dot]com

Daniel also catches us up on his life in London -- including the exciting news that he is now a British citizen! He tells us about one country where he's already traveled with his new passport, as well as another on the horizon to see a certain female...

First-time guest Andrew joins Tom to discuss Netflix’s Heartstopper! It’s a queer coming-of-age show that many in our YOB community have enjoyed, though its depictions of queer romance could also be distracting for some (nothing sexual in the first two seasons, just lots of same-sex kissing). We discuss what we loved from the characters in romantic pairings to the loyal friendships that ultimately reinforce this show. We devote our remaining time to the show’s lone asexual character as two people in YOB who identify as asexual ourselves. What did we resonate with in this character, and where...

Tom’s straight younger brother Andy returns for his yearly appearance on the podcast to educate us on this year’s Super Bowl matchup between the Chiefs and 49ers! Beyond merely giving us the players to look out for, Vegas’s odds for the winner of this game, and his own prediction, he also educates us on a truly shocking Taylor Swift lyric. We dive into all the T-Swift and Travis Kelce storylines, along with the often loud objections to their media coverage. Is toxic masculinity out of control?!

➡️ Who do you got in this ye...

Alex is announced as our newest regular YOB contributor, and we get right into analyzing his blogs! We start with discussing a reflection of last fall’s YOBBERS retreat written by his mom and how this unique blog even came to be on our site. We also go behind the scenes and into greater depth with his recently posted blog about holding hands with his straight guy friends: one story in which a friend reached across a restaurant table to hold his hand, and another in which Alex extended his own hand toward a friend while walking with him in...

Matt returns for a second go on the podcast as we dive into Gen Z fashion trends! Have the '80s and '90s just had a baby and its name is Gen Z? How do we feel about the enlarging of pants, the sprouting of pearl necklaces, and a resurgence in New Balances and Champion sweatshirts? Beyond their fashion choices, how do we feel about this generation's greater openness about sexuality and same-sex friendships? Tom poses some community fashion questions to Matt as we get to know him better, namely how many hats, shoes, and flannels he owns...

Dawson, formerly Adam in previous podcasts, returns to help Tom celebrate Christmas this year! Dawson shares why he celebrates Christmas in February in addition to December, and Tom tells a Christmas tale of the first man he ever feared. We reference the "Fancy Christmas" recently spent with our YOBBERS community, including someone’s goal to appreciate Jesus’ humanity during what can be a complicated, if not lonely Christmas season. We also give a little Survivor 44 and Survivor 45 recap for all the Survivor fans in our midst in this final podcast of 2023!

➡️ Do you have any...

Aaron returns to the microphone after a nearly yearlong hiatus! Tom catches up with our former YOBcast regular, and "Mr. Finance" gives us his financial forecast for 2024. Aaron also shares about Posture Shift, a nonprofit ministry he's gotten more involved with this year as a member of their advisory council. The guys share some Posture Shift event stories, including the first time Tom publicly identified as asexual on a Posture Shift panel, while Aaron recently met one of our YOBBERS from Scotland at a Posture Shift event! Check out the links below to learn more about this incredible event...

It's our post-Thanksgiving episode! Matthew returns to share how he celebrates Thanksgiving with his Navajo family, including which food takes the central place of the traditional American turkey. He also educates us with a Native American fact to help us commemorate Native American Heritage Month. For the rest of our conversation, Matthew and Tom discuss the topic of "Side A" friendship -- that is, friendships with gay believers with an affirming theology or an acceptance of same-sex relationships. Matthew mentions a new Side A friend, and Tom discusses his own recent experience with a Side A person, comparing it...